March 14, 2025

LE WEEKEND: LOOKING FOR BAGHEAD

This is a non-football but busy time of year, meaning it’s only half bad, since non-football and non-busy usually winds up in lots of irresponsible consumer spending on things involving gunpowder, sharpened knives, defenseless animals, and over-the-counter drugs easily converted into harder drugs. Then, you combine these elements into a fascinating carnival of fun that lasts until your neighbors start minding the smell/getting suspicious/call the police, resulting in a week-long standoff. Again.

So, the busy part.

1. We have an interview with Ric Flair today. Feeling: WOOOOOOO!!!

2. We have an actual interview with an actual coach on Monday. Double WOOOOOOOO!!!

3. We’re posting from the SEC tournament today, and have learned that Tennessee fans can boo very loudly indoors, too.

4. We have a request: we want to interview Baghead. Yes, this Baghead:

The man responsible for FireRonZook.com has vanished into obscurity, and we’d like to talk to him. That request comes with the promise of complete anonymity, and the understanding that we are not him, and therefore will not just write up an interview with ourselves. For definitive proof, consider this slice of life from the archives of the blog:

My TENNESSEE SUCKS shirt will have to hit the closet for another long year. At least my fiance will be happy. She thinks I look like a redneck in it anyway.

We’ve been married for ten years, first. Second, TCOAN would applaud such as shirt as proper dinner wear.

Enjoy your weekend, and Baghead! Holla at your blogger!

FRIDAY CHEESECAKE: GATOR GIRL EDITION

Where’s my bunda? My cheesecake? WAAAAAAAHHHHH who wants to read about spring practice injuries when you could be spoon feeding me pictures of scantily clad women WAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!???!!

Fine. Take your bunda early on what is shaping up to be a hectic Friday for us, but it comes in a Gator wrapper, and you have no choice in the matter. God bless Flickr: Gator Girl saved us from having to actually look for bunda this Friday and provided some balm to the burn of dropping from the first round of the SEC tournament. We can’t embed the photo, but the slideshow is here and will satisfy all your needs for cheesecake this friday. (It’s SFW, but not work-smart.)

The jersey pic with the white shorts is particularly whoa. We recommend with force.

For those still wanting pictures with this post, I offer a few after the jump.

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DOGS PLAYING FOOTBALL: A TRIUMPH

Yes, yes. Quite.

Devin Wordley, Art Critic, gesturing at the wall of a gallery: Yes! Quite! A savage excoriation of the Anglo-Germanic-American bloodlust for competition and cheap, facile artifice without edges; yes, a true jab at the hollow, bloody soul of the worker’s theatre. Note the use of faux-trope here as the artist cloaks themselves in the sheep’s skin in order to come closer for the true kill, working in the cheap mock-airbrush to get his Trojan Horse of an assault on the mores of violent spectacle: a dog’s life shrouded in the illusion of glory, a…

Dude: Dude, that’s my favorite poster!

DW: Um, yes? Poster, you say?

Dude: Yeah. If you get high and look at it, you will lose your shit. There’s no helping it. I mean…they’re dogs, man. And they’re playing football!!!

DW: Yes, I see now. Dogs playing football.

Dude: You gay?

DW:
Yes, yes. I am. A gay man in need of a new art review before deadline this afternoon.

You may purchase Dexter’s favorite piece of subversive football art on Amazon for $29.99, marked down from its original $99.99 robbing selling price.

CURIOUS INDEX, 3/14/08

Albert has exquisite taste in his college football reading:

West Virginia police arrested Noel Devine for a misdemeanor assault charge, meaning Bill Stewart better free up a scholly right quick. (Any fifth year seniors around who’ll never crack the lineup? They’ll do-just make sure they don’t have custodianship of a brother and heavy prior media exposure.) As reader Cincy wrote in:

Associative property in action

Devine is faster than the Sooners.

Police faster than devine.

thus, now the police are faster than my Sooners? DAMMIT!!!

Yes. Fortunately, Oklahoma does not have to play the Morgantown PD Rec Squad yet. If they do opt to schedule them for a game, we recommend that they do it during the regular season, when Oklahoma’s near-automatic, rather than late in the season or during bowl season when Oklahoma enters bat country and the oddity starts.

That’s one point for Devine’s arrest on a misdemeanor assault chargefrom a February incident in a Morgantown night club. Four others were arrested, but it’s unclear whether they’re charged with anything at all, or whether the police are doing what police are wont to do with college kids, which is rounding up a group of them and scaring the shit out of them. (”Your friends will rat you out on the sign-stealing charge! You know they will! We know who stole the traffic cone!)

LSU’s first spring practice was sloppy, with nothing more notable in terms of news than new quarterbacks missing signals and kickers and punters performing well. If you’re looking for rumors, though:

“It is a cold,” Miles said. “I shook hands with the wrong guy.”

Rumorriffic: Is Miles trying to say he agreed on a contract number he didn’t like, since Miles hasn’t actually agreed on a final salary number with LSU? Is he trying to say he just made an irresistible deal with Beelzebub himself? Did he shake hands with Bobby Petrino at one point earlier in the day? Or is he merely suggesting LSU officials are disease-ridden pathogen farms? OR DOES HE SIMPLY HAVE A COLD? We leave you to decide, reader!

USC’s Fulmer Cup points are dropped thanks to charges against defensive tackle Fili Moala being dropped.

Two good bits from Tony Barnhardt’s spring practice review: One:

I talked to some South Carolina people at the Georgia Dome yesterday and they tell me that linebacker Jasper Brinkley (from Thomson) is up to about 270 and that it is all muscle.

My ass. Or we don’t want to believe Jasper Brinkley could get any more hellacious; when South Carolina lost him to injury last year they started giving up thousands of yards on the ground as a defense. At 270, South Carolina could just move him up to the line, drop ten in coverage, and have a fine pass rush with exceptional coverage. However, on rush defense they’d have to move up at least one other guy to shift to a 2-3-6 defense.

And this:

Former Michigan quarterback Ryan Mallett is asking the NCAA to waive its transfer rule in order to be eligible this season at Arkansas. I reached out to some Arkansas folks and they said they don’t know when the ruling will come down. Mallett will not get a waiver.

So Arkansas will, for the moment, have to start a quarterback who can move. Shame.

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