BLOOD BALLS YAY BLOOD BALLS
Buckeye Commentary spots a great Kirk Barton quote from why tOSU took particular savor from their victory in Happy Valley against the Penn State Saturday. It all comes down to one thing: don’t mess with the band.
“Real quick before I go on, I just want to say we dedicated this to our band, well, that’s something I came up with because they couldn’t come back after they had like piss bombs and blood balls thrown at them last year, so this is for our band. It’s not all Penn State fans, it only takes a couple, but it spoils the whole experience of college football for our band. Just let them know we’re thinking about them (the band).”
Don’t waste blood balls, kids. Also: remember to pay your taxes.Blood balls? Dear god…we know that blood balls had a deep and enduring role in the traditions of college football, but sweet jesus, what kind of savage throws them? They should be cherished for what they are and their unique roles at each school, not tossed willy-nilly at the band like so many loose bolts and broken glass.
At LSU, they fry them; at Miami, they throw them at chalk outlines to prevent investigations from proceeding (no snitching!); at Tennessee they feed them to Phil; at Ole Miss, they throw them at Ed Orgeron, who wears a loincloth and carries a flamethrower around campus on Thursdays just to send a message to the world. At Wisconsin they drink them, since the prevailing BAC in Madison is high enough to qualify blood balls as high-gravity beer; at Washington, Ty Willingham uses them as golf balls on the driving range, where he is the ball two to three hours a day, not the club. In
But throwing them? Please. Blood balls are too precious a commodity for mere band-baiting. That’s what piss-bombs are for, and West Virginia fans will be more than happy to send someone for a train-the-trainer session in that.
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Blood Balls??? I picture a respectible amount of blood tied off in a condom. Am I close?
Comment by King Harvest — October 29, 2025 @ 4:00 pm
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Blood Balls Dept:
Blood balls at USC -> Pete Carroll uses them to condition his hair.
Blood balls at Notre Dame -> Charlie Weis uses them as dipping sauce for this chesse-burgers
Blood balls at ucla -> Given to Dorrell who has no idea what to do with them and just stares at them with deer-in-the-headlights eyes.
Comment by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me — October 29, 2025 @ 3:50 pm
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JoePa likes to drain his brains before dinner, and he lets the student section use the blood.
Comment by DevilGrad — October 29, 2025 @ 3:49 pm
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You have to give PSU fans the benefit of the doubt, though, after reading the story about the 5,000 or so drunken student to 1 port-a potty ratio, it’s quite possible that during the evidently normal course of disposing of personal waste receptacles some opposing fans/band members could get caught in a crossfire.
On another note, I do not know what “blood balls” are and have no intention whatsoever of typing those two words into a google search bar either…Like ever…
Comment by Pants McPants — October 29, 2025 @ 3:47 pm
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JoePa is moving from brains to pure blood to keep his youth.
Comment by formerlyanonymous — October 29, 2025 @ 3:47 pm
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i mean, look, when a PSU blog writes this about it’s OWN fanbase:
“This weekend featured some of the worst behavior from Penn State fans I can ever recall. I saw Ohio State fans being harassed for no reason other than they were wearing red as they just walked around the tailgate area. When the Blue Band played the Ohio State fight song in tribute to the visiting fans, the back rows of the freshman student section started up the predictable ‘Fuck Ohio’ chant.”
maybe it’s time to get off your ivory tower. not that Ohio State fans are all that much better, but we don’t have any misconceptions about it and have made an attempt to change things. most penn state fans refuse to acknowledge there’s even a problem
Comment by bup bup bup — October 29, 2025 @ 3:44 pm
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Blood balls are so metal.
Comment by Oops Pow Surprise — October 29, 2025 @ 3:42 pm
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not that anybody cares, but…
threadjack/
Sam Keller out for the year.
/threadjack
Resume bloody ball jokes presently.
Comment by Land of Os(borne) — October 29, 2025 @ 3:40 pm
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His last comment, about thinking about the band…ummm, did the band die in Happy Valley?? Was a tuba player killed?? I’m confused.
I visited Penn State as a Sigma Chi to visit their fraternity house and, ummm, yeah, that was a scary place. Those poor, poor souls who pledged.
Comment by Edsall is God — October 29, 2025 @ 3:36 pm
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dude, it’s not like any of that is made up. penn state fans really did throw bags of piss and balls of mud at the band. i’ve got several friends who were in the band at the time, and a few of them got hit.
the delicious irony is that this season penn state’s players have to pick up their own fans’ piss bags
Comment by bup bup bup — October 29, 2025 @ 3:35 pm