October 5, 2025

WEEK SIX: THE ORDER OF BUSINESS

Tons going on this weekend, so we push the old ladies down and cut to the head of the line.

Going to Baton Rouge. Momma, that’s a bad place, according to Mike Oher, but we’re ready to take our whippin’ and watch the drunken hordes of LSU fans with our own bleary eyes.

NEED TICKETS. We need tickets, of course-email us if have two to sell at face. If you supply us with face value tickets, we’ll give you a signed copy of the ESPN Guide to Psycho Fan Behavior, which comes out next week. We need two: one for us, and one for our kind host. We realize this is like asking someone to mail you a leprechaun, but it’s our last hope. Planning is for sissies.

In case you doubt the quality of the ESPN Guide to Psycho Fan Behavior, regard the following diagram from the stirring chapter “How to Steal a Mascot” and consider yourself converted to the way of the Psycho Fan.

Seriously, there’s lots of pictures, and it’s the most bathroom-compatible book ever written. PURCHASE PURCHASE PURCHASE!!!

We will be tailgating. This will involve a headbutt from reader Ragin’ Cajun Rebel, who is about to discover that nifty little metal plate in our forehead the hard way. Who says severe head injuries don’t have an upside? If you want to meet and greet, please email us at the standard harumphharumph at the yahoo type address to get in contact with us.

Specious picks! We’re making some weekly sandwiches for the Sporting News under a really bizarre pseudonym now. Enjoy some completely unscientific deli meat while you’re browsing today.

Enjoy your weekend, and come talk to Verne on Sunday. If you don’t hear from us by Sunday on EDSBS Live, we’re dead in a bayou with a smile on our face. Our guest (if we live) will be Verne Lundquist of CBS. Stop by the site and hit the EDSBS LIVE! banner on the right side of the screen just before 7 p.m. EST.

In the meantime……we’ll have Ladies on for liveblogging. Boobs! Football! Pull up the laptop and get sedentary, people. Blood makes the grass grow, but it doesn’t have to be yours, viewer. Let some fine scholarship athletes do all that mess for you this weekend.

If you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a party to get to in Baton Rouge. We’ve heard the host is…a bit quick to anger if you ask him about who built the digs.


Who made this? Huh? ME! Not Nick Saban! ME!”



Filed under: Blog Buddies, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, Southeastern Conference  by Orson Swindle

LOU HOLTZ BENDS TIME, RIPS NEWSPAPER

0:12-MEN! He always starts by addressing the team as men. Sexist pig, that Lou.

0:29-Refers to Baton Rouge as “The toughest environment in the world.” We call bullshit, Lou. Have you ever played football in the caldera of Kilauea? Or at Fashion Week in Paris? Because those bitches can be savage without ever making a tackle and have you crying into a candy dish full of blow before you know what happened.

Or that hell-stadium from the old Eric Cantona Nike commercial, Lou-ever think about that? They tried to kill Patrick Kluivert, Lou! Satan wouldn’t do that. (Actually, that’s exactly what we imagine Death Valley to be like down to the flames, blind refs, and dogs on the sidelines.)

0:44-Lou says “happiness is having a short memory.” There’s a joke here, but we can’t remember what Lou just said, and therefore will got to the fridge for some Craisins. YAY CRAISINS!

0:52-We’re so happy.

1:02-Lou’s got a newspaper out. Says the editorial page is for “people who can’t think.” Considering that Lou’s ripping up a USA Today, we’ll give him that one uncontested.

1:10-Oh shit. He’s not…

1:15-He is.

1:32-Lou Holtz just stole my reality and drove it into a retaining wall at 90 miles an hour. Instead of exploding, though, it turned to butterflies and dollar bills. It’s pennies from heaven, Lou!

1:44-”I wake up screaming in the middle of the night because I can’t figure it out myself.” It’s like you can see into our soul, Lou. We take back everything bad we’ve ever said about Lou Holtz, since the rest of his life has simply been a warmup for this role as the man who takes a pastry gun of madness, plants it firmly in your ear, and injects your skull full of pure creamy madness through the magic of television. We’re smoking LSU on their homefield now-he ripped up a newspaper and put it back together with his mind, man! If a 68 pound man can do that on national television, imagine what we’re capable of…men.



Filed under: Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, ESPN Hollywoodtainment!, si si si!, true love  by Orson Swindle

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