SNOW+COLLEGE STUDENTS=PENIS SHAPES
Project 119, the effort by one 23-year old lunatic to visit every D-1 college football stadium in America, brings us this silent, moving dispatch from Cincinnati.

College students+open gates+snow=penis shapes. Take that down in your notes, because this is science, dammit. (HT: Da Wiz.)
1
What a dick!
Comment by Out of Conference — April 26, 2025 @ 11:56 am
2
…you put it in their hands, they’re gonna play with it…
Comment by sb — April 26, 2025 @ 12:19 pm
3
Where’s the matching vajayjay? Yeah “College students+open gates+snow=penis shapes” but College students+open gates+snow=vagina shapes, too.
Equating the two formulas, I conclude that penis shapes=vagina shapes…but I really don’t know what that gets me. Other than a fucking huge snow cock.
Comment by Aerobab — April 26, 2025 @ 12:25 pm
4
That penis has three testicles. Is it Chuck Norris’s?
Comment by Brian @ MGoBlog — April 26, 2025 @ 12:28 pm
5
Good lord. I love my town, but we just have the worst reputation in the history of metropolitan area’s.
But that is something I could see happening if I was on campus.
Comment by Odell 51 — April 26, 2025 @ 12:42 pm
6
Orson, Offtopic but FYI - Tomorrow’s the big day for PSU football fracas…..
http://www.pennlive.com/pennstatefootball/patriotnews/index.ssf?/base/sports/1177548020272300.xml&coll=1
Comment by PSUrob — April 26, 2025 @ 12:48 pm
7
The penis stops short of the endzone as, unsurprisingly, UC still can’t score.
Comment by DevilGrad — April 26, 2025 @ 12:55 pm
8
Bab, regarding your corollary equation, I would posit an alternative that college students + open gates + snow = frozen knees and corresponding frozen rumps if penis/vagina shapes are included… at least thats been my experience (as far south as UGA, but not at Florida).
Brian, if you’d been paying attention you’d know that if its three testicles it has to be Tim Tebow…he as supplanted Chuck Norris as the Uber Mensch…
Comment by sb — April 26, 2025 @ 1:18 pm
9
Brain #4 - are you sure it’s 3 testicles, or is it John Kruk’s set before surgery ?
Comment by Out of Conference — April 26, 2025 @ 1:27 pm
10
“At the University of Cincinnati, like a beacon of sparkling light at the stadium, they’ve created one of the most famous sights in college football: touchdown penis.”
Comment by OMBrendon46 — April 26, 2025 @ 1:37 pm
11
Looks like two, maybe three balls crossed the goal line to me, DevilGrad; should be 21 points.
Comment by SunDawg — April 26, 2025 @ 2:03 pm
12
I don’t know - he may be tea-bagging the near endzone, but it looks like he’s coming up short in the red zone at the business end.
Comment by Out of Conference — April 26, 2025 @ 2:09 pm
13
#4 and #8
Nope, George Washington.
Comment by oc phil — April 26, 2025 @ 2:53 pm
14
#13, I get it, the father of the country and all…
But really, if two testes can produce either a female with the XX chromosomal pair or a male with an XY chromosomal pair, can three produce an XXX or XXY chromosomal trio, and if not, why? Just askin’, since I sucked at genetics (frickin pushed me into law).
Comment by sb — April 26, 2025 @ 3:03 pm
15
Touchdown Johnson!
Comment by drogue — April 26, 2025 @ 3:06 pm
16
Shortly thereafter, in an appearant attempt to fire up the Bearcat student body, Jackie Sherrill came to Cincinnati and castrated the stadium.
Comment by RaginCajunRebel — April 26, 2025 @ 3:13 pm
17
Well SB,
To answer your genetics question… XXX is called poly-X syndrome which is a genetic disorder. XXY is called Klinefelter syndrome. I’ts also a genetic disorder, but this disease results in enlarged breasts and small testicles.
This obviously isn’t Klinefelter because these balls are HUGE.
Comment by OMBrendon46 — April 26, 2025 @ 3:29 pm
18
+1 drogue
Comment by PeterPumpkinhead — April 26, 2025 @ 3:32 pm
19
#3,
A matching va-jay-jay would result in a lot of confusion, not to mention a B&E charge for Georgia O’Keefe.
Comment by Big Jon — April 26, 2025 @ 3:40 pm
20
Clearly, these fine Cincinnati residents were influenced by Robert Mapplethorpe’s later work, displayed in that city in the late 80s.
Comment by Signal to Noise — April 26, 2025 @ 3:44 pm
21
That’s Tebow’s. Everyone knows his full name is Tim Tebow-Brasky.
Comment by socalirish — April 26, 2025 @ 3:58 pm
22
They might want to get that lump checked out.
Comment by Will — April 26, 2025 @ 4:30 pm
23
#14- Actually I was citing the greatest song ever. I think I first became aware of it via EDSBS.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IZCNrf0IH_U
(Not the safest for work if you are at an uptight place I guess, but then the context here should make that obvious enough)
Comment by oc phil — April 26, 2025 @ 6:27 pm
24
testes
testes
1
2
3?
Comment by Mister T — April 26, 2025 @ 8:50 pm
25
Anyone else find it appropriate that this story was courtesy of ‘The Wiz’?
Comment by Geaux Irish — April 26, 2025 @ 11:45 pm
26
So does Cincy have a home game against West Virgina this year?
Comment by Kakistocrat — April 27, 2025 @ 6:41 am
27
OM, thanks for the clarification…;
Drogue, that’s funny!;
Comment by sb — April 27, 2025 @ 8:52 am