We’re all set to go with this wildly speculative recruiting piece when reader Craig pointed this out to us. For those of you looking for analysis, numbers, and incisive commentary, well, blame Craig, people. Blame him and the wonders of Flash animation.

For those who would like to watch fat, fat Phil Fulmer chase donuts, you’re in luck. Fulmer is kind of on the brain today, since we did have a honking brontoburger for lunch today, the sort of prey Phil downs like Starlight Mints. We’ve also been thinking about him because Paul pointed out the fact that Fulmer, despite having a street named after him on the Tennessee campus, has gone seven years between BCS bowls, the longest streak for a coach with BCS experience.

If you want more bizarro from the maker of this fine piece, check out his YouTube page here. For those of you on prescription medications, you have been warned. You may confuse what you are seeing for nasty contraindicated side effects, which they very well might be.

The dirty business of lobbying 18 year olds has begun, and like most people dealing with 18 year olds, we expect only the worst and most efffective tactics to be employed: fear, cash, and sex, most notably.

You’ll need a steady hand to pass through the recruiting season, and the right tools to guide you through the dank jungle of rubber chicken dinners, strip clubs, illicit late-night drinking sessions, and surreptitious “rental car” usage you’ll find are all common downfalls of the recruiting season.

Our first cheat sheet follows, letting you know what to expect at each school. Enjoy.

(more…)

In entirely non-football-related news: please, please, please read the NYT article “Outcasts United,” written by friend of the blog Warren St. John about the Fugees, an all-refugee youth soccer league in our backyard of Clarkston, Georgia.

The article is just brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, along with the photographs multimedia stuff accompanying it. Luma is a local hero in our neighborhood, and seeing her get some substantial support and recognition for her work warms the cockles of our otherwise dusty, cold heart. If you’d like to support the Fugees, visit their website and click the soccer ball to donate.

Bring tissues. It’s that kind of party.

Lions on the prowl: Fugees take the field.

Boldly tossing aside the evidence he’s seen from the older product of the gene pool, Houston Nutt continues to chase Dicks.

Arkansas has secured a commitment from Nathan Dick, the younger brother of current starter Casey Dick, a Texas prep all-everything whose visits to Fayetteville convinced him of his place in Arkansas. Another factor may have been the imminent transfer/doghousing/creeping malaise surrounding Mitch Mustain, former all-everything Arkansas prep whose high school coach and former Arkansas offensive coordinator, Gus Malzahn, just ditched the Razorbacks for Tulsa.

We’re building a fake Rivals page just to attract the attention of Nutt and solicit some recruiting calls. Prospective names include:

-Peter Kokkenbalz, an outstanding signal caller from West Pennsylvania.

-Luang Dong, a Vietnamese-American scrambler from Galveston.

-Jonsen Poonhammer, a Norweigian CFL qb looking to break into the pros via the Chris Weinke route.

-Seaman Cannon, a Belle Glade hurler with an explosive arm who sprays the ball all over the field with authority.

All of these will pale in comparison to the glories of late, great, lost recruit Rusty Cocklord, but that’s life. For now, all we know is that if the name makes you think of penis, it must be an Arkansas Razorback qb recruit.

Now the proud coach with two-count ‘em-two Dicks.