The Alphabetical is up in all its glory. We think the letters are all there. More importantly, the BCS has decided that the criteria for valuation is who wins biggest and last, because Oklahoma is above Texas in the fresh rankings, and will therefore get the shot at a Big 12 Championship this week. You go ahead and just let that outrage out, you outraged person, you.
If Oklahoma somehow loses to Missouri-probability ZERO but we state it for the record anyway-then all blazing, many-tentacled hell breaks loose. Until then, welcome your new/old overlord Bob Stoops. Get your Vanessa Carlton on like it’s 2002 all over again!
Working away this a.m., but this has to go somewhere.
That’s probably the best piece of film Oklahoma State could watch to sum up their defensive performance last night. To stop Oklahoma, you may need tactical nukes, and even then given their recent streak, they’d probably just ricochet off someone’s hands and into Jermaine Gresham’s for a touchdown.
The hardest thing about being this fast: slowing down to let the raindrops hit you when you want to get wet. 45-15, Florida. (Beautiful photo by Rob Witzel of the Gainesville Sun, whose whole gallery is here.)
If you don’t flip out and run through the nearest wall after that amazing inspirational speech, join us for the second thread to watch Florida at Florida State. One school stands for all that crushes your soul in the night. The other is Florida State, and sucks. Join the dark side, young Jedi, and extend your arms in pincer motion in front of you and open and close them in a rhythmic fashion.
Sexy, can you? Georgia Tech and UGA on a muddy track gets us started on this most glorious of Saturdays. We apologize for the topless nudity, but in an attempt to be unbiased in the battle of Clean Old Fashioned Hate, we thought we’d give Georgia the lead image for the afternoon, you know, just to be fair. You’re also not going to get sexually aroused for a week, either, meaning you can thank us for all the productive things you’ll accomplish after seeing this image.
You may have noticed an omission in the list of things we were thankful for in the Naked Sushi picks for the week. That blank: you, left out intentionally so we can devote this post to thank you, the cantankerous but lovable reader, for wasting your school/work time supporting this website and its assorted endeavors. Hugs all around, especially to those we’ve wronged, like one former Florida quarterback we swore would never win an important game at Florida. We were wrong, and thank you for proving us so.
We were wrong, Chris. Hugs.
We’re off to remember friends and family’s names until Saturday. We suggest you do the same. Happy Thanksgiving, and thanks to Florida for giving us the best present we’ll get all year long, which you may see after the jump.
HOLLY, QUASI-RATIONAL: Sorry to make an afterthought of you, Agros, but the question here isn’t a Texas win or loss, but a Texas win blowout-y enough to maintain its eensy BCS lead over Oklahoma or not. Still worried about the ‘Horns run game? They can leave it at home, thanks to A&M’s very gracious (91st-ranked) pass defense. Light ‘em up, Battle Cattle.
Grateful for: My veryown Daddy, for teaching me to recognize a 4-3 defense and how to grip a football before I had the training wheels off my first bike.
ORSON, DOING MACK BROWN TWO-STEP. If there is a crack, Mack Brown will be up between the sticky buttocks with a fierceness that will shock and astonish those who have never seen the politician in full attack mode. As much as we’d like Texas A&M to extend the dominion of Barlorath, the 5-headed visigoth spirit who rules the last three weeks of the season with a bloody sceptre and orders barked through a platinum megaphone, and disturb the Longhorns’ claim to a national title slot, the Longhorns are in resume mode. Snap to, Slothrop: them bombs is comin’ down hard and fast all day. The Aggies electoral map shows massive landslide for Senator Brown.
Grateful for: My dog, who holds down the couch with authority.
Interactive Tuesday: Always Insightful. Ball State defated Western Michigan 45-22 to go to 12-0 and remain sans defeat for the season. This game was brought to you by ESPN’s Interactive Tuesday, a feature as insightful as it is intrusive.
(Yes, Freek’s back. Cthulu be praised.)
Urban Meyer thinks this punishment is…yeah, about right. Mark Thompson, a walk-on running back for West Virginia, may now walk off the team and into a local jail, as he and another man are charged with four counts of second-degree sexual assault. Sexual assault’s not the kind of offense that gets you merely suspended, unlike stealing a laptop and writing your name on it before throwing it out of a window, which apparently does.
We thought rail accidents only occurred in Southern Gothic novels. The Pouncey twins are dealing with family tragedy after their stepfather was caught between two rail cars at a feed store in Lakeland, Florida. He’s in critical but stable condition. Mark new nightmare grievous injury/death on the list: anything involving a train. (Unless it’s the Crash at Crush, and if that’s how we have to go out, that’s fine with us.)
Well, we’re in it now. Fine upstanding internet web blog site Loser With Socks says Lane Kiffin be headed Knoxvll way, with announcements to come following Fulmer’s final game against Kentucky this weekend.
ORSON SWINDLE FAQs Got leisure time? Care to waste it? Learn more about Orson Swindle here.
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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