You take that 31-15 defeat back, Tulsa: it never happened. The initial scanty report from the AP is that Oklahoma must forfeit all of their victories from 2005 and will lose additional scholarships per the NCAA’s sanctions in the Rhett Bomar improper benefits case.

Forfeiting games sounds drastic, but it’s more of a symbolic gesture than a punishment. Scholarship losses could be real bloodletting, depending on the number of schollies taken and the duration of the penalty.

Stoops: Bomar’d!.

More pending as we actually figure out what’s going on…

More: Two scholarships gone each year for the 08-09 seasons and continuation of an earlier probation, per the AP. Also restrictions on coaches recruiting off-campus, meaning Oklahoma’s going to be investing in some turbopowered text messaging devices.

…and still more! Here’s the NCAA’s brief on the ruling. Nowhere will you see the dreaded phrase “lack of institutional control,” but there is this comment on what affected the severity of the ruling:

the fact that the violations continued over several months, which led to two of the student-athletes competing while ineligible; and the university had appeared before the committee only one year earlier for a case in which the committee found that the institution failed to monitor the men’s basketball staff’s telephone contacts with prospective student-athletes.

Oklahoma might want to lay off appearing in front of the rules committee for a year or so, as they seem to be developing a memory.

Blogtoberfest! Because suddenly, on July 11th, people are interested in college football.

Pete Carroll responded to Les Miles Schembechler-esque rant against the Big 12 and USC last week in typically beatific fashion, deflecting the criticism of USC by suggesting that it was not USC he skewered, but the blameless innocents they play:

He’s really taking a shot at all the other schools we play. Maybe the comments should come from the coaches at the other schools, including Charlie (Weis) at Notre Dame. He didn’t slam us. He slammed all the other schools we play, all those beautiful angel schools.

You didn’t hurt me. You hurt Charlie. I’ll just let you think about that, Les.

Pete Carroll did not use the phrase “beautiful angel schools,” but in a perfect world he would have.

Pyle of List wades into the scum-encrusted waters of the conference debate with a tale of falling into the hoary SEC/PAC-10 debate with a less-than-reputable conference representative in a bar: a Vanderbilt fan, presumably talking with a gin rickey in hand from atop his sedan chair whilst adjusting his fine top hat all the while.

The beloved and half-assed regional SEC and ACC broadcast partner Lincoln Financial Network, formerly Jefferson Pilot, continues its curious policy of only hiring people named Dave to broadcast the third-tier SEC games it carries. Dave Rowe is gone for mysterious reasons, replaced by former Atlanta Falcons qb and 790 AM personality Dave Archer, who will broadcast the games with Dave Baker and Dave Neal. In summary: LFSEC=(DAVE+DAVE+DAVE-DAVE+DAVE)

Sooners’ NCAA decision concerning the Rhett Bomar illegal benefits case comes out today following a 3:00 p.m. EST conference call between Paul Dee, Miami AD and Rules Committee Chair, and the NCAA. We’re bribing NCAA officials with sums of up to TENS OF DOLLARS to get any and all info we can as soon as it happens. This being Oklahoma and not San Jose State, we expect light slappage and no more.

Ragin’ Cajun deserves hat tips for sending us this story detailing the sprained cerebrum outbreak at Southern University, whose illegal supplement list must include lead-enriched protein shakes: seven players have been declared academically ineligible in the last seven months, which along with two life crisis cases who left the team means the roster’s lost nine players since the new year outside of the normal graduation attrition.

It took Kevin and us exactly three seconds to figure out what the best use of this was: a $1,300 Pudding Bowl for tailgates.

Awwwwwww yeahhhhhhhh: $1,300 worth of pudding.

That’s the ad for NCAA 2008 that aired last night during the baseball all-star game, which we did not watch since we were busy doing EDSBS Live and not giving a shit about baseball. Seeing this did not help our struggle with buying an XBox, which we figure will cost us at least this much money:

-$435 minimum for system setup

-Another hundred for crap we don’t need but crave like sweet, sweet blueflake (headsets, new video game rocker, vibrating wireless codpiece)

-$60 for NCAA 2008

-Calculated loss of wages and labor over the next year. Even at blogging wages, which we’ll calculate at fifty cents an hour for no particular reason, that will add up to $3.5 billion over the next six months lost to playing NCAA alone. Once Mercenaries Two comes out, our losses could add up to the net worth of several Balkan republics since we’ll not only be able to run the “All Speed Option and Statue of Liberty Offense” with our newly created “Peter North University Gushers,” but can throw our brain a changeup by burning down whole Venezuelan towns with nothing more than a cell phone and a lighter.

Even with that and this morning’s replacement of a radiator in the Swindle FAB1…well, it is our birthday tomorrow, no? And we couldn’t have an EDSBS league without the PNU Gushers and their wily Dutch coach Vaas Deference, right?

This week’s big board includes the mysterious and possibly large score made by UTEP this week, represented by question marks. As with the question mark boxes in Super Mario 3, hit it with your head and see what happens! You may turn into a flying raccoon, grow to twice your normal size, or get the special Gallon of PCP bonus.

The addenda, errata, and apologies follow below:

Notes:

Arkansas State falls from the big board due to the dismissal of all charges against players following a ROOOOOOOOOOLLLL BOUNCE! roller skating fracas. We can’t find a link, presumably because the Arkansas court system is clogged solid with cases involving FOIA requests for Houston Nutt’s cell phone records. Should someone find one, please send it or way hyah?

UTEP’s got serious points coming based on the involvement of several players in a bar brawl so big it could have come straight out of a John Ford Western. (Haymakers for everyone!) Police arrived at the scene early Sunday morning to what they described as “a large fight,” and began arresting anything that hadn’t already been thrown into a wagon wheel chandelier, tossed down the length of the bar, or punched into the watering trough by a burly cowpoke. The impressive list of charges follows:

Isaiah Carter, 17, a freshman linebacker from Converse, Texas, was charged with public intoxication; Damon Cromartie, 20, a sophomore defensive back from Riverside, Calif., was charged with disorderly conduct; Tufick Shadrawy, 20, a sophomore wide receiver from Arlington, was charged with assault on a public servant, attempt to take weapon from peace officer and interference with public duties; Brandon Thigpen, 17, a freshman defensive back from Moreno Valley, Calif., was charged with public intoxication; and Brian Wilkins, 20, a sophomore linebacker from Tustin, Calif., was charged with assault on public servant, resisting arrest, search or transport and interference with public duties.

That’s looking to be somewhere in the neighborhood of a powerful 12-14 point surge, proving once again that Mike Price’s teams know how to score points in a hurry. Points pending difficult differential equations needed to calculate properly.

USF RB Mike Ford keeps USF’s ever-growing profile on the swell in the Fulmer Cup, as well, earning himself a contempt of court arrest for ignoring three outstanding warrants, which sounds pretty contemptuous to us. One warrant? That’s mere disdain. Two warrants constitutes snootiness. Three? Contempt, sirrah. One point for USF, who earns it but can’t make it onto this year’s diversified and competitive board.

Our daily affirmation for the starving college football fan comes LOOKING AT YOU LIVE from Hope Stadium, location 52 short days away.