MONDAY MORNING, COMING DOWN: HAVE SOME EXPLOSIONS
We spent the weekend at Cuddles’ wedding reception in Tennessee, and are nursing the kind of hangoverish fatigue one can only get in a blackjackaquilabeerfestive kind of event. However, new visitors to the site never fail to give us the kick of ONE HUNDRED CUPS OF COFFEE. In particular. we’d like to thank gentleman and scholar “EveryDayShouldBeSuckMyDick,” who wrote this underneath the Sports Junkies/Hayley Lafontaine piece:
kill yourselves. nice work writing “lay-up goals” like those are a thing. go do something useful like i’m doing right now
…like leaving a comment on EDSBS? We actually agree here: few things are more useful than leaving a comment on EDSBS. Unfortunately, per EDSBSMD, we have to go put our head in a gas oven for a few minutes now. If it’s like the last time we tried it, the lingering aroma of frozen pizza leavin’s stuck to the sides of the oven will convince us life really, truly is worth living again.
However, please accept as apology the amazing Eastside Catholic High School video, which has more explosions than five minutes of an old Creed concert. (HT: The Sporting Orange.) If you don’t see it here, just wait, since we get the feeling that along with the San Diego Sockers video, it’s going to be today’s strain of comedic internet herpes.
1
Southern Papa says:
Catholic high school boys - privileged, trying to act like ballahs. They are destined for some Ivy League school, ar a reasonable facsimile (see Duke), hire a stripper for a party, and be accused of rape.
July 9th, 2007 at 8:42 am
2
Orson Swindle says:
From the looks of the video they are destined for Christian rock greatness. P.O.D. watch out!
July 9th, 2007 at 8:56 am
3
Doug says:
My first reaction upon seeing that video was, “Good Lord, who does that?” I mean, my little Catholic church in B’ham can barely afford to repair the water damage in the roof, but these ECHS numbnuts can afford to shoot a frickin’ music video? Pretty ballsy for a team that got bounced in the first round of the playoffs, at any rate.
July 9th, 2007 at 8:57 am
4
DevilGrad says:
By “doing something useful,” I believe EDSBSMD means “fucking fat bitches in haystacks.”
(As nearly as I can tell, if one actually graduates from WfVU, one typically moves to DC in search of employment, and I think this explains why the Junkies have an audience.)
July 9th, 2007 at 8:58 am
5
RaginCajunRebel says:
to be fair, Swindle, every day SHOULD be suck my dick. I know I would be a lot happier. As long as it’s my dick.
July 9th, 2007 at 8:59 am
6
Cock D says:
“EveryDayShouldBeSuckMyDick” - wow!!! that has a certain “All Your Base Are Belong to Us” ring to it.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:02 am
7
RedDevilEA says:
skeet skeet
July 9th, 2007 at 9:06 am
8
Brian says:
Back from commenting Hiatus:
Good to see catholic school pricks haven’t changed since my days there. The wannabe ghetto kids we had would have peed their pants if their Jettas had blown a tire on the wrong side of town.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:08 am
9
Coop says:
You have awoken the mouth breathers, an admittedly small fraction, in NoVa, Orson.
Something tells me these folks and Subcommondante Wayne would get along smashingly.
Good work.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:13 am
10
Allahver Fist says:
EveryDayWithYouTubeBlockedShouldBeSuckMyDick.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:13 am
11
Out of Conference says:
I’m a greedy bastard. If RCR gets EDSBSMD to come true, then I want TADSBSMD!
July 9th, 2007 at 9:21 am
12
Kenny says:
Please tell me this team went 2-8 last season.
And “the Big Guy up in the sky”? Totally what he was hoping for, a nice suburban Limp Biskit satire.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:24 am
13
kleph says:
the EDSBS show is shaping up to be a humdinger already….
July 9th, 2007 at 9:25 am
14
Justin Cliburn says:
Perhaps if Eastside Catholic spent more time working out and less time posing for music video games, we’d see them on Saturdays and know who the fuck they are.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:29 am
15
Justin Cliburn says:
Okay, my previous comment is why you shouldn’t simultaneously post a comment about music videos and read an article on video game consoles. Music video games? Maybe EDSBSMD is right about me, at least.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:32 am
16
jon says:
Am I the only person who, upon reading that it was a music video from Eastside High School, expected to hear the “Fair Eastside” song from “Lean on Me?”
The video could have Morgan Freeman hitting stuff with baseball bats and tangling with authorities.
Either one would get me pumped, actually.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:34 am
17
jon says:
I’m ashamed to admit it, but Louisville football games feature 100 blasts of “Boom, Here Comes the Boom!” by POD during each home game.
My Grandpa really gets into it.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:37 am
18
Holly says:
God’s on our side! *clap clap clap-clap-clap*
July 9th, 2007 at 9:41 am
19
Bucktown Skins Fan says:
“PLAY THE FIGHT RIFF!”
July 9th, 2007 at 9:42 am
20
Oops Pow Surprise says:
Far be it for any of us to determine your path for 2008, Swindle, but both edsbsmd.com and everydayshouldbesuckmydick.com are available.
You know, just in case you decide the Friday Cheesecake should get a bit more, uh, “gangbang-y”.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:45 am
21
Raider Red says:
As for the Sockers video, looks like they watched the talent show scene from Revenge of the Nerds one to many times. “Just when you thought you’d seen it all, along comes a Lambda four feet tall…”
July 9th, 2007 at 9:58 am
22
Coop says:
Anybody else play public school football, only to go to college and join a fraternity, or some other group or whatever, and have to listen to the bs spewed by kids who played in private school leagues, in SC it is SCISA,?
Yes, you were bad ass while you were running for 100 yards a game, or throwing for 150, against fellow 160 lb. white kids who were just as slow as you.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:01 am
23
jebushchrist says:
OPS, that would be great if he could go to a scratch & sniff template, but we don’t have the technology (I checked, many times).
mmmmmmmm……. frozen pizza leavin’s …….
July 9th, 2007 at 10:04 am
24
spartymike says:
You know…I was going to name my fantasy football team “Boner Jams ‘03″ this year…but I think EDSBSMD has made it a two horse race.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:12 am
25
Yost says:
O,
Was it just coincidence that there was a Viagra ad embedded in this EDSBSMD post? Or pure targeted advertising genius on your part?
July 9th, 2007 at 10:17 am
26
Cardiac Kids says:
#16:
I would have gotten much more pumped had it been Mrs. Powers’ rendition of the Eastside school song, “Fair Eastside.” One of the greatest moments in movie history:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8eziaVfO-s&mode=related&search=
“Mrs. Powers, who gave you permission to change the school song?!?!”
“Sams…You smoke crack, dont ya? You smoke crack dont ya? Look at me, BOY! Don’t you smoke crack?”
July 9th, 2007 at 10:19 am
27
panhandler says:
Greaaaaaat. Now I’ve got the sound of Olaf from Clerks in my head saying “Every Day Should Be Suck My Dick BERSERKER.”
July 9th, 2007 at 10:20 am
28
PeteJayhawk says:
That’s about the level of discourse I’d expect from a jilted sports talk radio host.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:21 am
29
DC Trojan says:
Lurch can type?
July 9th, 2007 at 10:23 am
30
PeteJayhawk says:
He’s a SPORTS TALK RADIO HOST, Trojan. He has people who do that for him.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:29 am
31
John F says:
See, for a noted gentleman and scholar, I’m dismayed by his choice of a name for a handle. It doesn’t make much sense. He really should have gone with “Every Day is For My Dick to be Sucked” or “Every Day Should Be Dicksucking Day” or “Every Day Should Be Hitting My Head with a Brick Day” something to that effect. That sounds, to me, more sensible.
Also, someone needs to introduce actual riffs to Eastside Catholic High School. Like The Sword or something.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:36 am
32
Boy Howdy says:
I think the better comment was the one that congratulated you on fooling a sports talk radio host, as if that was what you had set out to do.
On the contrary, you are like a person who painted a fake tunnel on a child’s bedroom wall, in a cartoon homage, only to watch two grown men come barreling through your house and smash into the wall in an attempt to run through the fake tunnel.
Beautiful and wonderful, but hardly your intent when you painted it.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:39 am
33
CouchBurnin'Girl says:
… if one actually graduates from WfVU, one typically moves to DC in search of employment, and I think this explains why the Junkies have an audience
F that… I didn’t even know the Junkies were still on the air.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:39 am
34
PeteJayhawk says:
And I thoroughly enjoy the comments that defend the Junkies by helpfully pointing out that they are no longer a sports show…
Fellas, one of the few things more pathetic than sports talk radio is morning drive radio.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:49 am
35
DevilGrad says:
Not surprising. Their station was 17th in the latest DC monthly radio ratings, and that’s after factoring in Don & Mike’s tenth place showing in afternoon drive to bring up the all day average.
http://www.dcrtv.com/
July 9th, 2007 at 10:50 am
36
Aerobab says:
CBG! Where ya been? Not in haystacks, I hope.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:50 am
37
Brian says:
DC/Baltimore Radio is the worst Iv’e come across. I just drive to and from work in glorious, glorious silence.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:58 am
38
Doug says:
Hypothetical question: In a Lame-Off between the Eastside Catholics and the portable-parquet-floor-dancin’ honky tailgaters from Notre Dame, who wins?
(On a related note, I’ve just realized how very, very ashamed I am to be a Papist right now.)
July 9th, 2007 at 11:01 am
39
CouchBurnin'Girl says:
They used to be on 99.9 in DC. Then one morning I was flipping thru stations and 99.9 was a Latino station. I never thought about them again.
No haystacks for me, Aerobab. I’m not fat.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:03 am
40
Red Andrews says:
The excellent production value of that video reminded me of the film that Kevin Steele (former Baylor coach, current Bama asst coach) had the entire team make, which was a remake of Apocalypse Now Redux. The filming ran long, well into August, and post-production consumed most of the scouting and game tape resources of the program until there were about 2 games left. Needless to say, we learned a valuable lesson that summer: spend your time practicing football instead of wasting your time promoting the uniqueness of your program.
The film itself turned out to be quite amazing: the cinematography and CGIs were ahead of their time. In fact, an offensive lineman (playing Kurtz) actually lost his life during production.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:04 am
41
Wooderson says:
Doug (#38), I think the music video wins it hands down.
Se they actually PLANNED that out. The ND thing was just sort of spur of the moment.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:21 am
42
JP says:
This is great, that video was posted from a good friend of mine at ND, that was one of his rival high schools, basically the story is they are a very average football team from washington and they dropped major cash on that video and their ‘our father’ video which got banned by the Seattle archdiocese for being sacrilegious. for more fun with these guys on youtube check out their our father, and if its up, there is a ‘making of win-win-win’ video floating around which is hilarious bc the production company is making fun of the kids, particularly the guy who does the thriller dance…ok good talk
July 9th, 2007 at 11:23 am
43
RittyRich says:
I think as punishment for these white dudes, and especially for their lyric “nobody hits like us,” they should be forced to scrimmage a team at random from south Florida. Any classification will do.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:23 am
44
PJ from NU in SF says:
Jon #17 - Having never heard of POD, I had to look them up. Is it just me, or did they inspire Faith+1?
Coop #22 - Funny, most public schools whine about having to compete in the same bracket with private schools. At least, they do from Kentucky north. I always thought it made everybody work harder. The public schools had to train harder, but the private schools had to go out and find recruits and then find a way to come up with tuition for them. (Oh, one more thing… vouchers suck.)
I do get a kick out of the ITGs who had nothing better to do with their weekend than defend two guys who remind why I loathe people talking on the radio when there isn’t a ball game being played.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:25 am
45
DC Trojan says:
#41 - The ND thing was just sort of spur of the moment
So you’re saying that they just happened to have a parquet floor and a written poem in case a dance-off and ND-football-themed poetry slam broke out?
Something doesn’t have to be good to be great. Don’t deny greatness, Wooderson, no matter in what form it arrives.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:30 am
46
Doug says:
Wait, there’s a “MAKING OF” video for the ECHS thing?!?
That’s like having a “director’s commentary” on the DVD for “Larry the Cable Guy: Delta Farce.”
I say we put that up against Notre Dame Tailgate and App State’s “Hot Hot Hot” video and determine once and for all who sucks the worst.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:37 am
47
United States Football League Pow Surprise says:
Doug, the instrumental break in Hot Hot Hot fucking flattens anything the Papists can offer in response.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:43 am
48
blazin says:
Wasn’t Aleksay Vayner the captian of the Eastside Catholic football team?
July 9th, 2007 at 11:48 am
49
Will says:
I wondered what Fred Durst was up to…
July 9th, 2007 at 11:57 am
50
Wooderson says:
DCTrojan, i’d much rather have that parquet dance floor than the abortion of a “You Got Served” remake brought to us by those wonderful folks form Happy Valley.
July 9th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
51
letsplaytummysticks says:
I must have missed the flyer at graduation. I never even applied to firms in the DC area. I feel so atypical now.
July 9th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
52
jebushchrist says:
I just watched the video again* and I laughed many more times. I love the fact that as a group they spent weeks on this and as a group they’ll be mocked for a lifetime. Sometimes, hard work pays off.
*Don’t you judge me!
July 9th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
53
DC Trojan says:
i’d much rather have that parquet dance floor than the abortion of a “You Got Served” remake brought to us by those wonderful folks form Happy Valley.
That’s the glory of the ebays - however much you may dislike the casual filming of something lame, some idiot out there is putting a lot of effort into something far, far worse.
July 9th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
54
PJ from NU in SF says:
DC Trojan, you know it. All the cool kids are studying digital media these days. The stuff they churn out can be as scary as their limited writing abilities. I’ve had to watch the “Director’s Cut” of a few school projects that left me speechless, and not in the good way.
July 9th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
55
MCab says:
I went to a catholic high school, and it sure as hell busted any stereotype about adolescent papist. If my football team did a video, it’d probably lyrically be reminiscent of Afroman’s “Crazy Rap,” with heavy emphasis on the chorus.
But such a video must give us pause gentlemen (and lady). Who the hell here didn’t do some sort of homebrewed production to which we were later ashamed of. And when I say later, I mean “like two hours later, calling our best friend to shred the damned tape!”
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to call Iron Mountain and tell them to destroy my freshman poetry and my 8th grade “MC MCab” tapes.
July 9th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
56
PW says:
Hey Eastside,
If the fellow wearing #74 on your team weighs 150 lbs., that’s a pretty sure sign that you suck big time.
July 9th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
57
drogue says:
EDSBSMD T Shirts coming to the EDSBS Store soon?
July 9th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
58
Southern Papa says:
Wow. A Monday, 55 days before the season actually kicks off. We’re all shredding the antics of a Catholic high school football team like they’re the spawn of the Peacock Brothers, comparing their dancing ability to Notre Dame MBA’s, Doug, CBG, and all the gang are making an appearance. I love this stuff!
July 9th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
59
Oops Pow Surprise says:
drogue-
Kenny Irons is very interested.
July 9th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
60
drogue says:
I doubt Kenny Irons could spell EDSBSMD.
July 9th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
61
Wooderson says:
MCab, the “hideous media” that you’re referring to usually only appliest osongs of us singing incoherent nursery rhymes at the age of two.
Unless you’re Paris Hilton. Then it’s just incoherent.
July 9th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
62
JP says:
#46-the making of video does exist but it isnt on youtube, i am doing what i can to get a copy from my friend, its about 20mins long though and he didnt want to break it up just to get it onto youtube. Its great though, you get to see them set the ‘guitar hero’ onto the uprights and everything, and hear the kids actually saying the song into the video and all before any actual dubbing or editing was done.
July 9th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
63
JP says:
the making of video is at the bottom of this page
http://www.quantumproductions.net/02_Services/01_Production/01_Production_Welcome.html
enjoy!
July 9th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
64
olfatsolja says:
As the esteemed poster of this video on You Tube, it warms my heart that it has found new life some 3 years since it’s ridiculousness was first enjoyed.
JP informed me of your interest, and he’s covered most of it, but I figured I would get you all the information I have, just in case.
The making of video is now on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnQ2ltbwZ70
part 2 has the good stuff, part one should be there any minute, but it really isn’t that entertaining
The production company can be found here: http://www.quantumproductions.net/
the specific page dealing with the eastside video is under services and then production, scroll to the bottom.
(or just here: http://www.quantumproductions.net/02_Services/01_Production/01_Production_Welcome.html )
To summarize the story, Eastside Catholic was/is a mediocre high school football team in a mediocre division in a bad state as far as high school football is concerned. rumor has it each player on this team had to pay upwards of $100 towards the creation of this. Needless to say this provided endless motivation for other teams, culminating in our team’s (who were actually even worse than eastside) QB yelling “Who hits like us” and snapping the ball while the O-line yelled nobody.
here was the next years attempt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifr3r4i9TBQ
July 9th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
65
NewAZTiger says:
#37, Fuck Baltimore.
July 9th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
66
NewAZTiger says:
#60, I have it on good authority that EDSBSMD is the name of Kenny Irons’ midget.
July 9th, 2007 at 6:08 pm
67
baconboy says:
Regarding the “making of video”…Now I’m not sure who the bigger tools are, the kids or the producers.
July 9th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
68
dannybonadouchey says:
These are the kinda fellas that really know what sodomy is all about. Taking it in the ass like a champ!
July 9th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
69
Justin Cliburn says:
Am I the only one who noticed the Sockers video is produced by KTTY TV . . . Channel 69?
Kitty . . . Pussy
Pussy . . . Soccer
Soccer . . . Gay
69 . . . Gay Soccer Sex
July 9th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
70
Jorgé the Bass Player says:
Aaron Carter Productions presents:
Vinnie Vaseline and and the Anal Rangers
I love the cheap guitar.
July 10th, 2007 at 9:10 am