TOO MANY HEADLINE POSSIBILITIES…
When sitting at home, thinking about the most juvenile possible EDSBS headlines we could possibly write, it came down to one day dream. We knew we couldn’t force South Carolina to play Southern Cal…, so our best bet was the USC/OSU match up. But could Oregon State possibly be the team to end USC’s regular season and Pac 10 streaks??????
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 Well, it happened and we couldn’t narrow down the headline choices to one. I mean, “Trojans Busted, Beavers Responsible” is good and all, but is it a clear winner over “Beavers Turn Back Trojans In The End”… or “Trojans Denied By Beavers”… or “Beavers Defense To Tight For Trojans”. … or ”Impotent Trojans Can’t Penatrate Beavers”. How could we possibly choose? Oh yea, and it was like totally the biggest upset of the season and could lead the BCS into controversy…. but its really all about the juvenile wise cracks for us.
1
Remember, USC plays USC to start the College basketball season, so you should keep some in stock for then.
“Trojans’ offense batted away from Beavers, unable to convert.”
Comment by USCLink — October 30, 2025 @ 12:10 am
2
THE ZOMBIE’S FINALLY DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!! Oregon State took a chainsaw to that SOB.
I shouldn’t hate USC this much. It can’t be healthy.
Comment by j.j. — October 30, 2025 @ 12:27 am
3
Thank you Beavers!
Comment by ANnArborIsAWhore — October 30, 2025 @ 12:38 am
4
How about
“Fiesty Beavers fend off broken Trojans”
Comment by Uncle Smokey Stank — October 30, 2025 @ 12:40 am
5
“Trojans busted as they try to come from behind”
Comment by Rob G — October 30, 2025 @ 12:44 am
6
Make that
“Trojans busted as they try to take Beavers from behind”
Comment by Rob G — October 30, 2025 @ 12:45 am
7
“Late Trojan thrust falls flat, can’t overcome tough Beavers”
Comment by DisplacedTexan — October 30, 2025 @ 12:46 am
8
Yes, while drinking after the Tech game this made for some fun comments. My favorite “Shocking result” Beavers get off in the end, trojans left unsatisfied.”
Who can’t wait for SC to play USC in b-ball this year? They should broadcast it just for the novelty.
Comment by Sherlock's sidekick — October 30, 2025 @ 12:54 am
9
USC already played USC in football back when USC won 3 Heisman’s in a row - both of them.
Yes that sentence was fucked up. It’s almost as fucked up as losing to a team in a town that sounds like the name of a 70’s automobile.
Comment by SeaTrojan — October 30, 2025 @ 1:50 am
10
Was everyone else as disappointed as I was when they saw that this was the only story filed under the tag “Beaver jokes”?
Comment by Wes — October 30, 2025 @ 1:50 am
11
that serna guy is still the kicker. i bet he still hears the sound of the post at night. “sploooooooong”
Comment by S — October 30, 2025 @ 3:03 am
12
I’d go with “Beaver’s defense too tight for Trojans, Booty left unsastified”
And Southern Cal, South Carolina, and Oregon State should have to play a three way round robin every year. They could even have a special trophy for any team that sweeps, like the acadamies’ CiC trophy.
Comment by Palpie — October 30, 2025 @ 3:49 am
13
“USC too short for Beavers.”
Comment by U-Dub Dish — October 30, 2025 @ 3:55 am
14
trojan booty can’t lick the beaver
Comment by lola — October 30, 2025 @ 5:11 am
15
Twisted, juvenile minds clearly think alike. Before seeing this post, I too was working away at the headline for this story: Beavers Withstand Assault By Trojans
Although it’s not a competition — actually, I guess it is a competition — in the early voting Sherlock is looking good. But then again, don’t Trojans always leave us somewhat unsatisfied?
Comment by Allaha — October 30, 2025 @ 7:13 am
16
Beavers Give Trojans a Bath With Their Socks On
Comment by Grant — October 30, 2025 @ 8:13 am
17
“Beavers swallow Trojans whole, spit out sloppy mess”
“Trojan Attack Ends Prematurely, Surprisingly, Beavers still happy.”
Comment by NewAZTiger — October 30, 2025 @ 8:38 am
18
I would like to volunteer to comfort and console any Song Girls upset by the loss.
Comment by zibby — October 30, 2025 @ 9:06 am
19
Trojans Take It To Beavers But Beavers Push Back
Beavers Withstand Trojan Thrust
Beavers Come Away Winners Over Trojans
Trojans Denied In New Beaver (stadium)
Trojans Come Happy, Leave Wilted - Beavers Prevail
Beavers Slide Over Trojans
Comment by Crabapple Buck — October 30, 2025 @ 9:16 am
20
Has it gotten this bad? Your first post about the weekend isn’t a rub it in post about 15 / 17, but a post thinking up juvenile headlines?
Have the Bulldawgs fallen that far in your eyes? That’s depressing
Comment by Darkknight — October 30, 2025 @ 9:55 am
21
“Beavers slide over Trojans”
I believe we have a winner.
Comment by NewAZTiger — October 30, 2025 @ 10:15 am
22
Hate to get away from the Beaver-Trojan jokes, but did anyone else notice that Colt McCoy has a special water bottle on the sidelines?
One of the UT assistants had a bunch of Gatorade bottles but pulled out some special four-oz. bottle for Colt. I’m sure its filled with the water of the lake McCoy saved a man’s life in, but I’m still disappointed in Colt.
Comment by AUAlum — October 30, 2025 @ 10:21 am
23
“Oregon Beavers deny SoCal Surfers”
Comment by Futbawl Fan — October 30, 2025 @ 10:34 am
24
Oh yeah… and the small print headline…
Beavers to play with Carolina Cocks in post season..
Comment by Futbawl Fan — October 30, 2025 @ 10:36 am
25
Good headlines guys. A few years ago the Portland paper THE OREGONIAN actually ran the headline ‘Trojans stuff Beavers’.
USC looses, and Temple wins? Wow!
Now only if My beavers can get to a bowl.
Comment by tzubear — October 30, 2025 @ 10:37 am
26
To the USC fans in attendance… we greatly respect your program which is why this win is so big. As I said above, now the Beavs need a bowl. Say what you want about ‘the poodle’ all you detractors wish he was your coach. Jim Beseda of THE OREGONIAN says it best.
-USC coach Pete Carroll, who like Riley is one of the game’s truly nice people, actually said the following to L.A. media after the Trojans blew their BCS title hopes all to hell with four turnovers. … “This is a great day for Oregon State’s football team. My hat is off to Mike. … I thought they did a great job. They played great the whole day and they did a bunch of stuff that we wish we could have done.”
Comment by tzubear — October 30, 2025 @ 10:57 am
27
“Corso (Once Again) Mistakenly Chooses Booty Over Beavers”
Comment by PW — October 30, 2025 @ 11:17 am
28
“Trojans’ Attempt Comeback in Beavers’ Zone, Denied by [Reservoir] Tip.”
Comment by DC Trojan — October 30, 2025 @ 11:42 am
29
Re: #26
I can think of at least one school who doesn’t really wish they had Pete Carroll as their head coach.
(hint: He was on 60 Minutes last night)
Comment by Wooderson — October 30, 2025 @ 12:40 pm
30
Greetings from the land of Beaver Stadium, Beaver Avenue, Beaver Hall, Beaver Terrace…
Well done Oregon State.
“Beavers tighten as Trojans beat themselves”
Comment by PSUgirl — October 30, 2025 @ 12:58 pm
31
Trojans Needlessly Pull Out Early
Beavers Snatch Victory
Trojans Hand Balls To Beavers All Afternoon, Leave Exhausted
Comment by PDXGoneGator — October 30, 2025 @ 1:08 pm
32
“Southern Cal tries unsuccessfully to have sex with Oregon State…” How’s that?
Comment by LSUfan — October 30, 2025 @ 2:33 pm
33
“Beavers clamp down on Trojans.”
That is all. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
Comment by darthgatorone — October 30, 2025 @ 2:52 pm
34
Hey PM…
“Corso mistakenly chooses Booty over Beavers”
That’s the one.
Comment by fresh — October 30, 2025 @ 3:01 pm
35
“Beavers jump on Trojans early, hold on to ride to victory”
Comment by Nate — October 30, 2025 @ 6:53 pm
36
Believe it or Not Dept:
Reading some of the Beaver/Trojan ‘headlines’ is making me laugh and taking some of the sting out of the awful loss. Actually, I might add my own……
Comment by Stacy Keibler Loves Me — October 30, 2025 @ 6:59 pm
37
How ’bout this one:
The Trojans Bent until they Broke against the Rancid Smelling Beavers
Comment by Stacy Keibler Loves Me — October 30, 2025 @ 7:02 pm
38
As a fan of the vanquished party, I’ll self-anoint myself judge. DC Trojan and OC phil can make it a tribunal if they like.
1. PDXGoneGator #31- nice job.
2. tie- LSufan #32, fresh #34 - EDSBS steak knives, if they make ‘em.
Comment by SeaTrojan — October 30, 2025 @ 7:04 pm
39
Question???
I have read a lot of stuff about Lee Corso being a gay so and so…
Why does he get a lot of this type of attention and not every other sports joker out there in broadcasting land?
I think I missed the Memo on this one….Would appreciate the info….
Comment by Stacy Keibler Loves Me — October 30, 2025 @ 7:19 pm
40
“Southern Cal tries unsuccessfully to have sex with Oregon State…†How’s that?
I think that’s called a “single entendre”
Comment by Simmo79 — October 30, 2025 @ 7:37 pm
41
How ’bout this one - Part 2:
Beavers Borrow Corso’s Merkin…..
Can Not be Penetrated by Trojans
Comment by Stacy Keibler Loves Me — October 30, 2025 @ 7:41 pm
42
Trojans bend, break; Beavers still satisified
Comment by NoVaDamer — October 30, 2025 @ 9:57 pm
43
Corso’s not gay. He just acts that way to pick up chicks (like Mr Garrison). Haven’t you heard the slow jam? Orson, by the way, that’s the best song you’ve ever recorded.
Comment by j.j. — October 30, 2025 @ 9:57 pm
44
By the way, in terms of romantic songs, the Orson Swindle Lee Corso Slo Jam is second in my book only to R Kelly’s Piss On You. Women’s knees get weak at the thought of Corso nekkid.
Comment by j.j. — October 30, 2025 @ 10:01 pm
45
As a fan of the vanquished party, I’ll self-anoint myself judge. DC Trojan and OC phil can make it a tribunal if they like.
I’m inclined to reverse the rankings but not if it’s going to mean more billboards over split championships.
Comment by DC Trojan — October 31, 2025 @ 11:48 am
46
We’ll have to consult the computer rankings.
Comment by SeaTrojan — October 31, 2025 @ 1:01 pm
47
Nine out of ten Beavers prefer LifeStyles and Ramses over Trojans.
Comment by The Duke of Wazzu — November 1, 2025 @ 9:03 pm
48
Great headlines for a rare occurence that happens about as often as the return of Halley’s comet (i.e. Beavers swallowing the Trojan).
And now for some historical perspective from a 57-9 Pac10 “rivalry” (choose your favorite):
Trojans stuff Beavers (actual headline one year from the Oregonian)
Trojans give it to the Beavers again
Trojans work over Beavers
Beavers unable to stop Trojan attack
Beavers give it up in the end as Trojans prevail
Beavers in a fog as Trojans come from behind (should have been the 2004 headline for the famous fog game)
Add to the list!
Let’s face it, the headlines are better when USC wins.
Comment by PCB — November 7, 2025 @ 1:09 am