CURIOUS INDEX, 5/2/2025
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SURRENDER BEGINS IN LOWER CASE. Now here’s a political candidate we can get behind. The minute you stop writing upper case YOU SURRENDER! Dick: grew. We thought with the sadness of the Orgeron leaving, this blog would shrivel to an undersized, flaccid organ of the evil, dedicated-to-cruelty online media. Ah, but thanks to Bobby Petrino and Casey Dick, we have a new swelling of pride that’s got the whole neighborhood talking. Dick, who has consistently been one of the SEC’s most inaccurate passers the last couple of years, will be depended on heavily. “He grew tremendously in the spring,” Petrino said of Dick. It’s the Enzyte offense, and it’s here to penetrate your offense like nothing you’ve ever seen before. They’ll go deep. They’ll work the middle and the sidelines. They’ll go up the middle with power before-gotcha-shocking you by exploding all over the backfield with sweeps. We can do this for the next 14 months or so if you like and it will never, never get old. Not to us, at least. AAAHGGG, MAH CONFEDRUT VIKTRY FARR-STIX! Georgia moves to ban smoking at Sanford Stadium. Cancer is a democratic right, dammit. Perhaps the only time the Economist will be linked here: Buzz, newspapers aren’t just dying because they suck. They’re also dying because the economy sucks, too. Nick Saban shall not be published. Football Diet went to Nick Saban’s Huntsville booster visit and heard this: He was clearly not happy with the published reports of his private comments during his Crimsom Revival stops at Dothan and Talladega earlier last week and this week; he told the media present that if he saw his visit mentioned or if any of his remarks were printed or recorded in any form, he would not return to Huntsville to speak again. And then he wrote it on his blog. ONE HUNDRED COCKTAILS to you, sir. |
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1
Jesus, that candidate needs a spell checker. Thank you, Jesus!
Comment by AllWhoYonder — May 2, 2025 @ 9:43 am
2
It will never get old to me, either, Orson.
Comment by Carlinthemarlin — May 2, 2025 @ 9:49 am
3
Will Nick Saban be at Bama long enough to return to Huntsville?
Comment by Crabapple Buck — May 2, 2025 @ 9:50 am
4
I personally think it’s a little too soon for humor.
I think we’re all still mourning the Perrilloux news. Still hurts.
Comment by ThreenOut — May 2, 2025 @ 9:55 am
5
That article about smoking is incorrect…you can still smoke in “designated areas” of the stadium at Florida…or as we like to call them…”UF’s contribution to accelerating the eventuality of Yankee youngsters being graced with the ability to play sports outside year-round aka how the Big Ten finally achieved something close to ess-eee-see speed”.
http://scienceu.fsu.edu/content/tobaccoyou/enviroment/docs/globalwarming.html
Comment by zzgator — May 2, 2025 @ 9:58 am
6
My goodness, it’s like Gene Ray, the Time Cube guy, is running for office or something.
And for a second there, I thought you were saying that the Economist posted a link to this site. That would make this an even stranger day indeed.
Comment by Dave — May 2, 2025 @ 9:59 am
7
That candidate is awesomely nuts! The cherry on top: you give him a beard and he looks just like Walter Sobchak.
Here’s Townsend:
http://www.sessionsisasissy.com/images/mark1.jpg
Here’s Walter:
http://www.chefrocker.com/walter/walter01.jpg
Freaky….
Comment by August West — May 2, 2025 @ 10:03 am
8
“Sir -
Newspapers (leader, May 1st) would thrive were it not for the rise of troglodyte shitheads who write blogs and can’t manage to finish a fucking sentence without using goddamn profanity. First Amendment, my ass.
Yours,
B.Bissinger”
Comment by DevilGrad — May 2, 2025 @ 10:07 am
9
nice, newspapers just like ordinary folks, clinging to their print editions, guns, and religion editors….
WHOOO elect-ability
Comment by Jon — May 2, 2025 @ 10:25 am
10
#1 - I agree, but I’m not sure that even a spell checker would catch what he did to the word “stole.” He’s writing as he speaks. None of this elitist proper english bs!
Too bad about Sanford. They had pushed us to the outside rows already. The wife is going to be VERY upset with this. It’s harder to avoid smoking bans than drinking bans; you can’t put a burning cigarette in a zip loc bag and tape it to your thigh.
Comment by OhioDawg — May 2, 2025 @ 10:30 am
11
Did you mean the pulsating, throbing offense would penetrate the middle of our DEFENSE? [everone else must have been caught up in the moment and overlooked this. BOB pointed it out to me; I won't tell you what he used as a pointer].
Comment by Sundawg — May 2, 2025 @ 10:32 am
12
You know the irony of comparing Saban to Hitler is that he spoke at the Von Braun Center in Huntsville. Von Braun worked under Hitler during WW2 developing the V2 Rocket using Nazi Slave Labor.
Comment by waynebradywillchokeabitch — May 2, 2025 @ 10:33 am
13
Sir -
I’d like to apologize for my intemperate remarks (Letters, May 1st). Anyone who knows me, knows that I feel very passionate about the subject of newspapers, but I could have been more measured in my response to your leader.
Still, the fact remains that it’s easy to be all calm and superior when you only have to publish once a week, you lazy tea-sipping turd-burgling limey bastards. See: I’m getting all passionate again.
I guess that some of you might not be that way, but I don’t want anyone to think that I’m an expert on limp-wristed Limey writers - that would be pathetic.
Yours,
Buzz Bissinger.
Comment by DC Trojan — May 2, 2025 @ 10:33 am
14
#10 - I know it must be frustrating that something you choose to do that is not illegal keeps getting banned in more and more places. However people like me who, through no choice of our own, were born with respiratory issues really do appreciate the clear air.
Comment by Dave — May 2, 2025 @ 10:46 am
15
A.) Mark Townsend is my new hero… I am so fucking proud… honestly, I’d take anyone over Sessions at this point. The man can’t find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight.
2.) Someone needs to tell the guys over at Football Diet that nobody takes posts with Hitler comparisons seriously anymore. I’m sure the education they received at Auburn (only bama poly guys use the term spuat) clearly wouldn’t have prepared them for that fact.
Comment by PeterPumpkinhead — May 2, 2025 @ 10:51 am
16
O, surely you did not link the thesis of Mr.Townsend from Haleyville “by God” Alabama for us to make snide comments and juvenile witticisms.
I know you are above that.
His presentation was a little rambling at times, but to link the NCAA, 9/11, tornadoes during the War of 1812, bombardier beetles, dead babies thrown on the floor by Iraqi troops and evolution is indeed a tall order.
Think you could do better? HAH!
Comment by hunglikehussain — May 2, 2025 @ 10:58 am
17
Sundawg @ #11…if it was correctly “offense” it would imply another version of “cockfight”…and USCe would be getting some gratuitous credit, which I’m certain, is no one’s intent…
Comment by sb — May 2, 2025 @ 11:02 am
18
THREADJACK!
Entire ASU cheerleading squad cut after (non)-”racy” pictures posted online.
Lame.
[/Threadjack]
Comment by Aerobab — May 2, 2025 @ 11:51 am
19
Aerobab @ 18 - excellent, I see our plan to systematically remove cheerleaders from the rest of the Pac 10 is underway. Agent Love has done well.
Comment by DC Trojan — May 2, 2025 @ 12:23 pm
20
Is it Fred or Lamont Sanford Stadium?
Comment by yoyofutbawl — May 2, 2025 @ 12:24 pm
21
That doesn’t alter the fact that newspapers suck.
Comment by Techie — May 2, 2025 @ 12:31 pm
22
Perrillioux dismissed. Check.
ASU cheerleaders dismissed. Check.
More chicanery to follow.
/Happy Dawg that bought a voodoo spell book in New Orleans.
Comment by hunglikehussain — May 2, 2025 @ 12:41 pm
23
Good lord what a great candidate. Best argument:
A. In America the gambling business is over 200 billion dollars per year.
B. Marines started Toys For Tots.
So, OBVIOUSLY, we need to get rid of the ncaa
Comment by 3rd — May 2, 2025 @ 1:29 pm
24
If there is any justice in this world, Ole Miss will face off against Oregon State or USCw in a bowl game. Imagine the possibilities!
Comment by gosouthgohard — May 2, 2025 @ 2:09 pm
25
1) You couldn’t get Jeff Sessions out of office with dynamite. He’s probably one of the top 5 politicans in the GOP, along with Bobby Jindal. It is appropriate though that the crazed lunatic conspiracy theorist is a democrat.
2) I have found one glaring difference between bloggers and the media: Ethics. For 95% of the media, if someone says “This is off the record” or “Don’t publish this” before the guy says it, that means you don’t publish it. For bloggers, they think ethics are people of other races that are intellectually inferior.
Not trying to shit in Orson’s cornflakes, as his blog is a very good one. However, encouraging horse shit like what came from Mr. Football Diet is what gives blogging a bad name.
Comment by Steve — May 2, 2025 @ 2:44 pm
26
I find it curious that the AZ cheerleaders have more skin covered per square inch wearing panties and bras than in some cheering uniforms and most swim suits, yet get suspended for this picture? I mean, the one whose bra and panties don’t match should be let go, but not the rest.
Comment by Sundawg — May 2, 2025 @ 3:06 pm
27
@25
Some would consider those without a sense of humor “intellectually inferior”
Comment by Thor — May 2, 2025 @ 3:18 pm
28
#27
I assume you are speaking of Mr. Football Diet? Because he has no sense of humor as far as I can see. Was his blog supposed to be funny?
Comment by Madison — May 2, 2025 @ 7:28 pm