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CURIOUS INDEX, 5/2/2008

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SURRENDER BEGINS IN LOWER CASE. Now here's a political candidate we can get behind. The minute you stop writing upper case YOU SURRENDER!

Dick: grew. We thought with the sadness of the Orgeron leaving, this blog would shrivel to an undersized, flaccid organ of the evil, dedicated-to-cruelty online media. Ah, but thanks to Bobby Petrino and Casey Dick, we have a new swelling of pride that's got the whole neighborhood talking.

Dick, who has consistently been one of the SEC's most inaccurate passers the last couple of years, will be depended on heavily.

"He grew tremendously in the spring," Petrino said of Dick.

It's the Enzyte offense, and it's here to penetrate your offense like nothing you've ever seen before. They'll go deep. They'll work the middle and the sidelines. They'll go up the middle with power before--gotcha--shocking you by exploding all over the backfield with sweeps. We can do this for the next 14 months or so if you like and it will never, never get old. Not to us, at least.

AAAHGGG, MAH CONFEDRUT VIKTRY FARR-STIX! Georgia moves to ban smoking at Sanford Stadium. Cancer is a democratic right, dammit.

Perhaps the only time the Economist will be linked here: Buzz, newspapers aren't just dying because they suck. They're also dying because the economy sucks, too.

Nick Saban shall not be published. Football Diet went to Nick Saban's Huntsville booster visit and heard this:

He was clearly not happy with the published reports of his private comments during his Crimsom Revival stops at Dothan and Talladega earlier last week and this week; he told the media present that if he saw his visit mentioned or if any of his remarks were printed or recorded in any form, he would not return to Huntsville to speak again.

And then he wrote it on his blog. ONE HUNDRED COCKTAILS to you, sir.