EDSBS MOST SUPREME NUTRITIONAL SUPPLEMENT TASTE CHALLENGE: PROTEIN DELITE COOKIES
In part two of a series, Orson goes where few dare: the bargain aisle of your local GNC/Legal ‘roids shop, in a series that owes everything to the legendary “Steve, Don’t Eat It†segments from The Sneeze.
We comb the aisles of your local GNC looking for the worst abortions of scientific nutrition so you don’t have to, dear reader, in the second part of our extremely sporadic feature…
EDSBS MOST SUPREME NUTRITIONAL SUPPLEMENT TASTE CHALLENGE
Item: Protein Delite Cookies. It’s so good, you won’t even be able to spell correctly. We bought the chocolate “chip” and peanut butter variety for experimental validity to make sure that all varieties were equally inedible, but opted out of the oatmeal raisin since raisins, by even our liberal definition, are not “food.”
But my, that’s some dynamic, manly block lettering on that package. It’s not just 25 grams of protein unless it announces it in a starburst, as if it were literally bursting out of the package.
Protein-rich cookies. You know this was a good idea.
Initial Impressions. Caught our eye for the simple fact that anything advertising itself as “the best tasting protein supplement snack” begs for testing. Kicks prior contestant “Sylvester Stallone’s Power Pudding” for total protein by 5 whole grams, 20 to 25. We also note a disturbing trend among power foods: like Power Pudding, Protein Delites feel like they’ve been made with added ununoctium or some other superheavy element previously only observable under carefully controlled laboratory conditions.
On opening, the disturbingly heavy cookies smell faintly of whey protein, an odor not unlike that of fresh Play-Doh. (more…)
