We're playing this as hard as we can for you right now, Dave Wannstedt. You can't leave us: not now, not when we've only begun to appreciate your ability to coach any team, no matter how talented or lacking, into a uniform 8-5ish mess. Not when we've only just begin to appreciate your sly cock of the hip, your befuddled glances, your bitch punting on 4th and 1 on the opponent's 35 yard line. It's all just starting to make sense to us. Of course, when the Hurricanes hire you as their next head coach, this will all come back to us in a heartbeat, and thus open up the only man to properly follow up Wannstedt: DICK JAURON. You know it's inevitable, and therefore need to prepare yourself for it while you can.

See what swag each bowl game dishes out to the players. A couple "would not disclose" their packages, so I assume that's because they are illegal and/or distasteful.

This week is mostly just saying that Cam Newton is on God Mode most of the time, and on Angry God Mode the rest of the time, and making a Joust joke because it's our last real opportunity to do so with the impending departure of Colin Kaepernick.

Throw a snowball, meet an over-aggressive campus cop without anything better to do.

Any lascivious innuendoes with Cammy Cam Juice were just annihilated by this t-shirt. (HT: Brandon Cox's Vagina.)

It appears that Spurrier and Chizik have entered big head mode from Goldeneye.

That sounded a bit too much like a Bud Light ad for our tastes, but the fact remains that Keeley's weekly College Football Buffet is both open for business and worthy of a visit. Belly up.

Alabama fan is pissed. May want to use headphones, or low volume, if at work or around children. Kind of amazing though.

That is the proper way to write up a quarterbacking transfer, Corn Nation. We also know about the John Brantley rumors too, but don't have anything like even a disreputably reputable source to back them up, and will for the moment label them bullshit. If bullshit becomes truth: would missing a net on-field negative really be a loss at all? #sadpainfulthingstosay