URBAN MEYER IS TESTING YOU, SON.
Urban Meyer has ways of testing his recruits. Sometimes, he tells them that they’re being recruited as linebackers just for funzies. Other times, he tells them that they’ll play this position called “running back, which has not in fact ever existed at the University of Florida in his tenure. And sometimes, just to test their mettle, he punches them in the chest the first time he meets them.
“He’s kind of rough,” Reid said with a laugh. “He’s not the type of coach to shake your hand. He just comes up and punches you in the chest. And that man is pretty strong.”
The fact that Reid is even talking is strong evidence he’ll get a scholarship. Some recruits don’t survive the first test, or even the second (The Flinging of the Nettles and Broken Glass), or dare we say, the unholy third (The Marriage of the Bear and the Tear Gas.) And that’s all before you arrive in Alpha Room for summary judgment by the Masked Eight and the Chubby Man.
You may think you know fear. You have not been to Alpha Room. HT: Barstoolio.
42 Replies »
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@19
He’s not fat, he’s BIG BONED!!!!
Not.
Comment by Barkin' Dawg — October 23, 2025 @ 8:50 pm
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@8, how’s the fat man and his “decided schematic advantage” working out for ya?
By “fat,” I mean a euphemism for a disgusting, pig-like, morbidly obese fat body.
Comment by DHC — October 23, 2025 @ 6:20 pm
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@17 I don’t know about you but that shit scared the hell out of me when I was a kid.
Comment by BurritoBrosShits — October 23, 2025 @ 6:07 pm
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Man, Raiders 2 really sucked like few things have sucked since. Don’t know if any of you followed that link to the human-sacrifice-pull-out-the-still-beating-heart schtick, but even as a kid, i thought that the witch doctor guy looked too much like Abe Vigoda to be truly menacing.
Comment by PDXgonegator — October 23, 2025 @ 5:39 pm
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Hey guess what? I go to a school better than all of the others mentioned so far in this comment thread! But we don’t have football. So STFU and eat your pie. I can’t believe y’all are talking about academics in the same breath as college football. Has nothing to with the post at all and makes this sound worse than a Rivals board. FOOTBALL, NOT ACADEMICS.
Comment by BurritoBrosShits — October 23, 2025 @ 5:22 pm
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i stand partially corrected — the point of my post is that Florida DOES have higher academic standards than most other D1 schools.
We aren’t Auburn or LSU down here.
Comment by gator growl — October 23, 2025 @ 4:29 pm
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I’m sorry… the last line of my last comment was directed to #8.
Comment by CincySooner — October 23, 2025 @ 4:02 pm
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hey #11… yeah… you gotta read the whole article… even the footnotes and the sidebars.
Notre Dame owns the rest of the BCS schools in that regard.
Now, that being said… you’re telling me you wouldnt be just a little excited if Urban got on a plane to coach at Notre Dame tomorrow? Gimme a break.
Comment by CincySooner — October 23, 2025 @ 3:59 pm
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#11. um…you are moron.
Notre Dame is at 98%. Which is actually higher than 68%.
Comment by tbone — October 23, 2025 @ 3:54 pm
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# 8 = you are a moron
Florida does have academic standards — see Dee Finley not qualifying this year and our overall academic standing. We also are number 8 overall in terms of graduating student athletes in the whole country. http://usatoday.com/sports/college/2008-10-14-grad-rates_N.htm where is Notre Dame?
We just don’t have religious or moral standards — see Chris Rainey and all the white girls he’s left in his wake. But who need morals these days anyways.
Comment by Gator Growl — October 23, 2025 @ 3:21 pm