SLOW NEWS DAY: TAKE THIS TIME TO PURGE.
In lieu of refunding everyone’s daily subscription fees for what’s turning out to be the first letdown day following the OMG GREATEST FOOBAW WEEKEND EVAR 2K8, we’re taking a step back. There’s absolutely nothing interesting happening today, so we’re focusing inward and using this time to improve ourselves as fans by confessing our greatest cardinal football sins. We surveyed ourselves, fellow bloggers just as strapped for content as we are this afternoon, and a few intrepid commenters. The following is our preliminary list of trespasses against our fellow man, our school loyalty, and in several cases against humanity itself.
Forgive me father, for I enjoy the sounds of “Rocky Top”.
ORSON, Florida: “I like Georgia’s colors.”
HOLLY, Tennessee: “I think the recitation of Neyland’s Maxims is one of the dumber traditions in college football and would like nothing better than to see it scrapped.”
PB, Texas: “I don’t hate Kirk Herbstreit like I should. It’s pitiful. He has some weird charisma that overwhelms my rational mind. Maddening.”
SIGNAL TO NOISE, USC: “I’ve started to hate Mark Sanchez. I was uneasy with it; there was something I couldn’t place. I was kind of “well, he’s the QB of the team I root for,” but when the announcers last week compared him to Vince from Entourage, my hate made sense.”
ROCKABYE REGGIE NELSON, Florida: “I prefer games on TV to games in person.”
WORSTFAN, Ohio State: “I want Ohio State to lose again, so I can stop trying to rationalize how they still deserve to be in consideration to be “in it”. I say this as a holder of two Ohio State degrees and former 5 year resident of the 43210.”
BURRITOBROSSHITS, Florida: “Feigning love for the Buckeyes to get laid. Actually worked but I felt really dirty and guilty afterwards. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, though, so I just bounced.”
MONDAY MORNING PUNTER, Ohio State: “Daryll Clark is the man! He strikes me as the kind of guy that could take a girl out to a nice dinner the one minute and then toss her down a flight of stairs the next.”
LT. WINSLOW, Miami: “Fuck it. I don’t regret it. I shared a brief, romantic moment with my coke-whore ex girlfriend’s best friend inside the privacy of a stall in the women’s bathroom in the west endzone of the Orange Bowl at the ‘06 Miami-FSU game. There were little teardrop shaped titties and a baggie of white powder and I’d do it again if I had the chance.”
We feel better already. Please, do join the purge party below with your worst transgressions.
348 Replies »
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Pages: « 35 34 33 32 [31] 30 29 28 27 26 25 … 1 » Show All
310
Another UM guy, this isnt all football
- Hockey is probably the best spectator sport in Ann Arbor
- Webber taking money killed my love of basketball
- I’ve partied and EMU and MSU to see their hotter women
- We do they key play thing, and its also lame
- If my PSU friend tries to bet me on the game this weekend as payback for the last 10 years, I wont take the point out of pride, even though I suspect a restaurant quality ass-beating
Comment by Just another Michigan Man — October 15, 2025 @ 1:11 pm
309
PalmettoCPA, Gamecock
1) I went to clemson games during high school, and had received housing/scholarships before I did an about-face and headed to Columbia. Don’t tell my friends. I even have pictures of myself wearing clemson garb that are hidden somewhere no one will ever find them.
2) I am jealous of every school with an on-campus stadium. Students driving to games just doesn’t seem right.
3) Some of our fanbase pisses me off with their overall lack of football knowledge. “Oh we’re running a no-huddle with 1 minute to go to win the game? Let’s cheer as loud as we can!”
4) Our band=weak
5) Tiger-rag…too damn catchy…Plus I’m always impressed when a fanbase wears consistent colors, USC fans seem to think that yellow, green, and pink are acceptable for football games…
6) I refuse to pull for every other SEC school “because it makes the SEC look better”. Fuck that, you guys kick our ass year after year, I’d rather win a crappy conference than be 4th in the SEC east.
7) USC should be in the ACC, where we’d actually stand a chance at winning every few years…
ahh…that feels good to get off my chest.
Comment by PalmettoCPA — October 15, 2025 @ 1:09 pm
308
Jester, Pitt fan
I hate how I feel I am the biggest Pitt fan and there aren’t thousands like me.
Once I find out someone went to WVU I can’t take them serious bc of their lack of education, cleaniness, teeth and intelligence.
Once I find out someone went to PSU, I instantly think they are pompous and hate their attitude.
I really want Wanny to win just for the fact that he reminds me of myself.
Comment by jester — October 15, 2025 @ 12:56 pm
307
I begged RR to take me with him.
- NDGT
Comment by Noel Devine's Gold Teef — October 15, 2025 @ 12:56 pm
306
chi-town-Ohio State
-have the most irrational fanbase in the country
-hate the OH —-IO cheer!
-love rocky top and victors!
-peyton manning is one of my favorite QBs
-the SEC does have more speed!
-sometimes wish cooper were back beating the little guys 77-7!
It feels great to get it off my chest! And I do also kind of like Jesse Palmer! My god!!? it just keeps flowing out!
Comment by chi-town spieth — October 15, 2025 @ 12:54 pm
305
Bama Fan, part deaux:
-I wept when JPW threw the corner fade to Julio Jones as we went up 31-0 on Georgia at half in their blackened state of silence in their house… It was the pass I always knew he could complete when they put 8 in the box. I was proud. It came from being shocked, really drunk and in a glass case of emotion, being 10 mins removed from my wife telling me we were gonna have a girl in Feb. after having 2 boys prior, and betting on a 3rd…..(the previous 12 beers and a few Patron shots didnt help)
- I was a little worried about Auburn running the spread offense to begin with, but felt a little better when their starting QB was a Troy transfer with a bum shoulder.
- I fear that we are only 1-3 injuries away from a train wreck,or a derailment on this season…Terrence Cody, Andre Smith or Caldwell, anyone one of those guys get hurt or if all get hurt at one time and it all goes up in flames…..
- I wonder where that Florida team we saw the other night was when they played Michigan in the bowl game.
- I’d rather face Texas than Penn State.
Comment by Mr. Pelican Pants — October 15, 2025 @ 12:48 pm
304
1.) I have Bo Schembechler’s autobiography…and I enjoyed reading it
2.) I admire The U
3.) I want fans like Montana’s fans
4.) I like LSU’s band
5.) I rooted for UM in the Capital One Bowl
Comment by IdahoBuckeye — October 15, 2025 @ 12:47 pm
303
Strudel, Florida (twice) -
Even later to the party than most.
1. I really, really, really wanted to go to Georgia but they wouldn’t give me any money. The campus is gorgeous and Athens is the coolest college town ever.
2. I loathe the Orange-Blue and Gator Bait cheers and refuse to participate in either.
3. I kind of like that our fans are arrogant assholes — and I *love* the jingly key thing.
Comment by Toaster Strudel — October 15, 2025 @ 12:46 pm
302
tzubear, Oregon State(again)
1. I am still not comfortable with winning the Orange bowl under Erickson. I would rather have a solid and responsible program under Riley than Miami -west.
2. Uga is a cool name for Georgia’s mascot BECAUSE it’s campy.
3. I rooted for Steve Emtmann and the U-dub defence in ‘91
4. Most U of O students are in fact not hippies (that one hurt)
Samsquench @ 104- I was in school during that era. Simonton looked the same with/without pads. He was a 5′7″ brick.
Comment by tzubear — October 15, 2025 @ 12:42 pm
301
I don’t like going to football games at all. Large crowds of people make me long for napalm. Much prefer to watch on TV.
I’ve never really disliked anything about LSU.
Comment by Reasonable_Bama_Fan — October 15, 2025 @ 12:31 pm