SLOW NEWS DAY: TAKE THIS TIME TO PURGE.
In lieu of refunding everyone’s daily subscription fees for what’s turning out to be the first letdown day following the OMG GREATEST FOOBAW WEEKEND EVAR 2K8, we’re taking a step back. There’s absolutely nothing interesting happening today, so we’re focusing inward and using this time to improve ourselves as fans by confessing our greatest cardinal football sins. We surveyed ourselves, fellow bloggers just as strapped for content as we are this afternoon, and a few intrepid commenters. The following is our preliminary list of trespasses against our fellow man, our school loyalty, and in several cases against humanity itself.
Forgive me father, for I enjoy the sounds of “Rocky Top”.
ORSON, Florida: “I like Georgia’s colors.”
HOLLY, Tennessee: “I think the recitation of Neyland’s Maxims is one of the dumber traditions in college football and would like nothing better than to see it scrapped.”
PB, Texas: “I don’t hate Kirk Herbstreit like I should. It’s pitiful. He has some weird charisma that overwhelms my rational mind. Maddening.”
SIGNAL TO NOISE, USC: “I’ve started to hate Mark Sanchez. I was uneasy with it; there was something I couldn’t place. I was kind of “well, he’s the QB of the team I root for,” but when the announcers last week compared him to Vince from Entourage, my hate made sense.”
ROCKABYE REGGIE NELSON, Florida: “I prefer games on TV to games in person.”
WORSTFAN, Ohio State: “I want Ohio State to lose again, so I can stop trying to rationalize how they still deserve to be in consideration to be “in it”. I say this as a holder of two Ohio State degrees and former 5 year resident of the 43210.”
BURRITOBROSSHITS, Florida: “Feigning love for the Buckeyes to get laid. Actually worked but I felt really dirty and guilty afterwards. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, though, so I just bounced.”
MONDAY MORNING PUNTER, Ohio State: “Daryll Clark is the man! He strikes me as the kind of guy that could take a girl out to a nice dinner the one minute and then toss her down a flight of stairs the next.”
LT. WINSLOW, Miami: “Fuck it. I don’t regret it. I shared a brief, romantic moment with my coke-whore ex girlfriend’s best friend inside the privacy of a stall in the women’s bathroom in the west endzone of the Orange Bowl at the ‘06 Miami-FSU game. There were little teardrop shaped titties and a baggie of white powder and I’d do it again if I had the chance.”
We feel better already. Please, do join the purge party below with your worst transgressions.
348 Replies »
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Pages: « 35 34 33 32 31 [30] 29 28 27 26 25 … 1 » Show All
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Herb, NC State:
1) We hired the wrong guy; PJ will take GT to greatness.
2) UNC is a damn fine school and I have considered it for every degree I have considered.
3) I am ashamed of the number of fans we have with a UNC inferiority complex.
4) I don’t even really like basketball.
5) I puked in a bus coming back from a game and didn’t tell anyone.
6) I’ve skipped games I had tickets to and not even given them away.
Comment by Herb — October 15, 2025 @ 12:30 pm
299
I think Smokey is a really cute mascot…
Comment by g8rslm — October 15, 2025 @ 12:26 pm
298
Draw on 3rd and 16- Michigan Fan
1. I was adamant in getting a new coach. I wanted to trade up. Old girlfriend for new girlfriend. Tired and old for new and hot. Grind it out off tackle for 70 yd qb keepers and bubble screens. Despair for flash. I miss the old girlfriend and I think the new girlfriend might have crabs.
2. I think Joe Germaine was an absolutely bad ass and wish he went to UofM.
3. College football is the only sport that really matters. The NFL is barely watchable but they don’t pull any punches on character issues. They don’t give two shits if you have multiple DUIs, as long as you can stop the run. They don’t care if you beat your old lady, as long as you can cover. They don’t care if you sold coke to retarded elementary schools kids, as long as you can run. Big time college programs continue to feed me the same shit about these kids deserving 2nd chances and given the opportunity to mature as they grow into men. This is why they aren’t suspended for Saturday’s game. No, the reason Mack isn’t suspended is because he weighs 370 lbs. and is a fucking road grader for your all-conference tailback. Call a spade a spade. You are trying to win games at all costs.
4. B-52 fly-overs are the shit.
5. Not only is the War Eagle at Auburn cool, I deep down inside want one as a pet.
6. For the last 10 seconds during the App. State game I thought we were going to win and everything was going to be all right.
I’ve said too much.
Comment by Draw on 3rd and 16 — October 15, 2025 @ 12:24 pm
297
Oh, another thing, even though I have no reason to hate Va Tech:
The “Enter Sandman” entrance is the greatest team entrance in college football. Whoever thought it up should win a Nobel Prize in Awesome.
Comment by poguemahone — October 15, 2025 @ 12:19 pm
296
/Sneaking in the side door as the sermon ends
Walt, Cornell (FCS represent!)
- I don’t care that we were a relevant program 70 years ago.
- The 5th Down Game wasn’t a particularly noble gesture of sportsmanship.
- Ed Marinaro didn’t get jobbed out of the Heisman.
- They aren’t “student-athletes” here either.
Comment by Walt — October 15, 2025 @ 12:19 pm
295
UGA fan here…
I confess that I really like both USC and Meatchicken’s fight songs.
And I would brave Rocky Top if Neyland’s Maxims were replaced by “The Girls of Maxim”.
Comment by Will (the other one) — October 15, 2025 @ 12:18 pm
294
Jonathan - UGA
I always liked Spurrier and have found him to be funny and a good guy.
I too prefer to watch games at home on the couch - all the drinks I want, better food, no hassle of going anywhere, multiple games, and a warm puppy.
I am marrying a UF grad and find myself actually hoping they win games, not just acting like it (not the UGA game of course). They used to be the team I hated because of their fans in Jax… meeting the right fans can change your opinion of any team
and finally I am not sure the SEC is the best conference this year… yes I did just burst into flame upon typing that
Comment by Jonathan — October 15, 2025 @ 11:58 am
293
UF fan here…
1. Nothing is cooler than Touchdown Jesus at ND
2. The only cool thing about “We Are the Boys” is the “Go Gators” part. (And the standing/swaying part). The rest is stupid.
3. I love Steve Spurrier for renaming Florida field to The Swamp and will always root for USC - e (except when they play us)
4. OH - EE - OH (LSU’s now banned song) is frighteningly funny/good/scary when you are the visiting team/fan.
5. Bo Jackson was the best running back to come out of the SEC (sorry Emmitt)
Comment by hobeg8r — October 15, 2025 @ 11:51 am
292
UGA fan/alum and Catholic so this is almost spiritual:
-I thought when UTenn wore orange pants in the SECCG they looked pretty cool
-First game I ever went to was an Auburn home game where I rooted for Bo like a man possessed
-I like Auburn’s uniforms
-I like Tech’s Budweiser song
-I will never say anything bad about Eric Berry or Calvin Johnson
-UF’s and LSU’s home field advantage is better than UGA’s
-I find Spurrier amusing and don’t really hate him
-Peyton Manning is probably my favorite QB in the NFL
-Al Horford is my favorite NBA player
-I root for SEC teams in bowl games
-The Vol Navy is really impressive
-Alabama fans acted with suprising grace and class during the failed blackout and kept saying “We’ll see you in Atlanta in December”. I doubt UGA fans would have been as cool.
-Coach Richt’s hair is… never mind
-I don’t hate Tim Tebow.
-I grew up rooting for Tech and UGA and had a Lethal Weapon 3 (Kenny Anderson, Dennis Scott, and Brian Oliver) poster in my room. I cried when they lost to UNLV in the Final Four
-I frequently correct Dawg fans that UF and not UGA is the second best academic school in the SEC based on ratings by national publications.
-I applied to both Auburn and South Carolina
-I like SCAR’s 2001 intro
-I still can’t believe Aaron Murray didn’t pick UF and won’t feel 100% comfortable until Signing Day
-I felt bad for Tony Franklin getting canned so early
-I appreciate the fact that UF, UTenn, BAMA, SC, Vandy, and ARK have unique mascots
-I think Paul Johnson might be the perfect hire for Tech and I hate that.
WOW! That felt really good. Now some requisite smack talk so I don’t kill myself in shame. GO Dawgs - I hate the color orange and I hope Urban Meyer gets some rare form of bone cancer and pees shards of femur for a year before being killed by 1,001 carefully placed paper cuts and a bottle of bleach.
Now, I plan on saying 10 Our Fathers, 10 Hail Marys, and watch Munson highlights for one hour and then a replay of last year’s WLOCP. Amen.
Comment by Too chicken to post my real name, but a Dawg Fan — October 15, 2025 @ 11:46 am
291
Auburn fan:
Also,
- I like Tommy Tuberville and think he can fix things
- I think overall, the Big Ten(Eleven) has the best fight songs
- I think LSU’s purple jerseys are awesome
- I like Texas’ ‘Hook ‘em Horns’ hand sign
- I want to copy Texas A&Ms tradition of “When the Aggies score, everyone scores” where everyone kisses their date after a TD
- I think MSU cowbells are a good tradition
- I think FSU honors the Seminole tribe the correct way and all native americans should take note when protesting (like the Illini nation) Don’t like the tomahawk though, it reminds me of somethign from a 1950’s sci fi movie.
-I don’t check spelling before I post here, and don’t care to.
Comment by sevenDs — October 15, 2025 @ 11:33 am