SLOW NEWS DAY: TAKE THIS TIME TO PURGE.
In lieu of refunding everyone’s daily subscription fees for what’s turning out to be the first letdown day following the OMG GREATEST FOOBAW WEEKEND EVAR 2K8, we’re taking a step back. There’s absolutely nothing interesting happening today, so we’re focusing inward and using this time to improve ourselves as fans by confessing our greatest cardinal football sins. We surveyed ourselves, fellow bloggers just as strapped for content as we are this afternoon, and a few intrepid commenters. The following is our preliminary list of trespasses against our fellow man, our school loyalty, and in several cases against humanity itself.
Forgive me father, for I enjoy the sounds of “Rocky Top”.
ORSON, Florida: “I like Georgia’s colors.”
HOLLY, Tennessee: “I think the recitation of Neyland’s Maxims is one of the dumber traditions in college football and would like nothing better than to see it scrapped.”
PB, Texas: “I don’t hate Kirk Herbstreit like I should. It’s pitiful. He has some weird charisma that overwhelms my rational mind. Maddening.”
SIGNAL TO NOISE, USC: “I’ve started to hate Mark Sanchez. I was uneasy with it; there was something I couldn’t place. I was kind of “well, he’s the QB of the team I root for,” but when the announcers last week compared him to Vince from Entourage, my hate made sense.”
ROCKABYE REGGIE NELSON, Florida: “I prefer games on TV to games in person.”
WORSTFAN, Ohio State: “I want Ohio State to lose again, so I can stop trying to rationalize how they still deserve to be in consideration to be “in it”. I say this as a holder of two Ohio State degrees and former 5 year resident of the 43210.”
BURRITOBROSSHITS, Florida: “Feigning love for the Buckeyes to get laid. Actually worked but I felt really dirty and guilty afterwards. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, though, so I just bounced.”
MONDAY MORNING PUNTER, Ohio State: “Daryll Clark is the man! He strikes me as the kind of guy that could take a girl out to a nice dinner the one minute and then toss her down a flight of stairs the next.”
LT. WINSLOW, Miami: “Fuck it. I don’t regret it. I shared a brief, romantic moment with my coke-whore ex girlfriend’s best friend inside the privacy of a stall in the women’s bathroom in the west endzone of the Orange Bowl at the ‘06 Miami-FSU game. There were little teardrop shaped titties and a baggie of white powder and I’d do it again if I had the chance.”
We feel better already. Please, do join the purge party below with your worst transgressions.
348 Replies »
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Pages: « 35 … 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 [1] Show All
10
FUCK, i just thought of another confession. this one makes me feel really guilty and disloyal.
much as i miss the O.B., i gotta admit that i really like the fact that i get to see replays on that big-ass HD jumbotron now that we’re at dolphins stadium.
i’m sorry. i can’t help it.
Comment by lt.winslow — October 14, 2025 @ 4:04 pm
9
I second the sentiments of PB, Rockabye Reggie, and the lad giving confession in the photo.
Additionally, I think the quirkiness of LSU (white jerseys at home, numbers painted every five yards instead of ten on the field, double legged goal posts, BACs beyond normal human limits) is pretty damn cool.
Comment by Sue E. Pig — October 14, 2025 @ 4:04 pm
8
He’s the best player to ever put on an Arkansas uniform, but I cringed every time Darren McFadden spoke into a microphone.
Comment by Petrino's Bitch — October 14, 2025 @ 4:03 pm
7
I once declared my undying love for Taylor Bennett.
I too think the UGA colors look good…but only on convertibles.
I actually never had any respect for Larry Munson, even though I feigned it.
Comment by Brian — October 14, 2025 @ 4:02 pm
6
I enjoy listening to Sugar Ray. I deserve whatever I have coming to me.
Comment by Mätt — October 14, 2025 @ 4:01 pm
5
…..at the 2001 SEC Title Game between my beloved LSU and Tennessee I made my way to the mens room in the 2nd quarter and vomited all over my hands, LSu long sleeve t, and the Vol fan in front of me. I never apologized and ran away.
…and when I got back to my seat I told my friends that a Vol fan had puked on ME, thus forcing me to remove my outer layer of clothing.
god it felt good to tell that. Have told NO ONE until now.
So…skinny rat tail having Tenn fan-15 year old with tears in your eyes and my puke on your back…i’m sorry
Comment by CK — October 14, 2025 @ 4:00 pm
4
hlh, Georgia: I actually feel empathy for Coop and wish him and those defensive end thieves well. I also own a pair of jorts.
Comment by hlh — October 14, 2025 @ 3:59 pm
3
Additional confession: Despite extensive family connections in Texas, I thought Sam Bradford was cute for like a whole year before I saw his pores in HD.
Comment by Holly — October 14, 2025 @ 3:59 pm
2
I miss soulja boy.
I KNOW.
Comment by The Great Barstoolio — October 14, 2025 @ 3:57 pm
1
I am a die-hard Alabama fan, but I don’t own one thing with a houndstooth print on it.
Comment by Kyrana — October 14, 2025 @ 3:53 pm