DAN HAWKINS TO DEFEAT APARTHEID IN COLORADO
We really, really like Dan Hawkins, though it’s the kind of like you have for your daffiest professor or most energetic neighbor who, after completing their 5:00 a.m. run and eating their carefully measured breakfast of berries, whole grains, and egg whites, comes over to your house to bring you a perfectly carved Chinese dragon he whittled out of some driftwood he just had laying around the workshop, you know.
Hawkins spoke with the John Lynch Foundation in Denver on Wednesday at a even referred to in the Rocky Mountain News as “Lynchfest,” a name we guarantee you will never see for any event in Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and a number of other states. Hawkins announced not only that Colorado will win a national title, they will do it in holistic and non-apartheidish manner.
“One of my heroes is Nelson Mandela. He has a word, it’s called ubuntu. And ubuntu kind of embodies the whole mentality that we’re all in this thing together,” Hawkins told the group.
Wait, there’s this, too: Hawkins is into Linux! Internet libertarian Paultardian dorks, you have your football program chosen for you.
(HT: Matt.)
1
Soon Hawkins is going to be boogie boarding with Pete out on the astral plane.
Sounds like a cool event for all the Lynchbowski achievers.
Comment by oc phil — May 8, 2025 @ 10:48 am
2
Uh, Nelson looks pretty pleased with that enormous white pecker…
Comment by sb — May 8, 2025 @ 10:49 am
3
I’ll be very disappointed if there’s isn’t a play in the Colorado book called “Hardy Heron.”
Comment by DC Trojan — May 8, 2025 @ 10:56 am
4
I’m speechless. Does he think he is solving world problems coaching football? His program is number 3 on the Fulmer Cup board. Obviously, his new age crap isn’t working.
Comment by blon57 — May 8, 2025 @ 11:06 am
5
Internet libertarian Paultardian dorks, you have your football program chosen for you.
Until Hawkins tells us his stance on fiat currency, I’m going to withhold my support.
Comment by Chuck — May 8, 2025 @ 11:08 am
6
Thye day Colorado wins a second national championship is the day i eat my hat.
Comment by CincySooner — May 8, 2025 @ 11:09 am
7
Ubuntu has been a “team quote”/rallying cry for sports teams. I’ll bet if you talked to a Boise fan/player/supporter, he’ll give you a full-on etymology of the South African phrase.
Comment by Tsell — May 8, 2025 @ 11:17 am
8
Ubuntu? that’s intramural level crap. Real men run Gentoo. And here I thought this was DIVISION 1 FOOTBALL.
Comment by NDTom — May 8, 2025 @ 11:46 am
9
Not only does Nelson Mandela have that word, so do about 100 million other people. And get this: they call an egg mayai. Cheese is jibini. Boy, they have a different word for everything!
Comment by Chg — May 8, 2025 @ 11:59 am
10
Somebody channel Ross Barnett. And Sam Bowers too. Their ghosts can’t wait for next year’s Lynchfest.
Comment by yoyofutbawl — May 8, 2025 @ 12:06 pm
11
There’s an old joke with a punchline of “death by ubuntu”, isn’t there?
Comment by spartanmike — May 8, 2025 @ 12:06 pm
12
“Thye day Colorado wins a second national championship is the day i eat my hat” - cincysooner
Dan Hawkins assembled his finest Ubuntu for the OU “lynchfest” and dick sanding in 07.
Comment by Rashaan Salaam — May 8, 2025 @ 12:20 pm
13
Ahh, I see Mandela is a Hawkins fan as well. Hawk prolly snapped that photo right after 4:20 in Boulder - hence stoner grin, black and gold jacket.
Comment by Rashaan Salaam — May 8, 2025 @ 12:25 pm
14
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but the Dan Hawkins story has a BAAAAD ending. He’s nuts.
#9 - well said.
Comment by OhioDawg — May 8, 2025 @ 12:28 pm
15
Steve Spurrier runs slackware, not this noob shit.
Comment by woooooohooooooooo — May 8, 2025 @ 12:51 pm
16
Do all South Africans have to write with a pencil like that? I remember in kindergarten trying to write with a pencil that large, and it never made sense to me….small hands, large pencil, on paper that is toilet paper thin trying to write around the holes you have gouged into the desk and paper….and the eraser would literally take your skin off like some sort of sandpaper
Comment by Mr. Pelican Pants — May 8, 2025 @ 12:54 pm
17
Chg (@ 9), Hawkins is gonna make you wear the cruel shoes if you question heroes.
Comment by Unhappy Monkey — May 8, 2025 @ 1:00 pm
18
/yell “Klatu, Verata, Ubuntu!”
Comment by Exeter — May 8, 2025 @ 2:27 pm
19
Colorado recruits want to know what happened to the freeware?
Comment by Out of Conference — May 8, 2025 @ 2:55 pm
20
errr no need for the ? mark…. damn publik edukat.. educashu… skooling.
Comment by Out of Conference — May 8, 2025 @ 2:55 pm
21
Fair enough #12… yes OU lost to the buffs,
but do you really think CU will ever go undefeated in the Big XII??
Comment by CincySooner — May 8, 2025 @ 3:59 pm
22
@cincysooner:
can CU go undefeated in the b12? sure, why not?
zen master dan is on his own astral plane but he has the folks in boulder believing.
be the bow, cincy, not the arrow.
Comment by DieFuskerDie — May 8, 2025 @ 5:54 pm
23
Will Buff fans start breaking out into “Shosholoza” during game days? Pondering . . .
Comment by MCab — May 8, 2025 @ 6:37 pm
24
As long as L.A. has good college teams and Tex as well, he can’t recruit enough talent to win a 2nd nat’l champ on the Rocky’s east edge.
But he can lead the big 12 in herbal-enhanced verbiage.
Comment by geo-bevo — May 8, 2025 @ 7:39 pm
25
@ #16… Somewhere right now, Mandela is writing his autobiography on a Big Chief Tablet.
Comment by Flatlander — May 8, 2025 @ 10:13 pm
26
If you’re not in the BCS, you’re running Damn Small Linux
Comment by NewAZTiger — May 9, 2025 @ 6:35 am
27
Guess all the pot smoke in Boulder has some serious effects on coaching staffs. First it was Neuweasel, now Hawkins.
Comment by M — May 9, 2025 @ 12:47 pm
28
Mandela’s black and gold is not for CU, but for Alpha Phi Alpha. Ice ice baby, too cold, black and gold . . .
Comment by MCab — May 9, 2025 @ 5:02 pm