Last Friday, we forgot cheesecake. This is for a number of different factors. First, we’re running out of big-assed Latinas with public domain photos. (We don’t really care about this, but it’s nice to say you do.) Second, we get horrendously drunk every Friday at 1:00 p.m. and stick with the Rekjavik Weekend diet until 5:00 pm. Sunday, meaning typing gets really, really difficult around 3:00 p.m.

So accept this as the Redemption Edition, where we just post a bunch of pictures of hot ladies of the blonde persuasion-including Mena Suvari’s outstanding, natural ass. If you complain about any of these ladies anonymously on the internet, then you HAVE A HUGE COCK AND ARE OBVIOUSLY BEYOND WEALTHY. Please post your phone number with your negative comments so that ladies can contact you. (Not that you need it, awash as you are in model trim, stud!)

Blondes We Are Very Fond Of

Mena Suvari. Or at least one half of her.

Genevieve Gorder.

This is a terrible picture, but she can use a hammer, is curvy, and is tall and strong-looking enough to suggest that she’d be a fair tussle in the sack and a good plow woman on the back forty. Trust us: she’s a goddess with a tape measure.


Afterwards, she would redecorate your house and knock out those ugly ceiling fans.

Scarlett Johansson. She’s just ungodly beautiful. Everyone else likes her too, but sometimes large groups make correct decisions. Also in Lost in Translation, which we did not cry audibly and embarrassingly during at least three scenes. (Couldn’t hear! We were finishing reps up and cleaning our gun!)


We had no choice. Nature made us pick her.

Donna Dixon. From Spies Like Us. In this outfit, and this outfit alone.


Sascher-Masoch? What?

Brigitte Bardot. Crazy-ass woman who, in all sixties films, was death or degradation if you slept with her. And yet it just kept happening.

Catherine Deneuve Belle du Jour seen at an impressionable age is an awesome or damaging thing. We have yet to decide which, exactly.

Cindy Morgan, a.k.a. Lacey Underall. Less from the famous topless scenes in Caddyshack, and more from the dinner party scene where she’s biting her thumb at Ty, then flirts with him, and then sleeps with him and realizes that real insanity is something she’s unprepared to experience. (A shocking bit of depth in the middle of the film: she fancies herself to be some exotic sex bomb out for a slumming romp with Danny, but put her with Ty and she’s just another bland bored girl home for the summer from [INSERT EXPENSIVE SCHOOL HERE.])

Blahbeddy-faggy-blah-hah. She’s flaming hot in this instant:


Yup. That’ll screw a kid up for life.

Also: was in Tron in a body suit. TOP SCORE, Cindy Morgan.