First the H-back, then then fullback, and now Iowa’s just said to hell with every back not prefaced with “quarter.” Or they may be forced to after Jevon Pugh, the only scholarship back on the roster for a team that likes to run the ball way more than they pass it, just decided to hit spring break and stay on spring break, brah.

Iowa running back Jevon Pugh is not enrolled for classes this spring semester, according to the university’s registrar’s office…If Pugh no longer is in Kirk Ferentz’s plans at Iowa, it would leave a hole at running back for the Hawkeyes next season. Albert Young and Damian Sims have exhausted their eligibility, and Pugh was listed as Iowa’s third-team running back. No other running back posted a rushing statistic last fall.

Like most Midwesterners, the weather drove him into that most dire of states: becoming a Parrothead. But one wonders what injury finally did Pugh in: throat chafing from the beer bong? A pulled penis from too much co-ed submission wrestling? A sunburn on the ass from waking up nude on the rooftop of a Cancun hotel…again? Or the siren song of staying on spring break FOREVER, man? That guy selling hemp jewelry on the beach in ten years who’s so weathered he looks like he’s been strapped to the front of a clipper ship for a decade? That’ll be Pugh.

Anyway, running backs are so 20th century. A good quarterback slam play and some end-arounds with the ubiquitous stunningly fast white wideout can get you to nine wins, Hawkeyes. At least, it seemed to work for Florida last year, and also made Verne Lundquist’s life as an announcer somewhat easier.

Tebow.

That’s a dangerous chimp, that Steve.

Nutty USC kids, getting into the April Fools’ bit by posting a fake AP story that Ohio State had cancelled their opening game against USC. Though you probably smelled bad fish from the start, you knew this story needed the lint roller of skepticism when you read the last sentence, right?

In related news, Ohio State running back and Heisman Trophy candidate Beanie Wells was almost killed today in a tragic horse back riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse just in time.-

Everyone knows the AP style manual doesn’t allow leads with an adverb! Amateurs! Fortunately, (Grammar joke!,) Pete Carroll remains undaunted by your jibes and remains locked on awesome.

Forecast of awesome holding steady throughout the week, babies.

That? That’s a random photo. Tonight? Tonight marks the return of EDSBS Live at 9:00 p.m., our new swanky late night hour designed to be more inclusive of our West Coast/Central Time Zone brethren, and also to ensure you’ll be good and cranked by the time you get to the show.

No plans, no agendas, no special guests. In other words, pretty much what you expected. Be there by pressing yon button over on the right sidebar, or popping in at the link via Now Live.

If you do hear gusty laughter at Iowa State, it’s not coming from the head coach, who reminds you that sharks do not laugh, because they (like good defenses) are remorseless killing machines. Defensive coordinators, however, may laugh when it is right and acceptable to do so.

“I think it’s a little more smoothly flowing,” was how linebacker Jesse Smith put it. “We can concentrate more on football rather than figure out if he’s yelling this tone, if he means it. It’s looser just because we don’t have to figure out the coaches and we can have some fun with them now. We know their personality and their humor style.”

“I’m talking about coach (and defensive coordinator Wayne) Bolt.”

Thank you for the clarification, Jesse. The idea of Gene Chizik laughing at anything but the sound of a quarterback suffering severe brain trauma just seems so discordant with everything we assume about the universe. As an aside, in searching for the link in the previous sentences of Joel Klatt being gang-pummeled by Chizik’s ‘05 Texas defense, we found an inspired Texas highlight clip…inspired in the sense that if you combine Vince Young whizzing the ball around at will with Freddie Mercury, you get something completely and utterly un-gay.

Okay, a little gay, but in the best possible way. Just watch this and you’ll agree.

He threw like a drag queen heaving cantaloupes at a bouncer, but he’s still the best college football player we’ve ever seen, dammit-Judy Garland throwing motion and all.

Bobby Bowden and Lou Holtz shared the stage at a very special forum this past Saturday. 622 wins, three national championships and 32 bowl victories between them, the two joked, joshed, and shared the combined wisdom with a rapt audience at Florida State University. An unexpurgated transcript follows.

Moderator Chuck Amato: I’d like to thank you both for being here.

Holtz: It’s my pleasure, Chuck.

Bowden: Who are you, boy? (Laughter from the audience.)

Chuck: Ha, that’s Bobby for you.

Holtz: Humor’s important in coaching. Gotta know when to joke, when to scold, when to lift ‘em up and when to put ‘em down.

Bowden: No, who are you? Where am I? Bananas?

Amato: (more nervously now) Ha, yes, that’s Bobby for you. (more…)