TERRELLE PRYOR'S KNEE HAD A LICENSE PLATE AND BOOT IN IT

Terrelle Pryor recently had knee surgery on the left knee that had been bothering him since the '09 season, and damn, Ohio: you send love when you send gifts of fruit. Creepy, semi-stalkerish love, unless it's tangelos or shitty apples, because you tell someone "I hate you and want you to die" when you send mealy apples. 

"Some people sent me fruit and stuff like that," Pryor said. "I don't know how they got my address, but thank you for all that."

Ahaahahhahaha, he thinks people can't find his address. These are college football fans, Terrelle. Assume they know your blood type, sexual preferences, and astrological profile, and assume they know all of these to a degree you may not even know. A weekend that required the knowledge of all three of these would be something you would consider participating in, but perhaps not photographing. 

Doctors opened Pryor's knee and alarmingly found "a lot of things wrong with it." Those things were not specified, but could be: 

--additional damage from a suspected partial PCL tear, as doctors had previously speculated

--pneumonia of the patella

--had totally jacked up credit from unfortunate sports collectible purchasing spree in November of 2009. 

--manic-depressive IT band

--doctors opened knee up, found license plate, old boot, severed arm of child attacked off coast of South Africa

--General "-Itis", Ribs applied to wound

--Looked inside knee, found smaller knee, opened up that knee, found smaller knee, opened up knee, found smaller knee, INFINITE LOOP HEAD EXPLODES 

Pryor is already working on strengthening the knee with weight training and drills, but shouldn't be full speed for spring drills. In his place, Tressel plans to go without a quarterback, which Ohio State does every third year or so, and is really no problem since they manage to somehow win ten games whether they actually use a quarterback or not. 

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