Despite a long, successful, and totally blemish-free career in football and broadcasting, Craig James has found politics to be a bit more challenging. Yes, even the man we all thought untouchable by controversy now finds himself under attack for some of his more controversial viewpoints. In the interest of helping the soon-to-be Senator get out in front of the story, Luke and I have decided to unveil all of the candidate's most hot-button stances so that we, the voters, can appreciate him for the man of principle he really is.

Craig James swims in basketball shorts with no underwear on.

Craig James thinks putting ketchup on your eggs is gross. He prefers a watery paste made of mustard, tapioca pudding, and Cran-Grape.

According to Craig James, we should stop giving special benefits to Native Americans because those guys were here for years and couldn't even bother to invent television.

Continue reading this post »

U CAN TAKE THE BRO OUT OF ANTARCTICA BUT U CAN'T TAKE THE CHILL BRO OUT OF THE BRO

It's the off-season and that means in between globe hopping on some serious DFW tennis 'ish, Chris Fowler is going to ride but the chillest of chillwaves in locals even modern cartographers haven't properly unearthed yet. Just south of the smart phone's camera's range? The utterly shameless lack of pants.

THE PRINCIPLE DIRECTS NEW MULTIPARTNER MARRIAGE Mormons be lonely, yo. Say what you will about BYU's bold, myopic decision to secede from relevance and try to go at it alone (ESPN $'s!), but in the ever shifting Rocketeer glacial landscape of college football, it would appear as though that last caffeine free Mountain Dew was spiked with regret.

SPENCER HALL & JASON KIRK'S JEDI MINDTRICKS KNOW NO BOUNDS Regardless of what the haterz say, college football's hall of fame is on a direct collision course with the dirty. 2012 will be the facility's last year in South Bend, which one drunk tourist called "my god, why didn't I vacation in Chicago instead? FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU."

CONCEPTUAL LOSS OF DOWN One rogue designer/college football fanboy/turbo bored by the off-season individual continues to churn out mock helmet concept after mock helmet concept. BC's ranks amongst the more palatable, and yet, there's still no design concept for Jim Bollman teaching an offensive line not to go on a one count nor turn out as much as a single multiple year NFL starter on the line that he had a part in recruiting. Excelsior, BC! After Spaz interviews for the Edmonton Eskimo's head coaching job, the Bollrus will become your next head coach.

"ROTATING QUARTERBACKS IS BEYOND REPROACH AND WILL WORK FOREVER", SAYS HOLIDAY BOWL CHAMPS Mack Brown and co. still don't know what they have in David Ash and Case McCoy. I've got an idea, coach.

WE CAN MAKE MONEY TO BURN And burn they shall! Famous Democratic political strategist Dennis Dodd talks figures for a prospective 'Plus One', which include but aren't limited to doubling all the things. Bowl executives, may your future disgraces be plentiful. We can finally afford enough hush money for everybody!

STAY MEDIOCRE, GO DANCING After getting dumped by New Girl star Dana Holgorsen, Jimbo Fisher has found a new dancing partner for the 2012 season in the form of the West Virginia of Savannah based Georgia colleges and universities, Savannah State. I known nothing about Savannah that I didn't learn from Aaron Spelling's short lived risqué serial, Savannah. Miss u, Michigan J. Frog.

ETC.: Spend 13 minutes of your day listening to this extended version of this Gorillaz/James Murphy/Andre 3000 collab., because your time is incredibly invaluable as is anyways.

Brian the Boardmaster whipped this out before he whipped it out, spun it around his head four or five times, and took off using a helicopter-like motion as a form of transportation. This is called the Reggie Nelson Sikorsky, and this update is brought to you by no one but those who vigilantly watch over the Fulmer Cup. Enjoy.

OKAY, HERE'S THE TCU SCORE. Finally, after much combing through of affidavits, the point total for TCU's weed bust is 37 points for all offenses. That's 11 felonies, three misdemeanors, and an almost cheeky bonus point dropped on top for a capper. The code regarding selling drugs in a school-zone really gets you, guys. It does every time.

This places TCU in an outrageous lead for the moment, but remember that we're just one ill-advised group activity away from someone threatening their admittedly huge lead early in the Fulmer Cup. For the moment, second place seems to be the crown everyone else is scrambling for as TCU floats high on their own cloud in first place. #phrasing

Continue reading this post »

TCU's new stadium appears to be quite the gorgeous cathedral. A tribute to the splendor and glory of everything right in sports' greatest vehicle. From Davey O'Brien on through Andy Dalton, Horned Frogs past and present will now have a facility fitting of their long standing passion and a place that old timers and future generations alike can watch Texas Christian blaze a trail on into a bold new era in the Big XII.

But wait. Hmm, what's that there? What... What exactly is that there? You aren't seeing it? It's subtle, but it's definitely there. Let's see if we can't maybe enhance things a little bit to get a bit more clarity on the matter.

Continue reading this post »