997

PAT FITZGERALD, TERRIBLE REALTOR

BUY NOW OR CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT

PAT FITZGERALD, TERRIBLE REALTOR

997

BUY NOW OR CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT

29

In the Shadow of Sanford Stadium

Some losses you just can't get away from, no matter how many years worth of distance lie between you and it.

In the Shadow of Sanford Stadium

29

Some losses you just can't get away from, no matter how many years worth of distance lie between you and it.

FLORIDA STATE FOOTBALL PLAYERS HAVE MADE A SONG

3

To their credit they went hard after the falsetto. Some might be scared of it, but no: they knew what the hook needed. They went after it without an ounce of fear like champions do. They missed the notes, but like Urban Meyer used to say: if you're gonna miss, we want you missing BIG. (Which they did.) Further points credited for the verse "FSU 18/ and I just turned eighteen," following the Rick Ross rule of never shying away from rhyming the same word twice or even several times in the same verse. Via: BUUUUUUUUUUUUD P.S. gotta make it to the top

THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: ANSWERING SOME EMAIL

926

OH BOY A QUESTION FROM A READER WE CAN'T REALLY ANSWER WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT BAD FOOTBALL

A SPOKEN WORD PIECE ABOUT LARRY FEDORA

PLEASE BE SILENT AND IN RESPECT TO YOUR FELLOW POETS KEEP YOUR READING TO UNDER FOUR MINUTES

How to make a preseason top 25

Preseason college football rankings are very important. Did you know you can make your own? Just follow this guide.

PIZZASCREEN

909

THE FUTURE IS HERE

THE MC: BIG TEN MEDIA DAY PREDICTIONS

Someone brought more beer, yes?

BIG TEN SEASON PREVIEW: OHIO STATE

948

What is Urban Meyer? Am I Urban Meyer?

CHARLIE STRONG HAS KICKED YOU OFF THE TEAM

ALL OF YOU ARE FIRED AND OFF THE TEAM

OL Brown commits to Florida WITH BABY GATOR SWAG

121

Florida is getting a good, if undersized, lineman in George Brown, Jr., but it might get more from his commitment.

THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL HIRES THE HAY TEAM

900

WILL NOT PAY FOR GAS MONEY, HOWEVER

Every Day Should Be Saturday

Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.

JULY IS THE CRUELEST MONTH

HARD TIMES FOR A HARD MAN IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL CITY

THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL IS MISERABLE

AND POOR. SO POOR.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF WISHES

BECAUSE PREDICTIONS ARE FOR SUCKERS

A MESSAGE FROM THE FARMERS OF IOWA

YOU EAT WHAT YOU WANT. IOWA'S READY TO HELP WHEN YOU ARE.

THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL CHOOSES THE TRAVELER

962

WE COULDN'T HELP IT. IT JUST POPPED IN THERE.

EXAMINING THE OHIO STATE ROSTER

YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF RAEKWON OR WE WILL HURT YOU

DABO SWINNEY EXPLAINS THE HEAVENS

941

NOT IN A RELIGIOUS WAY

THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL TRAVELS SMART

890

DON'T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT SURF NINJA

ALABAMA HITS ZACH METTENBERGER ONE MORE TIME

HE'S SUFFERED ENOUGH

IF YOU BUILD IT

905

NEW STADIUMS FOR EVERYONE

A MOMENT OF REVERIE FOR BOBBY PETRINO

991

NEVER GIVE UP. NEVER, EVER GIVE UP.

THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL HAS POETRY

935

AND SENSIBLE SLACKS

Super Smash Coaches

19

Coaching in the SEC is always a strategic battle, but what if it was an ACTUAL battle?

DO WE LIKE THIS: TEXAS A&M

887

A CONVERSATION THAT SOMEHOW INCLUDES MEMPHIS AND DABO SWINNEY

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