I have found that masturbating alleviates the effects of a hangover.

A Coke from McDonald’s only. They put something in it. Quarter Pounder too if you can hold it down.

1. always worked for me. And lying down. Lots and lots of proneness.

Jesus Orson, its Atlanta. Waffle House, homes. Or just booting or taking a large shit. I always feel better.

Get TCOAN to slap you in the face… really really hard… scientifically proven to work.

definitely some form of hair of the dog. Bloody Marys are appropriate. Either booze or greasy food. The fat in eggs and bacon soaks up that alcohol right quick.

If you can stomach it, a Bloody Mary. Check out google “Lifehacker bloody mary”, grab one of their recipies, and get to work. It takes a little while to make, but it cleans you out quite well. Then start pushing water.

Shitload of water, a couple Excedrin, a multivitamin, some food rich in potassium and iron, and a 5-Hour Energy bottle.

Pedialyte.

You’re dehydrated. And Pedialyte is overloaded with electrolytes because when babies get dehydrated, you need to get them re-hydrated as quickly as possible.

Orson, as a hangover cure during college football season, ChickFilA sucks. Because they insist on taking off the Sabath, they are never open to help ease a Sunday morning hangover. This is doubly troubling because they show approximately 100 ChickFilA commercials during college football broadcasts on Saturday. So the next day, with the subliminal yen for ChickFilA sandwiches and sweet tea in my brain, I am forced to ignore it.

steam bath and a bloody mary. failing that, slurpee and vodka concoction. Word to the wise: AVOID THE TAQUITOS at all costs.

My usual method:

If there is a local shop nearby that sells a good breakfast burrito and your stomach is tough enough not to reject it, go for it. Grease actually helps for me. Drink one soda before to test and drink another after to chase it down.

If you’re gonna retch no matter what, gobble three or four aspirin with pop until it goes away.

Smoke a doobie, drink a bloody mary, and eat a bagel.

Three letters - BLT.

Don’t laugh:

French fries dipped in a Frosty. Hand to god.

If you need to get some food down, go with a hamburger from McDonalds with nothing on it. Just bread and meat (or what they call meat).

Someone suggested a 5 hour energy drink for hangovers. Never tried it myself though.

LOL @ #1

Greasiest food you can find. Waffle House has been mentioned, Checkers is a fave of mine

I have two depending on the kind of hangover. For a raging headache, take a BC powder and chug a Propel. If you feel like puking, I suggest 4 Arby’s cheesesticks and a sprite.

Egg McMuffin & a coke from McDonald’s. Since it’s past breakfast—anything greasy from McDonald’s. Also vast quantities of Propel.

An addition to mine @ 12 regarding the soda bit:

NO DIET SODA. For some reason, there has to be high fructose corn syrup in it in order to properly attack a hangover.

I’m with Tim (#13), but kick in a little b12, 3 advil, and if your going to drink coffee why not go all the way with a mocha + 2 shots of espresso. The trick is to confuse your body with a series of uppers and downers.

I second Holly’s french fry & frostie tip. It’s delicious and it will cure cancer. Just wait.

4 Alkaseltzer for the queezy stomach and 1 packet of BC power. Instantly calms the stomach and gives you enough asprin to render you virtually numb. The Alkaseltzer is key….

Works like a charm. At least it did the Friday morning after beating Auburn when I couldn’t see or stop vomiting.

2 bc powders and a 32 oz lemon-lime gatorade* will cure cancer, aids, hangovers and anything else that is widely believed to not have a cure.

*as far as i’m concerned this is still the ONLY flavor.

1. Greasy breakfast sandwich - I prefer bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel from Dunkin Donuts.

2. Gatorade - original Fruit Punch, you want the sugar. Ginger ale is an acceptable substitute.

3. Nap.

Hair of the dog.

Oh and the purple Vitamin Water works really well (lots of b-complex and potassium).

1. Go away, baitin’ is only a distraction. Laying around is capitulation.

2. One lortab (left over from your achilles repair. what?! you didn’t have one this year?) and lots of propel (peach or orange is best, no lemon). Seriously, the lortab knock out the headache whilst you get busy rehydrating with the propel and some water. Propel should sponsor this post and comment thread.

I concur with the gatorade/pedialyte suggestions. And bananas work well for added potassium too.

corned-beef hash. without the onions.

and as much carnbonation as your stomach can hold until you groan.

then a very nicely executed burp/belch.

you’ll feel so refreshed.

How about a whole episode of College Football Live featuring Dr Lou skits?
oh sorry…. thought I was still on the Mustache/Whats Worse Than Obama thread…

I’m a fan of the Peter O’Toole/Clark Gable recover method . . .

Just start drinking again until the day your liver fails.

Then steal a train.

#23, that can backfire tremendously if you inhale while the BC powders are sitting on your tongue but before you swallow. Like if you take a breath through your mouth while raising the gatorade to your lips, sending apirin powder flying into your lungs. This results in spastic coughing, followed by puking so violent that it makes you feel as though your head is literally going to explode.

Chik-fil-a is obviously the most perfect solution. Truett Cathy, the Last Great American, knows this, and so closes his restaurants on Sundays to discourage consumption of the devil’s Coca-Cola on Saturdays. Can’t go to church with a hangover, and Truett’s not going to help you escape the wrath of the church lady. You’re on your own, son.

Since many readers of edsbs.com are from/living in the south, find a Hardee’s, STAT! They have the best breakfast to begin with, they’re open on Sunday, and the grease is all you need…I suggest biscuits n’ gravy or my new personal fav, death in a paper wrapper—The Porkchop and Gravy Biscuit—It’ll make you full, it’ll make you sleepy, It’ll make you shit out all the toxins left by alcohol and replace them with artery-hardening goodness!

I’m a loyal Hokie and have self medicated every weekend this season. I suggest you do the same.

1. - thanks for the tip

/that’s what she said

Go to the West Siiiiiiide and eat at Carver’s Grocery….eat some Fried Chicken, mac n’ cheese and some collards…wash it down with some sweet tea and then lapse into a food coma for the next 5 hours. When you wake up you’ll be right as rain,….and then you’ll probably have to take the most heinous visit to the bathroom in your life, but at least the hangover will be gone….

Jameson Irish Whiskey

Goody’s powder. Tried this for the first time when i had a noon game to go to and the type of hangover you get when you go back to Gainesville for the first time in a year. It’s got caffeine, aspirin and something else that I think is basically meth. Works like a sexual encounter with Jeff Demps — fast and powerful.

At the risk of sounding like an inside-the-beltway latte-sipper: Indian lentil soup and plenty of naan and a mango lassi, & then take your gatorade and dilute 50% with water - ease those electrolytes back into the system and ramp up the liquid intake.

Or, find a quiet dark space and pray for death until you fall asleep again, and hope for the best when TCOAN wakes your sorry ass up.

Thanks a lot Dept:

Glad the OBC is back on the banner.

If you can get your hands on it, Zofran works really well. 25mg of Phenergan will works well to reduce the nausea and induce the sleep/coma you need to sleep this off. I will 3rd(4th?) the Pedialyte

Take an Alka-seltzer before you pass out.

#26’s suggestion of purple Vitamin Water (Revive) is a good one. It’s like gatorade without the salt and possibly more sugar.

And it mentions hangovers on the label, so they must know something.

The best hangover cure I’ve ever had was grape Pedialyte and vodka. Follow that up with a Diary Queen double cheeseburger. You’re set for the day.

this needs to be in the “crying like a bitch” category

For the day after: Fish and chips, the greasier the better. Discovered this one in a little town in Yorkshire, England, after the locals nearly killed me with pints at a pub.

If you’re not too shit-faced to remember BEFORE you pass out: a benadryl, three ibuprofen, a couple of multivitamins and at least a liter of water. Works like a miracle.

Pepperoni roll and a Miller Lite. Breakfast of Champions.

2 naked dogs, a peach fried pie and a frosted orange, then walk over to Spring St., walk in to the building that says “CHEETAH” and have a drink. Worked for me after the WLOCO.

The power of #4 should not be ignored. Orson, head out the door right now for 5 miles or 45 minutes. Whichever comes last. You’ll come back thirsty, hungry and sleepy all of which will help right away.

The concept is grounded in primitive medicine but is supported by modern science. You know how primitive human skulls have been found with holes neatly drilled in them? The ancients knew that creating pain in a new area of the body would let the demons escape. Running does the same thing. Plus, who hasn’t felt better after puking? Demons OUT!

Next, modern science absolutely supports the concept of cranking up your heart rate so your liver gets more blood to metabolize the leftover booze.

Ancient wisdom and hard science not good enough for you? Then there is a spiritual component as well. You can repeat mantra-like “Never again” with each step as you hope to begin a journey to better health and a more enlightened stewardship of the flesh suit loaned to us for our brief time on this orb. At least until the next rivalry game.

Third for #15. Or blue powerade zero and aleve.

@49 Fuck. That. Shit.
88 Tofu on Buford Highway. If spicy Korean can’t kill it, you’re basically fucked.
Seriously, if you puke or take a shit as soon as you wake up you feel better.

More politics and political banter cures all. Nobody could disagree with that.

Waffle House, Dude!!!!

Seriously, get you some eggs over easy, bacon and hashbrowns that are scattered, smothered, covered and chunked.

You’ll then blow chunks and feel a lot better.

In all seriousness, a V8 is the best hangover cure there is.

It’s probably not found anywhere near the ATL, but goetta works wonders. It has the greasy mystery pig part goodness of sausage, combined with the absorptive power of oats.

Drink Pedialite (yeah that kool-aid like shit for babies with the runs) before you go to bed and when you wake up.

That shit works.

Go to Whole Foods (maybe Trader Joes sells it too) and buy Emergen-C. You mix a packet with a glass of water and you’re off to the races. For the over 30 crowd this stuff works much better than Wa-Ho. It’s loaded with B12 to make you feel better. As an added benefit, this stuff is loaded with all of the good salts for post workout recovery during the hot/humid months here in ATL.

@15 Fourth’d. That shit will cure whatever ails you. God. Damn. Delicious.

Also, pedialyte is indeed the magic hangover elixer.

Medical grade oxygen and sex with a fat girl in the back seat of an 72 Buick Electra 225.

nth-ing the suggestion to hit up the Hizzy. All-Star platter, eggs over medium, bacon, and hashbrowns covered will cure what ails you. It’ll also spike your cholesterol count, but which would you rather have: a heart attack in 15 years or no hangover now? Thought so. Go to your nearest Waffle House and belly up to the counter.

It’s only pain dude. Pain is weakness leaving the body.

Man up. Life ain’t a puss game.

If you can get it, a shot of B-complex coupled with pure Oxygen. Saw a guy pass out one night, the staff called the EMTs & they had him up and feisty in 90 seconds.

Otherwise, I’m amazed NOBODY has suggested this…

PURPLE DRANK!!!!! Just stay stoned, bro.

32 oz gatorade (Flavor not important, but I recommend Citrus Cooler because it taste the best coming up if it comes to that)

Use the gatorade to wash down:

2 Advil Gel Caps
2 Excedrin Migraine
2 Extra Strength Tylenol
2 Aspirin
2 Aleve

Now bury your head in a pillow and think of a pony running through a meadow.

Lots of carbs and lots of hydration worked for me. Gee thee to IHOP and have a huge stack of pancakes smothered in that sugary blueberry topping. Then drink a large OJ and all the water you can drink without floating away.

Then, find a dark room and sleep until it’s time to shit out all those blueberries.

I’ve not heard one mention of a damp rag applied to forehead and eyes.

Also… after the ingestion of your electrolytes and booze-absorber of choice, a double-hit of NyQuil with the damp rag often brings on the sweet release of sleep.

Of course if you have to get up and get stuff done then you are hosed.

I don’t know about curing a hang over, but when I have the flu it always seems to pick me up. Come on, you know you’ve done it. Home sick from work with the Flu, bored out of your brains…we’ve all been there. Not saying it’s a cure…I’m just sayin’.

There’s only one guaranteed way to kill a hangover…start with Vitamin Water revive and WEED.

Two glasses of water. Rub one out. Go back to sleep.

HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!

Grease. And lots of it. Mickey D’s is a good place to start. Oh, and a large coke. The sugar, syrup and bubbles are pure magic.

Blowjob.

Orson,
G*torade, ganja and a B vitamin complex. You will be right as chocolate raaain.
Sincerely,
Me

If none of the stickulous iculus is available, just do the sports drink and vitamin.

Purple Drank, lawya!!! It cures all your ills, and ills 24/7 at the same time, yo….

And when that doesn’t work, hire a couple of midgets to punch you repeatedly in the nuts. Sooner or later the groin pain will make you forget about the hangover.

Wait, you stopped drinking? That was your first mistake. The only sure-fire cure for a hangover is preventive. After Mardi Gras a few years ago I drank a gallon of water before I went to bed. This was after polishing off a fifth of bourbon before noon and being swept off of Bourbon St. at midnight. Woke up the next day tired but that’s it. In the end though, you just have to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Or keep drinking.

shot of pickle juice. tip courtesy of some russian petroleum engineers met on an oil rig in the gulf of mexico — those guys know from hangovers.

then pedialyte and a breakfast burrito and you are good to go.

Can I note my jealousy that you are hungover on a Wednesday? Please write an instruction manual on how to transition from practicing law to sports blogging for a living, thanks.

Do NOT try to eat your way out of it. Anything involving food is pointless.

Drink water, run til you puke, take a hot shower and you’ll be as good as you can be.

If you think it won’t get out of hand, a beer works even better.

1. Large Gatorade
2. Multi vitamins and aspirin
3. do an SRV (double shot of bourbon with a big pinch of peruvian marching powder thown into the glass with the bourbon. A texas original)

Preventative therapy; drink a glass or two of scotch a night. It’s kept me hangover free since May.

A. Tremendous grease bomb - the more mayo the better in my experience ( Whopper from the BK Lounge seems to fit the bill for me), Accompanied by a real coke. Not, cocaine, presumably that’s part of the reason you’re in this pickle then

B. Rub one out. Seems to work better than actual female contact. Only you can apply the correct pressure to make the spunk shoot across the room. It needs to be a genuine pressure reliever, not just a time-waster.. then,

C. the shit of the century. the kind where you have to leave your own house; and finally

D gatorade and weed. Works every time. Like fucking science

“hair of the dawg that bit ya”…mine’s usually gin, so instead of a martini, I’d go with a g&t…that tonic can actually work, it is medicinal with that quinine and stuff. Yours was vodka? Try a few more v&t’s…hell, if it doesn’t work you’re just where you started anyway.

Hey, just glad I could help.

Mike: a good recipe. I’ll give the floating pepper and garlic salt a try, but I’m definitely down with lime in my Bloody Mary.

Tabata Training. You have to feel better afterwards than during because you are tempting death for 4 minutes, especially when hungover (I get mine on a treadmill):

http://www.justaguything.com/intense-tabata-interval-routines-for-ultimate-conditioning/

Otherwise… orgasm.

If you have that hangover because you were one of those motherfuckers over at Manuel’s honking your horn and screaming until 0300 you fucking deserve every horrendous, nasty mouthed, head pounding minute of it. Some of us still have to work in the morning.

If not, I recommend a shot of Opal, the Icelandic liquor. Ever wonder what Jager would taste like with a carton of menthol cigarettes floating in it? If you can get that down you are ready for anything. It’s made from herbs, and herbs are good for you.

Pot. It cures nausea and relieves headaches. It also makes you thirsty so you’ll re-hydrate. Its really a wonder drug.

Gatorade and the spiciest food (green chile, thai noodles, etc.) you can obtain.

a fifth avenue bar and a fountain coke…..and a egg, scrambled (not an egg, ‘a egg’) this courtesy of jake, from the ’ville, who knows of these things..it works, too…

@47: I thought you could only get pepperoni rolls within the boundaries of one state…

Bacon-Egg-Cheese on any type of breadish item, the key being LOTS of mustard. Alka Seltzer or - god help me - Perrier. The purple or yellow Vitamin Water or Life Water is the way to go once you get the worst symptoms out of the way with the grease or fizzies. THEN you should be good to go out for bloody marys or red eyes. Play like a champion.

Lots of iced tea, McDonalds fries or potato chips, and and Chunky clam chowder.

a half a gram of sour diesel, a strawberry swisher sweet, and some buffalo chicken pizza with a diet ginger ale…

plus if u have a female friend at your disposal, whatever she is willing to offer in terms of sexual contact will also help immensely

First trick: Orange Juice and water. The first as concentrated as you can stand it, the second following as fast as you can drink it. Rinse and repeat.

Second trick: Stumble out of the bar outside of The Hague at age 17 on a snowy November night just ten minutes after the last bus left for the city, a short fifteen miles away. You know, the one that contains the hotel you can’t remember the name of, in the foreign country you don’t speak the language, and “friends” who thought you had left earlier than they did when you went to puke your guts out in the men’s room.

Then look in your wallet and find: a single dollar bill.

It’s surprising how fast that one will sober you, in a panicky “I’m soooooo f*cked!” kind of way.

With luck, you’ll flag down an American expatriot on a motor bike at 1 AM who actually understands what a thumb means (as opposed to the rest of the Dutch population driving at midnight who interpret it as some sort of insult).

I always just eat plain bread and drink water. It’s the only way to stop me from throwing up.

Good luck. Drinking champagne last night was a bad idea. Making it Cook’s was even dumber.

SCRAPPLE!!!!!!!!!!

Alka-Seltzer wake-up call, followed by vitamin water recovery flavor (or short of that, gatorade diluted with some water), followed by the greasy food of your choice. Even the worst “I swear I’ll never drink again!” hangover cured just like that.

texas grilled fritos and some surge soda.

no such thing as a mild hangover for me … then its usually a gut-bomb type burger .. 2×1/3 lbs, bacon, guac and jalapenos with an assload of ketchup with tobasco and a bloody mary or 4

Bean Burrito. Glues the insides up nice n’ tight.

1) 2 advil gelcaps
2) 4 pints of Strongbow Cider
3) 1 blowjob
4) last second of the end of the Texas vs. Tech game.
 You’ll be “right as dodgers for this after”

…not sure there is any cure for a truly bad one, but on the bright side I think Brooks&Dunn have used hangovers to fuel every sad song they’ve ever written. So in other words, no remedy, but there is the possibility of you becoming a music star.

2 Extra Strength Excedrin
1 large fountain coke with lots of ice

Ever read what’s in one Excedrin?

250mg Tylenol + 250 Aspirin + shitload of caffeine.

It’s the Swiss Army Knife of elixers. Rich Rodriguez sold it out of a buggy in a previous life.

Saline IV. Best reason in the world to date a nurse.

Instant rehydration. Even better if you can convince her to start the drip before you go to bed.

I keep 2 liters of water by my bedside that I down overnight. If I got a headache the next morning, some aspirin helps (my boss at Taco Bell keeps a supply handy for such things). While I’m at it, eat some Taco Bell too. Preferrably a Quesadilla and a taco

1. said it all.

Either that or man up.

Pedialyte cured the worst hangover of my life, my Morning After Bachelor Party hangover.

I had vomited 13 times that morning (all but one dry), and couldn’t keep water down. Drank a half bottle of Pedialyte and the improvement was immediate.

All I had left was a really, really, sore throat.

step 1 - masturbate
step 2 - dump out (if necessary)
step 3 - fried chicken (greasyer the better) and regular coke

repeat as necessary

btw - if its gameday, mardi gras, etc… and you need to rally fast. drink a triple vodka and redbull to ease you back into a dayfull of drinkin’ (just make sure you do that before you completely sober up)

1. Running - especially if your fat, your body is not used to it and the sweat gets you going.
2. Rub n Tug - the only jerk better than your own is the seasoned soothing hands of a professional.
3. Wendy’s or McDonalds - Double Stack or Big Mac cant go wrong.
4. Most inportant - BEER, for breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, dessert. How every you get it down, just do it. I have found that either Funneling, Chugging or Shotgun is most effective if you can man it up.*

*If your the Wake Forest country club type then a Bloody Mary is equally effective. Then you can run and play a spot of Croquet with Muffy and solict Stock advise from her father the Colonal.
5. Tylenol/Aspirin