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OPEN REQUEST: HANGOVER SOLUTIONS

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Okay, reader input solicited. Hangover is in FULL effect. We're going to list our immediate hangover solutions, because we have one, and need to get over it in order to stop staring blankly at the computer screen. Our usual repertoire:

1. Coffee. Kind of like Tussin, in that we apply it to every problem we've ever had physically. Just rub it deep into the bone there. Get it all the way in.

2. Crying. Just heave forward, think of puppies being thrown into a wood chipper or something, and cry. It helps, even if it reduces your dignity hit points to zero on the day. Considering that your brain is literally dehydrated from consuming a poisonous substance, they're pretty low to begin with, no?

3. A beer. Just one, or maybe in extreme circumstances. This is for the most dire, world-destroying of hangovers only.

4. Running until vomiting. Since we're a bit pukey anyway, this works like a charm, but getting up the gumption to do it is the hard part. An old Army hangover trick learned from a sub five foot woman who can field-strip an M-16 can't be wrong.

5. Chik-Fil-A. Like coffee, may be applied liberally to any serious problem or moment in your life.

Please leave your own suggestions below. We'll try anything at this point.