No idea. Not many things leave us speechless. This did.

We have no idea what the fuck a referree is doing putting his shoulder into a player during a game. None. There are moments in life when the Imp of the Perverse sits on your shoulder and screams for you to do something: the urge to jump from a tall object when you know it would result in your death, the nigh-irresistible itch we have to throw our cell phone into a deep fryer, the impulse to scream in quiet meetings and funerals. This has to be one of those moments when the Imp won, and surrounded by the swirling contagion of grunting and contact, the ref just decided to bow up and show this punk Garcia who was boss.

Either that, or he was on PCP. This being an SEC official, either is possible. (HT: Paul.)

Another relative measure of power to discuss YAY. The BCS rankings came out this weekend, and you will not be outraged, because it is both early and largely makes sense for the moment. (If you are in need of outrage, please go here for an easy format to express yourself in and save yourself the trouble of, you know, thought.)

1. Texas
2. Alabama
3. Penn State
4. Oklahoma
5. USC
6. Oklahoma State
7. Georgia
8. Texas Tech
9. Ohio State
10. Florida

USC’s buoyancy continues, while the BCS rankings further confirm suspicions of our early blogpoll ballot criminally overranking Florida and short-shrifting Oklahoma. Apologies: beating LSU by 30 points will make the brain do fuzzy, inexact things, and we don’t need anymore help with that as it is.

Urrbody in this car gettin’ tipsy. Georgia defensive tackle Brandon Wood picks up a DUI and a suspension for the LSU game, earning the charge at a 3:42 a.m. traffic stop in Athens Sunday morning. Injured left tackle Vince Vance also got ticketed for a “requiring a license” when he was pulled over by police and realized he had a suspended license. The frequency of arrests in Athens is steady and petty enough to make us wonder what the ratio of cop to student is there: 2:1? 4:1? Can one go three feet without being forced to give a breathalyzer test to a uniformed officer on the sidewalk?

Faces of Death, Volume 2008. Rich Rod emotes.

Pass the peas, and you’re benched. Cody Hawkins’ benching didn’t seem to affect his enthusiasic fight song singing, but it did improve the team’s performance as Colorado edged out Kansas State 14-13 behind Tyler Hansen’s running and the general slackitude of the Kansas State football program and OMG FIRST ROUNDER Josh Freeman. Hawkins the Younger is displaying admirable grace under fire even after the benching, though Hawkins doesn’t like the situation at all (in awesome Dan Hawkins fashion, natch):

“I hate it,” he said. “But it is what it is. I didn’t like the fact that I was so slow and short and not very athletic, either. But I had to deal with that.”

Life’s like that. Not all of us are blessed with myopia, glass ankles, and 6.09 forty speed. (Suck it Clay Travis and your 6.1 crawl!)