Innuendo Overdrive Continues. Metaphors. They’re everywhere, really.


Photo: Steve Dipaola, Reuters, via SFGate.

From Doc Saturday’s flash-entry on the game:

But if Ohio State deserves to be ridiculed and scorned and run out the mythical championship picture on a rail for its primetime, big game failures, when are we going to hold USC accountable for repeatedly losing the little one?

Not until they lose a bowl game in humiliating fashion, of course, though this second loss to Oregon State in three years coupled with the Stanford upset now has three consistent events concatenated into a trend which even, oh we don’t know…yes, even AOL commenters, for example, can appreciate the significance of with some proper repetition and patience in a room free of shiny distractions and candy.

Ted Miller of ESPN’s superb Pac-10 blog adds:

It means the Pac-10’s shocking spiral into the muck of irrelevancy is complete.

This would be so much less sticky of a statement to toss around had Tennessee not lost to UCLA, thus allowing for the “but but but BUT! What does it say about the SEC blah blah UCLA loss blah blah.” What is says is that Tennessee shitting the bed against the Bruins was a royal pain in the ass in the blanket statement department, and that the Vols deserve whatever Guantanamo sojourn they seem doomed to endure this year for undermining the ease of the WOOO SEC! argument.

To repeat: THANKS, ASSHOLES, FOR MAKIN’ THE THANKIN’ BONE SORE. Love, the rest of the SEC

Urban Meyer does like application of batter and heat to Urban’s tail. Urban is concerned. Urban is specifically concerned about Mike Wallace, the Ole Miss speedster who scorched Florida’s secondary for a 77 yard go route TD.

They’re a more dangerous team than the team we played last week,” Meyer said. “(They are) faster. (Wallace), the guy kind of fried our tail last year, ran a (98)-yard kick return against Vanderbilt. I worry about their speed.

Urban should remember that last year’s secondary made Brandon Cox look like Dan Marino Thundercock Voltron. Urban needs a Diet Coke and a protein bar, and will be be right back.

You can’t call them Pravda. Army’s Rivals site is brimming with optimism about the Texas A&M game this weekend!

Now that Coach Brock has added a “Keystone Kops” dimension to this offense, shuffling his ineffective QB’s at random and illogical moments, you can count on all kinds of slapstick comedy any time the QB’s fake the fullback handoff and try doing anything else against the athletes on the A&M defense…Look for calls for Brock’s job to begin on Saturday afternoon…

Good morning, starshine….the earth says, heeeLOOOOOOO…

Shockingly, no qbs were maimed. Oregon players get in street racing accident, lose confidence in tight-ass street racing abilities, wonder if this whole crazy cash-for-dash scene is really worth it, find solace in the love a good woman who can’t say no to fast cars and faster men, and then rebuild their ride with extra nitrous, spearmint headlights, and defeat the pretty boy rich kid who spun them out in the first place, regaining their schwerve and reclaiming their crown as King of the Streets.