Guest Columnist at work.

I tend to avoid delving into the world of sport for a number of reasons, the most salient of these being that I was never any good at sports, and thus forever intimidated by the more Athenian and robust dimension of the physical life. I was a championship swimmer in high school, but please: young men, speedos, and you may run the necessary permutations and calculations to assess the reasons I excelled therein.

The sporting life also never appealed to me because of, and please give me a wide berth here to allow for my own personal encumbrances vis-a-vis style and de mode, but the uniforms? Simply hideous! Tight pants are one thing, but pairing them with jerseys in color combinations that look like a Mark Rothko painting put in a blender? It just turned what was initially a disaffection into a juvenile but powerful antipathy for all things athletic that would last into my adulthood.

I’ve softened my stance recently, though. Tom Brady’s stylish couture strutting has helped; has there ever been a quarterback so effortlessly in tune with the runway? Besides Troy Aikman? Also, my recent entry into a “kick-ball” league in central park has helped me overcome my uppensiesportenheitfiersichengetfleitkesich. Don’t look for me out there! I’m all schlubby when I play, since you can’t be a fashion manuductor all the time. My goal is to kick the ball out of the infield one day.

Anyway, a reader brought this to my attention, and I feel I must address it in the manner in which I am comfortable. Please see the fashion advice given at the 1:00 mark, and read about the background here.

Let’s just dispel one myth here: BLACK IS NOT JUST FOR FUNERALS! It is time have a funeral, yes, but for this tired old glue-mare of fashion foolishness! Black is a versatile color for all seasons and styles, be you an executive wanting to cut the right authoritative silhouette, a browseur endlessly perusing the windows of the city’s marketplace in style, or simply looking for the vetements justes for a quiet evening at home. Let us just throw this old wives (or coaches’) tale out with the bad vegetables of yesterday’s fashion. Think fashion forward, not cliche-backward, coach!

Given your frame, I’d recommend a nice v-neck with a tie to lengthen the torso and de-emphasize those big bulgy trapezius muscles that obscure the lines of the neck. The look will also offer a soft, preppy but casual look to play off but not overwhelm the Armani stylings of your ever-dapper head coach, Nick Saban.

Make it work,

Tim