HE WANDERS LONELY AS A CLOUD
Sigh.
Knowshon! How you doing, kid? Feeling good? Thinking right?
Nah, coach. I feel…empty. Dissatisfied. Like all I do vanishes into thin air as soon as I do it, like my accomplishments mean nothing. Knowshon needs a spirit bear to wrestle. A reason for my gorgeous flight. Challenge.
I feel you. Running against inferior competition. You’re a champion, Knowshon. You crave more, right? Real challenge.
It’s like you can see in my heart, man, without cutting a hole in my chest, you know?
I gotcha. Just a second, Knowshon. I’ll be back with something for you.
Into his collar:Agent 38: enact Operation Greensleeves.
Signs passed out. Coupons awarded. Leaving scene.
Knowshon, look over there. What do those signs over there say? Can you read ‘em for me?
Coach, that’s a ways off, lemme fly Bring…bring…bring on…
Brah! They gave us free chicken sandwiches to hold these signs up! EPIC!
Ohhhhhhhhh, shit. Move out the way, sun. Knowshon just found his motherfucking spirit bear.
Attaboy. Glad to help, son. Glad to help.
10
Who in Tempe signed off on that promotion, Mikheil Saakashvili?
Comment by DC Trojan — September 8, 2025 @ 12:19 pm
9
As I read this a pop-up box opened and Knowshon jumped over it right onto my desktop…the kid’s got talent.
Comment by Mackalicious — September 8, 2025 @ 12:17 pm
8
Oh, ASU. Why, oh why are you poking the bear with a stick?
Comment by Silver Britches — September 8, 2025 @ 12:15 pm
7
FTW! I honestly thought no one would catch that.
Knowshon > Eaters of Worlds
Comment by Holly — September 8, 2025 @ 12:09 pm
6
That thing with the teeth he’s jumping over…is that from Steven King’s made for TV movie - The Langoliers?
Comment by Ryno — September 8, 2025 @ 12:09 pm
5
ESS EEE CEE SPEED (and levitation).
Comment by Sundawg — September 8, 2025 @ 12:08 pm
4
Knowhown is pretty good. So good, he’d probably be 3rd string at Cal.
Yes, that is a compliment.
Comment by dajo9 — September 8, 2025 @ 12:04 pm
3
The UGa housing department had no problem with Knowshon jumping into the stratosphere. He just knows better than to do a backflip this time.
Comment by Ground0EastLansing — September 8, 2025 @ 12:03 pm
2
I’ve been waiting for the EDSBS spin on this one since about, oh, 5:24 Saturday afternoon.
But this….this….THIS certainly exceeds even my most psychedelic hopes. 1000 cocktails at the U Joint on a sunny 70s Sunday, sir.
Comment by Bobby Decatur — September 8, 2025 @ 12:02 pm
1
I think that I shall never see
A poem as lovely as SWEET WOUNDED JESUS HE CAN FLY
Comment by Holly — September 8, 2025 @ 12:01 pm