CURIOUS INDEX, 10/14/08
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It’s getting dusty in here. Listen to a Clemson fan completely lose their shit at the 1:00 mark. It’s not the Gundy-fun way, either, but that awful thing people do when their eyes begin to spout water, their breathing gets labored, and everyone in the room just wants to pull a ninja smoke bomb out and disappear. That thing called…what is it…yes, crying like a scalded infant.
Internet law, repeated: If it’s in Wikipedia, it must be true, especially if it’s about a storied football program and their coach after a loss to Toledo. Toledo players, btw, honored the achievement of being the first MAC team to beat Michigan ever by getting arrested in a fight involving “about forty people.” In case you’re wondering at what point a “brawl” crosses over into being a “riot,” we’ll just establish a little rule right now: it’s at approximately forty people. He took a knee for a 67 yard TD. Sometimes another team is so inept you can’t help but score, as was the case when Naples High beat pitiable Estero High 91-0 this past weekend. Do not blame Naples: Estero doesn’t, as Naples only ran 31 plays the entire night and had backbenchers in for the second half. “Hey,” offered Estero defensive line coach Pat Hayes after the one-sided affair, “I didn’t even know 91 was a multiple of seven.” Let’s hope he doesn’t teach math, and instead has the customary “History/Civics/sleeping with senior student” slot reserved for coaches at most high schools. FIU: Un-awful! Bruce Feldman has an informative list of spectacular turnarounds and includes the unlikely but accurate pick of FIU, the consensus Donkey Prize winner for Worst Team in D-1, who currently has a three-game win streak going. All credit to Ned for showing the way to Badass Lane for the Panthers. Brandon Tate, out. The Tarheels’ explosive returner and wideout is gone for the season. |
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Part of me just wants to give that weepy Clemson fan a hug, and by “give him a hug” I mean “slowly back away while not making eye contact.”
Comment by Doug — October 14, 2025 @ 9:47 am
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OSH is a Buckeye fans attempt to write tOSU. Still unbeaten in typing skills! WOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
Comment by Zone Left — October 14, 2025 @ 9:46 am
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I didn’t realize this guy was a Clemson fan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvTNyKIGXiI
“Clemson Football-It’s still real to me DAMMIT!”
Comment by Laugh — October 14, 2025 @ 9:44 am
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@hobeg8r
At first, I thought it was parents compaining about their kids not seeing the field because of lack of ability, but now that I see it is the other way around…
life is going to be a trainwreck for these kids.
Comment by meatybob — October 14, 2025 @ 9:44 am
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@ 2 & 7….
I repeat….
How many batteries does it take to light up the Big House?
1AA
….if only Toledo was a 1 AA school, the punchline could be:
2 AA’s
Comment by Mich-Placed Gator — October 14, 2025 @ 9:41 am
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@3 As much as I would like Michigan to win, I don’t see it happening. Joe Pa’s rambling has invoked dark magic. That crazy troll has his boys playing possessed. Michigan, on the other hand looks like “a bunch of retards humping a door knob”.
Now on to Clemson, Estrogen U is in dire need of some testosterone or they should change the mascot to somthing less threatening like a rainbow.
Comment by croc — October 14, 2025 @ 9:40 am
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Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. ~Charles Dickens
Comment by TheDeuce — October 14, 2025 @ 9:39 am
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Sad enough to send it twice.
As for the high school game, I am most surprised at the parents who were mad that their sons didn’t play. So much for sportsmanship.
Comment by hobeg8r — October 14, 2025 @ 9:22 am
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that weepy Clemson fellow is nothing….
hell, they cry for the loss of the Bear every week on Finebaum’s radio show…even when they are winning
Comment by InsaneCoachPosse — October 14, 2025 @ 9:22 am
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@4 As best I can figure, it was a fat-fingered satirist who missed the “U” and nailed the “H”. Must have been a in-house hater tho, Wayne would not have made that error-or left of the prefix-ified lower-case “t”.
Comment by austin dave — October 14, 2025 @ 9:22 am