CURIOUS INDEX, 10/14/08
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It’s getting dusty in here. Listen to a Clemson fan completely lose their shit at the 1:00 mark. It’s not the Gundy-fun way, either, but that awful thing people do when their eyes begin to spout water, their breathing gets labored, and everyone in the room just wants to pull a ninja smoke bomb out and disappear. That thing called…what is it…yes, crying like a scalded infant.
Internet law, repeated: If it’s in Wikipedia, it must be true, especially if it’s about a storied football program and their coach after a loss to Toledo. Toledo players, btw, honored the achievement of being the first MAC team to beat Michigan ever by getting arrested in a fight involving “about forty people.” In case you’re wondering at what point a “brawl” crosses over into being a “riot,” we’ll just establish a little rule right now: it’s at approximately forty people. He took a knee for a 67 yard TD. Sometimes another team is so inept you can’t help but score, as was the case when Naples High beat pitiable Estero High 91-0 this past weekend. Do not blame Naples: Estero doesn’t, as Naples only ran 31 plays the entire night and had backbenchers in for the second half. “Hey,” offered Estero defensive line coach Pat Hayes after the one-sided affair, “I didn’t even know 91 was a multiple of seven.” Let’s hope he doesn’t teach math, and instead has the customary “History/Civics/sleeping with senior student” slot reserved for coaches at most high schools. FIU: Un-awful! Bruce Feldman has an informative list of spectacular turnarounds and includes the unlikely but accurate pick of FIU, the consensus Donkey Prize winner for Worst Team in D-1, who currently has a three-game win streak going. All credit to Ned for showing the way to Badass Lane for the Panthers. Brandon Tate, out. The Tarheels’ explosive returner and wideout is gone for the season. |
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Just as heartbreaking - Dickie Lyons, Jr.’s college career is over. As much as I always want UF to beat UK, he was still incredible to watch. An incredibly talented athlete.
Comment by hobeg8r — October 14, 2025 @ 9:21 am
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Just as heartbreaking - Dickie Lyons, Jr.’s college career is over. As much as I always want UF to beat UK, he was still incredible to watch. An incredibly talented athlete.
Comment by hobeg8r — October 14, 2025 @ 9:21 am
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Our football coach taught health and PE. We finished up with the health curriculum a day early, and he decided he still had to teach us something on the last day of class. So Coach Nestor attempted to teach us how to calculate square roots the way he had learned back in the early 40s-by hand.
Of course, he had completely forgotten how, and he kept getting sqrt(2) to come out to 1.5 exactly. It would have been kinda sad if he wasn’t the kind of guy who made fun of himself the whole time he was doing it.
Comment by Chuck — October 14, 2025 @ 9:18 am
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I swear to God I had nothing to do with that wiki entry. If Toledo was the worst loss in UM history, what was App St? Lets call them 1-A and 1-AA.
Comment by Crabapple Buck — October 14, 2025 @ 9:17 am
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91-0 aint ****. In texas our games are 102-96
Comment by ThreenOut — October 14, 2025 @ 9:15 am
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My high school’s D Coordinator taught geometry, and answered every single question in class with, “Let’s read example 1A…” It was a beautiful thing.
Also, once he failed enough at D Coordinator he became the O Coordinator. And somehow our team was good. Woo high school football.
Comment by TJ — October 14, 2025 @ 9:13 am
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Prolly gonna sound ignorant here, but what’s OSH?
Also that “I didn’t realize 91 was a multiple of 7″ quote was the funniest thing I’ve heard all week.
Comment by PW — October 14, 2025 @ 9:12 am
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Michigan sucks this year, no doubt about that. But, why do I get the feeling that they will still beat Penn State this weekend to continue PSU’s 11 or 12 year losing streak to UMich.
Comment by aventius — October 14, 2025 @ 9:05 am
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Poor Michigan. First its App State, now Toledo. What’s next? Slippery Rock?
Comment by yoyofutbawl — October 14, 2025 @ 9:01 am
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I like to go to the ocean to cry. It’s the one place that makes my tears seem small.
Comment by dirt sandwich — October 14, 2025 @ 8:57 am