No one excels in the rapid production of taunting memorabilia like the state of Alabama. See the example below for all the evidence you’ll need that even the arrest of T.J. Elder, Alabama defensive tackle, for screwing up his entire life for $26 stolen off two scared-shitless undergrads…well, even that’s an occasion for spiteful merchandising.
(HT: TB)
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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1
Where are the drunken Colquitt Ts?
Comment by Will (the other one) — February 21, 2025 @ 1:32 pm
2
first LOL of the day… Parole Tide!
Comment by DC Trojan — February 21, 2025 @ 1:36 pm
3
What the hell did he need $26 for? Two undergrads at Alabama are probably the last people you want to hit up for cash.
Comment by BurritoBrosShits — February 21, 2025 @ 1:39 pm
4
Bitches don’t know about my $26.
Comment by Regular Soul Singer — February 21, 2025 @ 1:45 pm
5
Still better than Jason Berryman.
Comment by wilbur — February 21, 2025 @ 1:46 pm
6
you wont see this at the Barn or UT, they get paid better
Comment by rollntider — February 21, 2025 @ 1:59 pm
7
Couldn’t he have politely asked a booster for $2,600?
Comment by Brian — February 21, 2025 @ 2:01 pm
8
Ok…that *is* funny…not ha ha funny, but “bitches, we’re gonna’ make an 85-man roster” funny.
Comment by Der Schatten — February 21, 2025 @ 2:06 pm
9
Its paroling baby.
Comment by Kenny — February 21, 2025 @ 2:13 pm
10
This is in response to the Auburn “Blocks the Chops” T-shirts
Comment by ThreenOut — February 21, 2025 @ 2:14 pm
11
If we had a player make an attempt at armed robbery, the weapon would be an illegal chop block, not a weak ass semi automatic pistol.
Comment by Wregl — February 21, 2025 @ 2:25 pm
12
Tray Blackmon thinks parole is cool…
Comment by Greenie — February 21, 2025 @ 2:27 pm
13
If cops hadn’t looked the other way during the Cadillac years we could have been blessed with “I ass-raped a 90 year old man” t-shirts. But as it is he’s making millions (Cadillac, not the old man).
Comment by hawg fang — February 21, 2025 @ 2:28 pm
14
“Tray Blackmon thinks parole is cool…”
Tray Blackmon has never served a prison sentence.
Comment by MiseanAuFan — February 21, 2025 @ 2:32 pm
15
Neither has Elder..
Comment by Greenie — February 21, 2025 @ 2:37 pm
16
Nick Saban doesn’t have time for this shi(r)t.
Comment by Brian "Hung Like Reggie F'n Nelson" — February 21, 2025 @ 2:37 pm
17
26 bucks is 26 bucks. It is what it is, Aight?
Comment by rtider — February 21, 2025 @ 2:40 pm
18
#11
Tray Blackmon thinks your ribcage looks squishy. Elder should have talked to him about how to properly assault somebody before he stepped out the back door of the athletic dorm. If it had been Blackmon, the victims woulnd’t have remembered shit.
Comment by sonofsamford — February 21, 2025 @ 2:41 pm
19
“Tray Blackmon has never served a prison sentence.”
Its not for lack of trying on his part.
Comment by Govemit Cheese — February 21, 2025 @ 2:41 pm
20
Tray Blackmon would’ve given the 26 dollars back and then tackled the students for being so poor…
Comment by Rando — February 21, 2025 @ 2:42 pm
21
This was a step in the right direction for Elder. Relative to the process of ruining your shot at football for life.
Comment by Tarpon — February 21, 2025 @ 2:44 pm
22
Robert Baker REALLY thinks parole is cool….
Comment by Greenie — February 21, 2025 @ 2:45 pm
23
“Neither has Elder..”
Not yet.
“Robert Baker REALLY thinks parole is cool….”
Yes, he does. Terry Bowden was good for that sorta thing.
Comment by MiseanAuFan — February 21, 2025 @ 2:48 pm
24
Word on the street is that Julio Jones witnessed the crime and will testify in court. In the right place at the right time baby
Comment by Wregl — February 21, 2025 @ 2:48 pm
25
He should have just called Perrilloux and asked him to warm the printers up.
Comment by Govemit Cheese — February 21, 2025 @ 2:49 pm
26
JPW has a worse record than Blackmon (not just talking in terms of W’s and L’s).
Comment by MiseanAuFan — February 21, 2025 @ 2:51 pm
27
Kevin Sears can’t spell parole but hears it is pretty cool…
Comment by Greenie — February 21, 2025 @ 2:53 pm
28
Robert Baker now goes by the name “Shake Severs.”
http://tinyurl.com/33k3hd
Comment by sonofsamford — February 21, 2025 @ 2:56 pm
29
Hey, thanks for stealing my design off the bunker. At least give me some credit. Who knows maybe someone emailed it to you.
Great design…..$1 to myself.
Comment by stuhlman135 — February 21, 2025 @ 3:01 pm
30
“Hey, thanks for stealing my design off the bunker”
I LOLD
Attention Everyone!
internet celebrity stuhlman135 has done it again, this time creating an absolutely STUNNING design for a t-shirt and I demand he gets credit for it STAT
Comment by 3rd — February 21, 2025 @ 3:11 pm
31
“Tray Blackmon has never served a prison sentence.”
Hey, neither had O.J. until he stole some memorabilia…
Comment by Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive — February 21, 2025 @ 3:33 pm
32
Yeah, I’ve always equated public intox with double homicide.
Comment by weagle251 — February 21, 2025 @ 3:43 pm
33
“internet celebrity stuhlman135 has done it again, this time creating an absolutely STUNNING design for a t-shirt and I demand he gets credit for it STAT”
Yes, I’m a legend in my own mind. Thank you.
Comment by stuhlman135 — February 21, 2025 @ 4:22 pm
34
Dayum that neck is white!
Comment by Brian O'Blivion — February 21, 2025 @ 4:34 pm
35
T.J. is obvously a moron in that he ignored the grand worth of coke that most Bama frat guys carry.
Comment by lance harbor — February 21, 2025 @ 4:55 pm
36
It’s all part of the PROCESS.
Comment by Tony the Tiger — February 21, 2025 @ 5:12 pm
37
@16:
Comment of the week, Brian. Comment of the week.
Comment by Big Ten Joe — February 21, 2025 @ 5:26 pm
38
The beautiful thing about it was the thug’s choice of headgear.
From the Associated Press:
“The newspaper said the student alleging Elder robbed him of $26 at gunpoint Saturday night identified the Crimson Tide football player Sunday on video security footage taken at Bryant Hall, the athletic dorm. Court filings alleged that the suspect, wearing a checkered white and black baseball cap with the letter “A,” headed toward the rear of Bryant Hall after the robbery.”
Comment by gurn — February 21, 2025 @ 6:07 pm
39
In accordance with Coach Nick Saban’s discipline policy, Elder will be seeing the field no later that the third game of the season. Any serious suspension is reserved only for a successful assasination of an elected official; federal elected official, that is.
Comment by Wes — February 21, 2025 @ 6:44 pm
40
Let me translate that into English: “Have $26. Elder has.”
Comment by Dave — February 21, 2025 @ 8:49 pm
41
I went to TJ Elder Elementary & TJ Elder Jr High back in the day. Obviously not named for this asshat.
Comment by CLTDawg — February 21, 2025 @ 8:59 pm
42
God that is beautiful…the Criminal Tide at it again.
Comment by The Artist Formerly Known as tOSUBuckeyes — February 21, 2025 @ 9:38 pm
43
To see the way these boogers act, you’d think alabama had won 6 in a row.
Comment by EZ — February 21, 2025 @ 10:26 pm
44
You’re a sad bastard….
Comment by CARTER — February 22, 2025 @ 1:37 am
45
How could he jack someone with only $26, WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING DOWN THERE?!!!
Comment by slammer — February 22, 2025 @ 9:22 am
46
He shoulda ganked Lyn Lang or one of the HS coaches in Alabama on the REC payroll. Lot more lucrative.
Comment by Plainsman — February 22, 2025 @ 9:54 am
47
So…Do we not get a link as to where to purchase this beautiful t-shirt?
I must own it.
Comment by Chad — February 22, 2025 @ 11:55 am
48
From the Home Office in Marietta, GA, War Eagle Atlanta’s Top Ten Reasons Why Jeremy Elder Committed Armed Robbery on Campus at Tuscaloosa:
10) Wanted to get more attention with all those blue chippers coming in.
9) The Houndstooth cap made him do it.
Just getting some extra workouts until spring drills start.
7) Secret role model is Ryan Perrilloux.
6) $26 goes a long way at the student cafeteria.
5) The bitch set me up!
4) Wanted to move from strong safety to strong-armer.
3) Wanted to start preparing for a life after football.
2) Lab practical for Criminology 101.
And the number one reason:
1) Shula robbed Alabama of four YEARS, what’s robbing a little cash gonna hurt?
Comment by War Eagle Atlanta — February 22, 2025 @ 1:45 pm
49
Ha ha, we’ve robbed Alabama the last 6yrs…….for less than $26 bucks dollars
Comment by WarTeagle — February 22, 2025 @ 6:10 pm
50
26 dollars bucks dollars? Tell me, where did ya get yer edumakation at?
Comment by BigBear — February 24, 2025 @ 7:36 pm