HOW TO SAY I LOVE YOU, TIGER-STYLE
The Auburner has this year’s crop of Valentine’s Day cards, and they’re marvelous as usual. Be sure to complete the Auburn V-Day ritual by giving your main squeeze a coupon for four points off two safeties in the third quarter, a hug with a Bobby Lowder Limited Edition Victorionox Knife In the Back, and then jump sideways into their knee and claim it was accidental.
Our favorite:
Note that last one? Do ya, huh? See what they’re doing there? Eh?
1
Obviously this is a dead horse, and I know it will truly never stop. But when will the chop block jabs end?
Are we to assume CTT and Hugh Nall have been coaching college football together for over a decade and all of a sudden decided to start playing dirty or just now got caught (after how many nationally televised games?)? I guess it’s just plain silly to assume a true freshman could actually mess up on a blocking assignment and go low when he was supposed to go high, right?
Yes, I know it was twice this year - but zero since these two started working together at Ole Miss in 1997 says something as well.
/rant
Comment by TIGERinATL — February 14, 2025 @ 11:03 am
2
Is the Auburner guy related to Dr. Greg Burns or Dave “The Zinger” Clinger?
oooooh, ya burn!!!
zing!
Comment by Rival — February 14, 2025 @ 11:05 am
3
Two interceptions in the end zone before halftime…two game changing plays. ho hum….
Comment by bamafanintigerland — February 14, 2025 @ 11:07 am
4
New rules coming out on chop blocks.
Auburn will still reward helmut thickers for this integral component of the o-line scheme.
Comment by 89tiger — February 14, 2025 @ 11:12 am
5
Princess Toadhottie alert.
Comment by ThreenOut — February 14, 2025 @ 11:14 am
6
“Obviously this is a dead horse, and I know it will truly never stop. But when will the chop block jabs end?”
when they stop doing them.
Comment by kleph — February 14, 2025 @ 11:25 am
7
Which cupcake is that team on the far right of the card?
Oh. Wait. It’s Alabama. Right.
Comment by gurn — February 14, 2025 @ 11:29 am
8
George Tech Valentine’s day card:
“My Johnson knows your the best option!”
Hooray for being low brow.
Comment by Brian — February 14, 2025 @ 11:30 am
9
It’s always silly to assume, rube.
Comment by Unhappy Monkey — February 14, 2025 @ 11:31 am
10
TIGERinATL
Its like we tell the Michigan fans - The beatings will continue until morale improves.
In other words, like Kleph alluded to, stop chop blocking.
Comment by Crabapple Buck — February 14, 2025 @ 11:32 am
11
What? No Temple?
Comment by Ground0EastLansing — February 14, 2025 @ 11:37 am
12
Georgia related:
If you feel like loving me
If you’ve got the Knowshon
I second that emotion
Comment by Biggus Rickus — February 14, 2025 @ 11:39 am
13
HAHAHA THOSE GUYS ON THAT WEBSITE PUT ALABAMA IN WITH SOME SHITTY TEAMS ON A CARD!! CALLING THEM CUPCAKES WHICH I AM ASSUMING REFERS TO THE TERM CUPCAKE MEANING AN EASY TEAM!!11! HAHAHA LOLZ HAHAHA ROFLMAO!!!!
Comment by Tater Salad — February 14, 2025 @ 11:40 am
14
Got it.
Freshmen linemen always get the blocking assignment right and 10+ years of clean play/coaching doesn’t speak to one’s ethics.
Thank you all so much for clearing that up.
Comment by TIGERinATL — February 14, 2025 @ 11:43 am
15
Assuming Lowder’s Victorinox is a Swiss Army knife, what other implements would he have at his disposal in addition to the back-stabber? A universal jet key? A crow bar to separate his female offspring from coaches named Bowden? A blow gun with poisoned dart labeled “CTT?”
Comment by Dinknflicka — February 14, 2025 @ 11:48 am
16
#15
a money clip
Comment by TIGERinATL — February 14, 2025 @ 11:52 am
17
Are Auburn players going to have to take their cleats off and stick out their big toe after winning the 2012 game?
Comment by John — February 14, 2025 @ 11:53 am
18
“HAHAHA THOSE GUYS ON THAT WEBSITE PUT ALABAMA IN WITH SOME SHITTY TEAMS ON A CARD!! CALLING THEM CUPCAKES WHICH I AM ASSUMING REFERS TO THE TERM CUPCAKE MEANING AN EASY TEAM!!11! HAHAHA LOLZ HAHAHA ROFLMAO!!!!”
You’re right, instead of Alabama, they should have put La-Monore. Oh wait, nevermind.
Comment by MiseanAuFan — February 14, 2025 @ 11:54 am
19
#15 - Jets don’t have keys, you may be surprised to find out. You have to leave the door open or you can’t get in. And there’s no starter key.
Comment by Brian — February 14, 2025 @ 11:54 am
20
#12- niiiice.
Comment by Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive — February 14, 2025 @ 11:57 am
21
Biggus:
Outstanding.
Comment by Tater Salad — February 14, 2025 @ 11:59 am
22
“TIGERinATL
Its like we tell the Michigan fans - The beatings will continue until morale improves.”
W 1/1/2026 vs. Florida (9-4) 41 35 @ Orlando, FL Capital One Bowl
W 9/2/2025 vs. Vanderbilt (4-8) 27 7
W 1/1/2026 vs. Florida (8-5) 38 30 @ Tampa, FL Outback Bowl
L 1/1/2026 vs. Tennessee (11-2) 17 45 @ Orlando, FL Citrus Bowl
W 1/1/2026 vs. Auburn (9-4) 31 28 @ Orlando, FL Citrus Bowl
W 1/1/2026 vs. Alabama (10-3) 35 34 @ Miami, FL Orange Bowl
W 1/1/2026 vs. Arkansas (9-3) 45 31 @ Orlando, FL Citrus Bowl
Yes, the beatings have been brutal.
Comment by D L — February 14, 2025 @ 12:10 pm
23
I see Victorinox but what I really want to see is Vercingetorix.
Comment by Anonymous IV — February 14, 2025 @ 12:13 pm
24
stupid barners are just jealous of our recent National Championship
Comment by mp — February 14, 2025 @ 12:15 pm
25
Gallic Wars references…nice.
Comment by robert — February 14, 2025 @ 12:19 pm
26
World Record Dept:
23 posts and not a “Nick Saban does not have time for this bull@#%” crack.
Must be a world record.
Comment by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me — February 14, 2025 @ 12:20 pm
27
South Florida isn’t on that card….
/ponder
Comment by Xaryn — February 14, 2025 @ 12:20 pm
28
ND Bashing Dept:
That card would have been funnier if there would have been a picture of a Domie in there somewhere.
Comment by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me — February 14, 2025 @ 12:22 pm
29
#26 - USF isn’t a cupcake to anyone.
#27 - AU hasn’t played ND (ever I think)
Comment by TIGERinATL — February 14, 2025 @ 12:35 pm
30
D L @ 22
I see reading comprehension is not the strong suit in Michigan. I was referring to tOSU domination of UM since the arrival of the vest. Nice record vs. the SEC though. If tOSU had that success we would have had one or two more MNC’s.
Comment by Crabapple Buck — February 14, 2025 @ 12:52 pm
31
@ 17
We Auburners might start counting with toes, but that’s just to show bammers how they can count past ten…
Comment by Rando — February 14, 2025 @ 1:17 pm
32
Chop Block Posse!!!
Keepin’ Ortho’s in Bidness since 2007.
Comment by NewAZTiger — February 14, 2025 @ 1:21 pm
33
Again, comment #32 shows why NewAZTiger runs this shit.
Comment by Orson Swindle — February 14, 2025 @ 1:22 pm
34
Chop Block Posse is also a new Cash Money compilation.
Comment by robert — February 14, 2025 @ 1:31 pm
35
Nick Saban does not have time for this shit
Comment by haybeav — February 14, 2025 @ 1:33 pm
36
Time to return to obscurity, Awbrin. The perfect storm that lead to your “prominence” (see “People’s National Champions”) on the national stage has blown over.
Comment by Keith Hodges — February 14, 2025 @ 1:50 pm
37
Biggus -
Got anything for Washaun yet?
58 TD’s, 11YPC - “My God, he’s just a junior!” (in high school).
Comment by NRBQ — February 14, 2025 @ 2:04 pm
38
#36
Skarbinski had a good line in the Birmingham News the other day:
“The 2004 Auburn football team won the People’s National Championship, for going 13-0, and Alabama fans laughed and talked smack.
The 2008 Alabama football program won the Paper National Championship, for signing the top recruiting class, and Alabama fans again are laughing and talking smack.
There can be only one explanation for this.
Alabama fans love to laugh and talk smack.”
Comment by TIGERinATL — February 14, 2025 @ 2:10 pm
39
#36 - Obscurity? #13 all-time wins, and it would’ve been higher had we chop blocked Glen Dorsey back in the 1970s.
Comment by NewAZTiger — February 14, 2025 @ 2:12 pm
40
NRBQ,
Every move you make
Every breath you take
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I’ll be Washaun you
Too stalkery for Valentine’s Day?
Comment by Biggus Rickus — February 14, 2025 @ 2:22 pm
41
Or,
Every score you make,
Every hand-off you take,
Every move you fake,
etc……
(had to stop myself)
Comment by NRBQ — February 14, 2025 @ 2:35 pm
42
Tennessee Tech has some badass unis. That’s all I got.
Comment by Mosby — February 14, 2025 @ 2:41 pm
43
The chop block jokes continue because:
1.) They were high profile (largely because CBS went indescribably ape shit over it)
2.) People looking for reasons to bash Auburn, because that’s what rival fans do.
The fact that there were plenty of other called and uncalled chop blocks (including about 87 by OU in the Fiesta Bowl) throughout the season doesn’t matter. The fact that there’s no way to rationalize it was coached doesn’t matter. To think they will stop “when the chop blocks stop” is silly.
They will stop when the joke gets old. (As you can see, even the Nick Saban/shit joke is wearing thin.) To that end, Auburn fans should follow NewAZTiger’s lead and make chop block jokes their own. Run that bitch into the ground.
Comment by ChemE93 — February 14, 2025 @ 2:41 pm
44
ChemE93, I’m on my way to your house right now with Chaz Ramsey and Lee Ziemba. We’re going to Chop Block you, and your fake plastic plant. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Comment by NewAZTiger — February 14, 2025 @ 2:46 pm
45
#44
You should take Key Ramsey with you. All your ACL is belong to us.
Comment by imisscollege — February 14, 2025 @ 3:04 pm
46
yeah… going ape shit over the chop blocks CAN’T have anything to do with the fact that they were OBVIOUS AS HELL.
and for the record, I have yet to come into contact with any Auburn bashers other than Bama fans. for what it’s worth…
Comment by Word — February 14, 2025 @ 3:46 pm
47
NewAZTiger, I will spear the shit out of you if you try something like that. Then I’ll chop block your poodle.
That’s just how us Aubie’s roll.
Comment by ChemE93 — February 14, 2025 @ 3:54 pm
48
The nick saban not having “time for this shit” joke has not gotten old yet…
yet…. being the key word.
a well timed Saban/shit joke is priceless
Comment by IrishguyKY — February 14, 2025 @ 10:34 pm
49
I’ll chop-block your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.
Comment by NewAZTiger — February 14, 2025 @ 11:38 pm
50
I tried to go get coffee this morning and two Barners not only chop blocked me, once I got up for the next play, they pulled the ol’ 3 stooges move where ” one barner gets on all fours behind the knees of the victim, and the other guy simply pushes the victim backwards over the barner, kinda like a Double Double chop block….then they did this like 6 times in a row……til I recruited some more help, then the Barners went and called in talk radio shows telling them the help I got they didnt want. or even need…….
Comment by Mr Pelican Pants — February 15, 2025 @ 12:51 am
51
Actually, they should bring back the Chop Block and the Crack-Back, since they are making the game shorter and all……lets go all old school and just get the Tear Away jerseys…..that way you have to have eyes on your knees and in the back of your head, and no fair catch rule either, thats bullshit……whats more fun than running full speed at a guy standing still trying to catch a ball and you can knock him senseless whether he has the ball or not, kinda like hockey
Comment by Mr Pelican Pants — February 15, 2025 @ 12:56 am
52
They should also bring back Milli Vanilli.
Who cares if one of them is dead? It’s never stopped Alabama.
Comment by NewAZTiger — February 15, 2025 @ 8:23 am
53
Pelican Pants, I love that blocking scheme. I’ll have to call Coach Nall and have Auburn implement it immediately. Before long, defensive line coaches will be teaching their players to hold their hands in front of their face to avoid the Moe Eye Poke (TM, Virginia Tech’s defense).
Hey, NewAZTiger — so what’s that make us?
Comment by ChemE93 — February 15, 2025 @ 9:08 am
54
“Freshman linemen yada yada yada……………….”
Whhhiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……………..
Keep spinnin.
Comment by JohnInHuntsville — February 15, 2025 @ 9:25 am
55
^^Bama chop blocked Dorsey, too. If you watched the game on TV, they showed a replay in slo-mo, and the commentators even mentioned it.
Comment by MiseanAuFan — February 15, 2025 @ 9:44 am
56
NewAZTiger: 1000 cocktails … and knee braces for your efforts here.
Comment by Kenny — February 15, 2025 @ 3:02 pm
57
Hey….Fuck you buddy!
Comment by SpookyJuice — February 16, 2025 @ 3:24 pm
58
When referring to Chaz (who in the blue fuck names their kid/proudly goes by the name Chaz) Ramsey, please use his proper name, Dorsey’s little prison bitch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-LkCvNK2iM
You sit when you piss, bitch!!!!!!!
Comment by Joshua — February 18, 2025 @ 9:03 am