IT’S GOOD BEING CHRIS RAINEY.
Willie Williams recruiting opus-hidden behind the chintzy pay wall of the Miami Herald, but not forgotten-doesn’t really have an equal. It’s like Con Air: you might have thought you saw a better movie, and then realized you had, and then remembered: oh, yeah, it’s because I just rewatched Con Air.
For sheer recruiting-corruption-in-a-single-quote power, though, we might have a new winner: Chris Rainey, a top Florida running back and Gator verbal commit who may have scotched his amateur status in a single clumsy excerpt from a Miami Herald article.
Chris Rainey, Lakeland’s star senior running back, told The Miami Herald he received sports jerseys and jewelry from a Lakeland clothing vendor in exchange for an autograph. He also said he received cash from an unknown elderly woman. (HT: Mike, AUAlum, Chris, Elkon, and the fifteen other people who saw this before we did.)
”I didn’t even count it,” Rainey said in a story published Tuesday. ‘When I walk around, people are buying me food, giving me money. I’m like, `Damn, I’m glad I’m Chris Rainey. It’s real nice to be me.’ ”
We’d only contest one fact about the story: Rainey sounds like he’s saying “dang,” a la Joe Dirt, not damn.
Dang, indeed.
What the article leaves out that’s included in the audio is even better. After Rainey says this, the reporter says, “That’s awesome,” and eggs on Rainey to tell him more about the benefits of being a Lakeland High School football player. Dang, it’s good to be a reporter when a clueless high school kid stumbles face first into the wood-chipper of his corrupt football program. Listen to the audio for the full effect. Dang.
1
Can’t a brother get a hat tip?
Comment by AUAlum — December 6, 2025 @ 4:02 pm
2
Apologies-done.
Comment by Orson Swindle — December 6, 2025 @ 4:07 pm
3
Don’t let ‘em catch you riding dirty Chris!
Comment by glacialspeed — December 6, 2025 @ 4:09 pm
4
Orson, look:
You seem like a nice guy. Funny, well educated, and best of all—you love college football. So here’s my beef…
I stumbled upon this site earlier this year, and found it so wonderful that I rooted for the Gators all year in the hope that they might be matched up with the Buckeyes in the MNC. Apparently, I was foolishly deluding myself into thinking that such an event would lead to 5 weeks of wall to wall EDSBS skewerings of tOSU.
I NEED CLOSURE!!! I NEED CHEATY MCSWEATERVEST REFERENCES!!! MAURICE CLARETT! ART SCHLICTER! ANDY KATZENMOYER!!!!!
There’s only so much SEC-centrism a northern boy can take.
Anxiously awaiting a Position-by-Position Factor Six,
TGdE
Comment by Ted Ginn did Everythin' — December 6, 2025 @ 4:10 pm
5
Oh, just wait. Until, say, tomorrow, sir.
Comment by Orson Swindle — December 6, 2025 @ 4:21 pm
6
I don’t guess Mr. Rainey will be catching shovel passes at Florida Field any time soon, eh?
“I got the poo on me!”
Comment by Mr. Wrong — December 6, 2025 @ 4:24 pm
7
Who gave him free clothes? “You know, that guy down on Memorial on Saturday mornings, there on the right? You can’t miss him.”
Surely, Chris, surely we cannot miss him…. with our cars.
Comment by Let's_Run_Over_Lionel_Ritchie_With_A_Tank — December 6, 2025 @ 4:25 pm
8
Sounds like Rainey will fit in real nice … oh, my bad, he didn’t say anyone gave him a joint.
Seriously though, isn’t it ironic that at a school like Fla State you can steal the clothes and continue playing football on a schollie, but if someone gives the clothes to you for free the NCAA declares you ineligible … WTF is up with that? I guess the message is, if “you a playa”, use the five finger discount …
Comment by nd1990 — December 6, 2025 @ 4:39 pm
9
If this guy somehow ends up playing for Urrrbaannnn on Saturdays, Florida should be investigated by the NCAA. Something tells me a passing SAT/ACT score and requisite GPA is not in this man’s future by legitimate means.
Thank God for academic standards and the Robot Genius.
Comment by Irish Guy — December 6, 2025 @ 4:40 pm
10
I would verify this “Guy on Memorial on Saturday Mornings”, but having spent 22 years of my life in Lakeland, I know better than to or above Memorial Blvd.
Ever. Not even the best buy up by I-4 is worth driving through that hell hole. Only people who came out of there alive are Ray Lewis, Rod Smart (AKA: He Hate Me), and Chris Richards. All scary black dudes if there ever were any.
However, it is nice to finally get some closure on why LHS was so much better than my highschool. It’s not that our entire football team was made up of rich suburban white kids, it’s that the community wouldn’t pay enough in free Nike Shox and Micheal Vick jerseys to draw in the talent.
Comment by Yant — December 6, 2025 @ 4:43 pm
11
Agreed, IrishGuy. We might need a tutor for Rainey, provided he actually qualifies to get into UF. Is Tony Rice available?
Comment by Orson Swindle — December 6, 2025 @ 4:43 pm
12
And I was all set to make Chris my lawya.
He was damn amazing against a pretty good Mainland team last week. He looked faster than anyone else on the field, and there were some fast kids out there.
Comment by BDoc — December 6, 2025 @ 4:44 pm
13
Yant:
If you’re gonna come here spewing your racist venom, at least get his name right. It’s Chris Richard.
Comment by kidproquo — December 6, 2025 @ 4:50 pm
14
D’oh! That’s a forehead smacker for Florida. And Orson, you’re right about the reporter, it was pretty obvious that he was just barely choking back laughter while this kid torpedoed his career.
Comment by Mike — December 6, 2025 @ 4:55 pm
15
Mike, the snapping of his eyebrows upward is audible on the clip. He probably had to hold his laptop in front of him to cover the chubby he sprang when Rainey said that.
And if you’ve seen most sportswriters, that’s the most disturbing image you’ll have all day. Use that when you’re looking for delaying visualizations with the missus tonight.
Comment by Orson Swindle — December 6, 2025 @ 5:02 pm
16
Mark my words. The next unsolicited booster gift this kid needs is Maurice Clarett’s lint roller.
Comment by DevilGrad — December 6, 2025 @ 5:11 pm
17
As a Minnesotan who watched the Clem Haskins fiasco…Damage control, people!!
The clothing and watch was from Steve and Barry’s. It’s worth $50, tops. The wad of cash the lady gave him was actually 3 one’s and some coupons for shake and bake. And it was at McDonalds. So if Mr. Rainey pays about $60 in restitution to the charity of it’s choosing (like Myles Brand’s retirement fund), he’ll be catching those shovel passes in no time.
Comment by Fire Glen Mason — December 6, 2025 @ 5:16 pm
18
DevilGrad - Thanks for remembering the almighty lint roller.
Comment by tOSU_radar — December 6, 2025 @ 5:20 pm
19
I don’t know about free Nikes. This sounds like free faux-jerseys-from-a-cardboard-box to me. You know those guys outside stadiums who hawk unlicensed junk? Or the Uncle Ricos selling “rugs” (scare-quotes used to indicate lack of real rug-like features) from the back of the van across the street from the flea market? (Seriously? You can’t afford the stall fee and have to set up ACROSS from the friggin’ FLEA MARKET?)
Gator Boosters? More like locals hoping to make a friend. A friend who might play in the NFL someday. And yet, a friend who doesn’t get the whole NCAA thing.
Alas, poor Rainey, we knew him well.
Comment by Panhandler — December 6, 2025 @ 5:22 pm
20
I need to start referring to myself in the third person. Although, while it is generally good to be JD, people are giving me free stuff, so maybe I’m not third person worthy.
Comment by JD — December 6, 2025 @ 6:05 pm
21
People aren’t giving my free stuff.
Comment by JD — December 6, 2025 @ 6:06 pm
22
So basically, this reporter ruined a kid’s entire life for no reason?
Comment by Rob G — December 6, 2025 @ 6:11 pm
23
no, the reporter did his job, REPORTING.
The kid ruined his own life when he accepted free stuff and was stupid enough to brag about it to a damn reporter.
Anyone that dumb should be in prison. It should be against the law to be that stupid.
Comment by manhesdumb — December 6, 2025 @ 6:23 pm
24
So basically, this reporter ruined a kid’s entire life for no reason?
Anyone who is that blindingly, mind-numbingly stupid doesn’t have much of a life to look forward to. Maybe this might be enough to point him in the right direction.
Or at least teach him when to keep his yap shut.
Comment by TomB — December 6, 2025 @ 6:40 pm
25
Stupid is as stupid does.
So Orson, referring to #5, will we also get some ribbing on Escalades?
Also don’t forget that introductory business administration class that is a joint venture between the accounting and athletic departments at tOSU; you know the one where you learn how to properly inflate insurance claims?
Comment by Southern Papa — December 6, 2025 @ 6:46 pm
26
Southern Papa, there obviously is no such class otherwise Maurice never would have started on his slide to the jailhouse.
I agree the kid sounds seriously dumb, but I’m sure a little restitution will solve all. I mean it’s not like this year’s Heisman winner took anything.
Comment by oc phil — December 6, 2025 @ 6:52 pm
27
OC Phil.
Agree on the kid paying restitution. Heck, if all the former Odessa Permian (Friday Night Lights) kids had to say no to freebies, that would really kill the economy of the Permian Basin.
As for the other, I think Maurice was in the remedial class; didn’t make it to the full blown version before he stepped across the threshold of the house of the downward slide. But, according to Orson, we’ll all be able to jump on the ‘Slam tOSU’ bandwagon in tomorrow’s edition.
Comment by Southern Papa — December 6, 2025 @ 6:57 pm
28
Funny you mention Tony Rice. I think four of the last six times I was on the golf course I ran into him. (Cue Ty joke here).
Comment by Irish Guy — December 6, 2025 @ 7:08 pm
29
I know I did a TON of stupid shit when I was 17, but I didn’t have some jackass reporter trying to call me on it.
Young and stupid needs guidance, not a professional boosting his own stock by ruining the kid’s future. The only loser here is the kid himself.
What if he loses his amateur status? Sure, he learns not to talk to reporters…but he also loses his chance at a productive future.
Comment by Rob G — December 6, 2025 @ 7:10 pm
30
So I guess this means that UF is still without a legit running game.
Comment by NewAZTiger — December 6, 2025 @ 7:26 pm
31
Life is tough. It’s tougher if you’re stupid.
My wife went to high school with Tony Rice. She confirms that he was NOT a member of the National Honor Society.
Comment by Brandon Lang — December 6, 2025 @ 7:29 pm
32
Ouch.
Well it cannot be said of him that he was being all secretive about it. He is without guile.
I’m betting that a few good attorneys will be more than willing to work for a piece of the back end on that deal.
He’ll play.
He may still be about as articulate as Chaka, but he’ll play.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsGjZ9zEukM
Comment by PDXGoneGator — December 6, 2025 @ 7:56 pm
33
Wasn’t he referring to his situation 9 months ago before he was adopted by the Pouncys. Sounds like people were helping a kid who needed food and clothing. It’s not like they bought him a Infiiniti SUV.
Comment by Cruzer — December 6, 2025 @ 8:16 pm
34
Rob G,
He is not going to go to prison; he is not going to be shut out of football for life. Even if UF revokes his scholarship, he will still play football. If he really has NFL talent, he will play football at the D-1 level. He violated rules every athlete knows about and got caught because he was boisterous. There will be an investigation. The investigation will determine a $ value and frequency of events, and you’ll most likely see a 1 year suspension: maximum. That is not ruining his life. If anything, it will teach him lessons needed to STAY on a team and eventually reach the next level, because despite talent, it is pretty easy to get in the coaches doghouse and never play and eventually leave the team without a future.
Jimmy: “You know…Jimmy is pretty sweet on you.”
Elaine: “Aaaaaahhh! He is?!”
Jimmy: “Oh yeah!. Jimmy’s been watching you….you’re just Jimmy’s type.”
Elaine: “AAaaaaahhh! Really?”(giggles)
Jimmy: “Jimmy’s new in town. Jimmy hem ..doesn’t really know anyone.”
Elaine: “Oh! well I’d like, like to get to know him.”
Jimmy: “Jimmy would like to get to know you.”
Comment by jonsi — December 6, 2025 @ 9:27 pm
35
Orson, “It was all good baby” until the Tony Rice comment. Do you really want to match SAT’s and street smarts of your “Canes” light with the young gentlemen STUDENT athletes in South Bend?
Comment by Mac Daddy — December 6, 2025 @ 9:31 pm
36
Brandon - your implication that you have the inside scoop on Tony Rice because your wife went to HS with him is pathetic. I went to ND with Tony and we lived in the same dorm. No, that doesn’t make me an expert on his intelligence. But I can tell you from personal knowledge that he was articulate, funny and personable. He did not speak the gibberish that so many of the “student” athletes attending schools at more academically challenged schools spout these days. Notre Dame gave Tony Rice an opportunity and he made the most of it - both on the field and off of it. He has been an excellent ambassador for the school ever since. Think twice the next time you want to gratuitously trash someone.
Comment by ND1990 — December 6, 2025 @ 10:02 pm
37
In defense of Orson, ND1990, I don’t think he is any more to blame for repeating something that he has seen/hear/read about Tony Rice than we are for assuming Chris Rainey is unintelligent or not “articulate, funny and personable” after hearing a 90-second sound clip. Er, okay, let’s narrow that down to “funny and personable”.
Anyway, all in good fun, my man! Orson, keep up the good work!
Comment by Irish Guy — December 6, 2025 @ 10:15 pm
38
Meh. It’s Lakeland. That place is like a Mississippi enclave here in Florida. It’s just one giant pit of criminality. The Detroit Tigers hold spring training there because it reminds them of home.
Comment by tim in tampa — December 6, 2025 @ 11:57 pm
39
Just keep him away from the Israelis, those guys are clearly dangerous.
Comment by Mike — December 7, 2025 @ 1:37 am
40
“But he also loses his chance at a productive future.”
With all apologies to Orson and Stranko, this is the funniest thing I have read here in a few days. It’s funny because a honest person couldn’t artificially construct a more ironic and down right stupid sentence/opinion/Nation of Islam talking point.
Comment by Joshua — December 7, 2025 @ 1:52 am
41
Can we get Rainey DQ’d before Friday’s State Championship game? That is the only chance St. Thomas has of beating Lakeland. 3rd straight state title match for the two football powers…
Comment by IrishCane — December 7, 2025 @ 4:05 am
42
Easy there, ND1990. All I said was that Tony Rice was not a member of the NHS. The fact that he was a Prop 48 guy is well documented. I did not call him a babykiller or anything. In fact, I agree with your assessment of him, his personality, and his character.
A couple of years back I had the opportunity to spend some time with him at a function at his old high school. It was a bit of an odd event and we both had “speaking” roles, but I can tell you that he was, by far, the star of the show.
I admire his hard work and dedication. We joked that he was born about 15 years too early, as QBs with his talent were shunned by the NFL back then but are now popular. What I hate about Tony Rice is that he is the last ND QB to win a MNC. I would have liked to put that label on someone a lot younger than him (Quinn, for example.)
Comment by Brandon Lang — December 7, 2025 @ 7:02 am
43
The attorney for this kid Rainey is saying now that it was all a joke. I don’t think anyone is laughing.
Lakeland is supposed to decide today if they’re going to let the kid play. Normally, my thought would be to hold him out (as you could risk forfeiting the state championship game if he was to be found ineligible), but I imagine that they may have to forfeit their earlier games this season anyway-and that may cost him a title.
Comment by Black Bart — December 7, 2025 @ 9:21 am
44
Me thinks Tony Rice is ALWAYS “available,” in the same way that the B-52s are always available for your high school reunion.
Comment by NoleinTexas — December 7, 2025 @ 9:37 am
45
“How ’bout a wam-burger with your french cries!”
Comment by Dennis — December 7, 2025 @ 11:49 am
46
Look at the AOLSports blog note on this, and the entry from one James Barrios, esq. Something tells me James is one of Chris Rainey’s “lawyas,” dawg.
http://seahawks.aolsportsblog.com/2006/12/07/chris-rainey-maybe-not-the-recruit-you-were-looking-for/
Comment by Mark — December 7, 2025 @ 3:50 pm
47
Say all you want about how great ND is as an academic institution - FSU has had 3 Nobel Laureates work there - ND zero!
Comment by Big T — February 19, 2025 @ 8:05 pm
48
Nothing happened because it was just a stupid 17 year old running his mouth, trying to be a big man.
So all you Gator Haters will just have to try and find something else to pin your hopes on.
Football 2008 is coming and the Gators are loaded with talent.
Suck it, haters!
Comment by poo-bear — July 4, 2025 @ 1:39 pm