IT’S GOOD BEING CHRIS RAINEY.
Willie Williams recruiting opus-hidden behind the chintzy pay wall of the Miami Herald, but not forgotten-doesn’t really have an equal. It’s like Con Air: you might have thought you saw a better movie, and then realized you had, and then remembered: oh, yeah, it’s because I just rewatched Con Air.
For sheer recruiting-corruption-in-a-single-quote power, though, we might have a new winner: Chris Rainey, a top Florida running back and Gator verbal commit who may have scotched his amateur status in a single clumsy excerpt from a Miami Herald article.
Chris Rainey, Lakeland’s star senior running back, told The Miami Herald he received sports jerseys and jewelry from a Lakeland clothing vendor in exchange for an autograph. He also said he received cash from an unknown elderly woman. (HT: Mike, AUAlum, Chris, Elkon, and the fifteen other people who saw this before we did.)
”I didn’t even count it,” Rainey said in a story published Tuesday. ‘When I walk around, people are buying me food, giving me money. I’m like, `Damn, I’m glad I’m Chris Rainey. It’s real nice to be me.’ ”
We’d only contest one fact about the story: Rainey sounds like he’s saying “dang,” a la Joe Dirt, not damn.
Dang, indeed.
What the article leaves out that’s included in the audio is even better. After Rainey says this, the reporter says, “That’s awesome,” and eggs on Rainey to tell him more about the benefits of being a Lakeland High School football player. Dang, it’s good to be a reporter when a clueless high school kid stumbles face first into the wood-chipper of his corrupt football program. Listen to the audio for the full effect. Dang.
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20
I need to start referring to myself in the third person. Although, while it is generally good to be JD, people are giving me free stuff, so maybe I’m not third person worthy.
Comment by JD — December 6, 2025 @ 6:05 pm
19
I don’t know about free Nikes. This sounds like free faux-jerseys-from-a-cardboard-box to me. You know those guys outside stadiums who hawk unlicensed junk? Or the Uncle Ricos selling “rugs” (scare-quotes used to indicate lack of real rug-like features) from the back of the van across the street from the flea market? (Seriously? You can’t afford the stall fee and have to set up ACROSS from the friggin’ FLEA MARKET?)
Gator Boosters? More like locals hoping to make a friend. A friend who might play in the NFL someday. And yet, a friend who doesn’t get the whole NCAA thing.
Alas, poor Rainey, we knew him well.
Comment by Panhandler — December 6, 2025 @ 5:22 pm
18
DevilGrad - Thanks for remembering the almighty lint roller.
Comment by tOSU_radar — December 6, 2025 @ 5:20 pm
17
As a Minnesotan who watched the Clem Haskins fiasco…Damage control, people!!
The clothing and watch was from Steve and Barry’s. It’s worth $50, tops. The wad of cash the lady gave him was actually 3 one’s and some coupons for shake and bake. And it was at McDonalds. So if Mr. Rainey pays about $60 in restitution to the charity of it’s choosing (like Myles Brand’s retirement fund), he’ll be catching those shovel passes in no time.
Comment by Fire Glen Mason — December 6, 2025 @ 5:16 pm
16
Mark my words. The next unsolicited booster gift this kid needs is Maurice Clarett’s lint roller.
Comment by DevilGrad — December 6, 2025 @ 5:11 pm
15
Mike, the snapping of his eyebrows upward is audible on the clip. He probably had to hold his laptop in front of him to cover the chubby he sprang when Rainey said that.
And if you’ve seen most sportswriters, that’s the most disturbing image you’ll have all day. Use that when you’re looking for delaying visualizations with the missus tonight.
Comment by Orson Swindle — December 6, 2025 @ 5:02 pm
14
D’oh! That’s a forehead smacker for Florida. And Orson, you’re right about the reporter, it was pretty obvious that he was just barely choking back laughter while this kid torpedoed his career.
Comment by Mike — December 6, 2025 @ 4:55 pm
13
Yant:
If you’re gonna come here spewing your racist venom, at least get his name right. It’s Chris Richard.
Comment by kidproquo — December 6, 2025 @ 4:50 pm
12
And I was all set to make Chris my lawya.
He was damn amazing against a pretty good Mainland team last week. He looked faster than anyone else on the field, and there were some fast kids out there.
Comment by BDoc — December 6, 2025 @ 4:44 pm
11
Agreed, IrishGuy. We might need a tutor for Rainey, provided he actually qualifies to get into UF. Is Tony Rice available?
Comment by Orson Swindle — December 6, 2025 @ 4:43 pm