April 29, 2025

BCS MAKES CHANGES, ALLOWS NOTRE DAME TO PUT FEET ON COUCH AND BURP AT DINNER TABLE

We don’t know who’s in charge of the BCS, really, but whoever it is they sure do like them some Irish. Notre Dame, a small private school whose football program has been hovering around .500 for damn near a decade, will get an automatic bid if it finishes in the top eight to a BCS bowl and get consideration if they finish in the top 12. All because Notre Dame is an…hold on, had to step away from the keyboard to keep from typing the letters off the keys in anger…an independent.
Oh, but you’re not giving credit to the special role Notre Dame plays in college football, right? Damn straight we’re not. We’re not talking about an aristocracy, we’re talking about creating an open and fair competition. (Not that the BCS is all that interested in doing this, but humor us here.) By this logic, we should give automatic bids to programs of any importance who’ve fallen by the wayside simply because once, deep in the mists of time, they were very, very good. This is like giving Mongolia a seat on the UN Security Council in tribute to Genghis Khan.

SWAMP THINGS

In his ongoing attempt to put his stamp on the UF program, Urban Meyer asked the students to name their section in the Swamp. The winning name? “Swamp Things.” We weren’t so hot on the name initially, but it did remind us of the truly awesome movie of the same name. Which meant we decided to like the name, since Anything reminding us of Adrienne Barbeau is, by rule, a very good thing.

Adrienne Barbeau: if she let Swamp Thing touch her boob, you have to stand a decent chance.

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