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PROPOSED: Via Seth Davis, basketball commentator and personality, on Twitter: 


COUNTERED: Okay, College Football. You know, monolithic College Football, the giant sock monkey monster that is college football, as addressed as one enormous entity.  We'll advance Davis credit and assume he's not talking to you, the college football fan, who knows exactly what he is missing by not having a proper ending to the season. Otherwise, Seth Davis is the guy at the orgy who, while rolling on the floor with two voluptuous lusty ladies, looks over and happens to notice you're furiously rogering the tailpipe of a car.

"Hey, fella, you might want to get in on this," he says. 

"Nope, good over here!" you say, giving the thumbs up while you bang away at the back of a 2003 Honda Accord DX. Little does he know you're doing it a gunpoint because a demented madman ordered you to, and that would require far too much explanation in the middle of an orgy, and though the functional curves of the Accord may not be sexy or even human, they do require very little maintenance like your last girlfriend, and oh yeah: crazy guy who's holding your whole family hostage and demands you have sex with a car. 

We have no problem with someone suggesting that college football has a terrible way of ending its season. We do have a problem with someone assuming a college fan a.) doesn't recognize the glories of March Madness, and b.) that anyone besides Bill Hancock, Satan, and Derpy McDerperson wouldn't set the BCS and Thom Brennaman on fire and throw them off a fast moving train onto glass-strewn tracks at the first better alternative. (Brennaman is in there, well, just because.)