The Blind Oracle at Bristol cackles with glee at you mortals, who foolishly believed his prediction last week. Alas for you, that prophecy was but a test of your faith, and you have failed. Or passed. Or something. No matter! Tremble with fear and awe as the Blind Oracle casts his mysterious gaze toward the desolate plains of Indiana...

"Take the road to the city of ice, and render unto Indiana what is Indiana's. The one who is dapper like unto the adult film stars of ages past defiles the sacred ground, and the waters below the earth erupt in protest. Defeat at the hands of those from the biggest of the East is the greatest of shames, and there shall be much wailing and rending of garments purchased from the store of books for the low low price of $59.99. Bottom line, the Irish lack the team speed to keep up with the Panthers. Pittsburgh beats Notre Dame, 35-10."