The Blind Oracle at Bristol may be a bit late to join you Saturday morning, for even the most divinely inspired of prophets must journey to the local Jewel-Osco to acquire the nectar of the gods.

Silence, now, for the Jewel employees are on their break, and the Oracle enters his trance-like state once again...

"Behold ye the sacred Book of Option; the sideways arrows amaze and confound. The Sea People take an Age of the Earth to cross the field, and then miss a field goal. They do not come for your riches, or your land, or your women, but rather for your knee ligaments. Bottom line, the Irish lack the team speed to keep up with the Midshipmen. Navy beats Notre Dame, 35-10."