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It's the most...wonderful time...of the year. If there's nothing else to love about the week of the Red River Shootout and Fry-off, there's the annual MS Paint Thread of Dominance from ShaggyBevo and its OMG AWESOME artwork. "Napalm." In case the vivid artwork didn't already make that clear, philistine. Damn your traitorous back. Florida wide receiver Carl Moore will likely miss the rest of the season with a lower back injury. Not that the highly touted recruit turned bench potential was playing a lot anyway, but receiver is one spot Florida can't afford losses at even in the form of "dudes what might be good some day." Intramurals might not take him right now. The Legend of Cecilio Guante surveys the grand demolition of the Colorado program nearing completion by Dan Hawkins, who we thought would actually work out at Colorado, but that was before we all realized Chris Petersen was the mainframe cranking out powerful strategery and play-calling, and Hawkins was the decorative mouse pad with the foam rubber wrist support in that machine. It happened in a MON-TAGE. First he wandered the streets with his theme music playing in a slow dirge behind him. Then he had a conversation with an old man who said inspirational words to him, and then suddenly, sometime around dawn and into the bottom eighth of a bottle of scotch, Mitch Mustain looked up at the sky and said: "I need a montage." Then a quick cut of scenes showing him throwing footballs blindfolded on a field at dawn, running along the ocean, and taking qb lessons from a bearded, shirtless surfer-guy Todd Marinovich in a chamois tracksuit in the elder statesman role (Oscar possibilities,) and Mitch Mustain suddenly begins throwing like a man and earns his keep as the new second string qb at USC. Mom is so proud, Mitch. If it hurts, that means it's working. This Week in Schadenfreude is particularly good this week, both because it is about Georgia sucking, and especially because it is about Georgia sucking. Bow down before the one you serve. He's like your Brandon Cox! |
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