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CURIOUS INDEX, 9/24/09

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This morning's delays brought to you by Comcast. Comcast: because you have no other choice, peon.

Actual footage of the team meetings between Kansas football and basketball players.

As expected, the two sides made up underneath the banner of the paramount peacemaker and leader of our time, Todd Reesing. There were other names, sure, on the statement...but you know Captain America was behind every word.

"We all wear KANSAS on our uniforms, and we’re proud of that. We need to act like it. We’ve met; we’re all on the same page, and we will move forward together. The football team is ready to get back to work, focused on Saturday’s game against Southern Mississippi, and the basketball team will continue to prepare for another great season."

Reesing/Truckasaurus 2020, the independent ticket rocking the nation senseless in a shower of puppies, boxed wine, and floaty but accurate passes at the crucial issues of our time.

Plus four. Invisible Matthew McConnaughey says you're playing it too safe. South Carolina sits at plus four in the turnover margin department thanks to tidy play from brahsome quarterback Stephen Garcia. Tonight's matchup with Ole Miss will be the first chance for you to see Ole Miss actually play someone, and an additional chance to see South Carolina beat a top 5 ranked opponent, something they haven't done since 1981. Bonus bonus feature: the two most emotive SEC coaches currently working the sidelines having their own private Italian Opera on opposite sidelines. Spurrier: twitch, pick nose, make pained face; Nutt responds with madman face, running hand through hair, rapid pointless clapping. Viewing pleasure: OFF THE CHARTS.

Y'all settle down, now. Mike Slive wants all this a-cussin' and a-fussin' to stop, y'all. Brian Cook suggests the mad notion that despite Kiffin talking, Tennessee remains a losing team on the season very similar to the model rolled out of Knoxville in 2008, and that Kiffin is nowhere close to pulling a Spurrier, because Spurrier won, and then talked.

NUDE PICTURES OF CHASE DANIEL. Apologies--just wanted to make sure search engines picked up on the internet's eighth most popular search term, "Chase Daniel Naked." The Mizzou athletic department's surplus phones have turned up on the open market with Mizzou athletic department data on them, which does not include Chase Daniel nude...yet!

Sometimes they even say mean things. In the conference team draft, the first team out of the Pac-10 drafted by the SEC would be the Oregon Ducks, both for the uniforms and for the maelstrom of noise generated inside Autzen stadium. This week's marketing ploy: retro unis from the "Gang Green" era.