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Three were gored on their cell phones during falls. Maybe a stampede for open seating isn't such an awesome idea anyway. Someone might fall, and then they might be hurt in the process. We wouldn't want any of that.

Or maybe that's EVERYTHING WE EVER WANTED IN A VIDEO AND MORE. Oh, people falling on metal and concrete. Don't ever stop being funny. (HT: Keo)

You give the Ginger Ninja your best, and he multiplies yours times Ninja power and wins. Ginger Ninja notes your performance. Is performance of life, Stephen Garcia! Congratulations, but Ginger Ninja sees your moves telegraphed several beats ahead, and tops yours. In this manner the Ninja goes from victory to victory, unless he is playing a competent defense, and then NINJA DISAPPEAR!!! [/cloud of smoke]

Various Hawkins get our vote. The contest for this week's Big 12 Cob of the Week is really no contest, since it has to go to crapulent Colorado and Dan Hawkins' management of the franchise as a whole. Toledo! It's a punchline to itself, or it would be if you hadn't watched Aaron Opelt run a quarterback draw for a long TD through the entire defense, topping a performance so stunning it had the referees stroking out on the field.

Just put sponges in the turf. Bleed for your team, Gator fans. Or just wring Jonathan Crompton out over a large pot after a good tenderizing Saturday. /ohgodpleasedon'tbethesecondcomingofBrandonCox

14.7 yards a carry. That is Jeff Demps' per carry average for the season at this point. Early season stats are fun!