USC decides to seize opportunity to work in a few young guys, taste a little adversity, and come out better people for the experience by allowing starting center Kristofer O'Dowd to get injured with a dislocated patella, thus spawning a learning and growth experience for the entire team, all of which will be resolved with a moving and very specifically worded motivational song.
O'Dowd will return to score a crucial touchdown on a tackle-eligible play, no doubt, and ride off on the shoulders of his teammates as he points to his father in the stands, who will finally be able to express the stifled love he felt for his son all these years as result of the episode. And cue your jealousy vomit: in the meantime, the Trojans will just have to muddle through with senior Alex Parsons, who made USC's team despite starting the last ten games of the season at right guard in 2008, and overcame the crippling curse of being a Super Prep All-American to make the team. Somehow they'll survive the opener against San Jose State. Somehow.