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GENE CHIZIK IS PRESUMABLY ATTEMPTING TO COACH

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After years of dealing with Tommy Tuberville, watching the Auburn press corps dealing with another coach is like watching a particularly inept anthropologist stumble onto a virgin tribe and do their worst in analyzing what they do. From the field with Evan Woodbery:

Gene Chizik spent a few minutes observing a special teams drill and then eased over to the sidelines to stand in front of cornerback T'Sharvan Bell.

After a few seconds that involved plenty of demonstrative hand movements and presumably some sort of teaching moment, Chizik patted Bell on the head and moved on.

WE BELIEVE HE WAS ATTEMPTING TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE FOOTBALL PLAYER. Oh, this is going to be fun, especially when it gets to the press conferences. The transcripts of the strange new dialect should end up sounding exactly like something from Rutland Community Television.

And your plan to counter Alabama's running game? Machine wrapped with butter? Machine wrapped with butter.