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PEPPER WALKS THESE STREETS, A LOADED SIX-STRING ON HIS BACK

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Man, this is so rocking. I can feel it. It's all turning around now. We won the Hawaii Bowl. We got another recruiting class. I can wear real belts after a good spell of dieting. The sun's shining Charlie. It's shining like a big yellow jellybean on you. And now you're on stage with Bon Jovi.

This is so awesome. I get to sing this part. It's the Richie Sambora part.

WAAAAAANTEEEEEEDDDD!!!!

Now we've got 'em moving. Get the expectations up to a realistic level. Nobody on my ass about winning a national title. Yup, Charlie: nine games. That's what they can get. No Beano Cook blowing up the place looking for a crystal football hidden somewhere up my ass. Man, Charlie. It was looking pretty dim there for a while. Pretty dim. You lost to Chan Gailey, man. But here you are, rocking out with Bon Jovi on stage and...

Oh God. No.

NOOOOOO----



Pepper, The Notre Dame Comeback Dolphin
: CHARLIE! UNDEFEATED!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOO UNDEFEAAAAAAATED!!!
A NATIONAL TITLE! WANTED! DEAD OR ALIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!

Bill Belichick: Charlie, you o.k.?

Charlie Weis: Just hallucinating again, Bill.

Bill Belichick: You really should start talking back to him, Charlie. I've gotten some of my best blitz packages from a talking monkey-dragon named Hlobar.

Charlie Weis: Oh yeah?

Bill Belichick: Yeah. Ask Kurt Warner if Hlobar's for real. Been with me since Cleveland. Best thing that ever happened to me. Isn't that right buddy?

Hlobar: REAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHKLLLBBBLLLAAADDDLLLLL!!!!! [/breathes fire, winks]