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CATHOLICS VERSUS CONVICTS OHHHH YEAHHHH

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Presenting a matchup so retro one should be forced to watch it with a pair of hot-orange Oakleys on and while wearing a well-gelled mullet: Notre Dame and Miami are considering re-upping for their rivalry game, a series that has been on hiatus since a three-game stretch in 1987-1990 and was dubbed "Catholics versus Convicts," an unfair accusation towards Miami in so many ways. (Probation is a totally different thing, and if you'd ever done anything fun enough in your life to get arrested for it, you'd know that.)

We'd watch it even if Miami in the 2000s has been less Miami, and more "Clemson With Skin Cancer" since joining the ACC. (Similarly put, Notre Dame would just have be "Notre Dame, but with a lingering bone cancer.)

Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick shows off his flair for bland but simultaneously inaccurate rhetoric in describing the matchup on more than just a football level:

Playing Miami is appealing, Swarbrick said, because ``they are two great academic institutions. We're eager to play schools that share our values. There's a lot of great history around the games.''

We weren't aware of Notre Dame's declared love for chunky asses and teetering donks, and was equally ignorant of Miami's fondness for cold weather and overpaying coaches. There's no set date on it yet, but talks will resume in April to figure out which slots in Notre Dame's remaining contract with NBC--good through 2015!--can accommodate the game. If it features anything like converting 3rd and 43 from your own goalline, it will be worth any trouble you care to go through to make it happen.