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The Textbook Case Against Alabama. Lest a single detail be overlooked: Alabama players gave their textbooks to friends at buyback, textbooks given to them with funds earmarked for their scholarships, thus making their actions a matter of NCAA interest, and thus getting Auburn fans to feverishly send in emails yesterday saying "WELL LOOKEE HERE."

Time/Shit calculations getting askew.

Alabama self-reported the violations in 2007, and we doubt they would have been so much as sneezed at in most other college athletic environs. This is Alabama, though, and every parking ticket and skipped class gets three times the scrutiny it would otherwise because of past transgressions, and because the NCAA seems to enjoy straining the biscuit-taxed arteries of Alabamians with the words "potentially serious violations."

Todd is flummoxed; Will actually parsed through the NCAA's document to get at the meatier parts, including the fact that Alabama was denied the "plea bargain" portion of the process.

No matter the outcome--and it likely won't be too nasty for Alabama--perhaps it's a good time for Nick Saban to go do some PR work with Tressel, Brown, Neuheisel and Nutt? To go to someplace where the pressure is a little less intense than Tuscaloosa? You know, like a fine metropolis like Baghdad?

GERG, cont'd. Energetic happy forceful bouncy shiny still getting recommendations from Dick Vermeil no tears though but repeat optimistic energetic electric enthusiastic repeat until satisfied.

If you don't play well, I will come back and choke you all. Bobby Knight spoke to the South Carolina Gamecocks to open spring practice. Knight is an old acquaintance of Spurrier's, and is responsible for showing a tape of a relatively unheralded Indiana recruit named Rex Grossman to Spurrier. This makes Knight a friend of Gator Nation, and a human burned in effigy in Chicago.

Economy, Boise, etc. Even the unstoppable force that is Boise State football bends to the ill fartwind of a recession: the Broncos athletic department has lost $500K for next year as result of budget cuts by the university, and will raise ticket prices 17%, which is okay because where else will you get your precious football, citizens of Boise? In happier news, remember that Boise will open the season against Oregon, who shows considerable balls by traveling to the Smurf Turf for a season opener.

His way sounds far less painful than Lattimer's penis enema. Just as a refresher: Tony Mandarich knew how to pass an NCAA urine test.