clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:


New, 19 comments

Well, yes, that is true. From the Orlando Sentinel quoting man/manimal Ricky Jean-Francois talking about tackling Tim Tebow:

When I talked with Jean-Francois last week, he said his defensive line getting a clean shot on a quarterback like Tim Tebow equates to "a car wreck without a seat belt."

And review what happens in the middle of the line when Mr. Jean-Francois decides that he doesn't like the play you just called:

And we're over here saying, "My, yes. Whatever you like Mr. Jean-Francois, yes. More blood punch?" (YES MOTHERFUCKER!) "Certainly!" ("YOU PEE SITTING DOWN FROM NOW ON!") "Quite, yes!"

PAC-10 Quarterbacks Suffering Colds and Flu, but like, in their joints. Both Rudy Carpenter and Mark Sanchez are iffy for the Arizona State/USC game this weekend: Sanchez with a bruised bone in his left knee, and Rudy Carpenter with a sprained left ankle. Dennis Erickson says he will not start Carpenter unless he's "close to 100 percent," because he'll be down to the usual state of shock, delirium, and near-death once his offensive line "protects" him for four quarters, and you really don't want to go into that with anything less than a full tank of survival fuel.

Washington State is not liable for any and all maiming suffered. You, too, could play quarterback for Washington State University: just come on down and try out, thanks to injuries, anemic offensive performance thus far, and Paul Wulff's wacky sense of humor. A walk-on former CFL player will undoubtedly surface, find love in the arms of a young professor, and get a second chance at life on the gridiron after squandering his talent on booze and arrogance the first time. (Call Bruckheimer! Make! This! Happen!)

His hate is strong and rising. It's Hate Week over at BON, and Peter's picking out elegant coffee table books just for the occasion.

Feelings are important: Jeremiah Masoli, Oregon's quarterback, has feelings, and like all feelings, we respect them, and yet want to shove them deep down with booze, anger, and all the healthy things men do with their rage and sadness. Why? Because saying this like this out loud is pure FAIL:

Said Ducks QB Jeremiah Masoli after Oregon’s 44-10 loss to USC: “We feel like we’re the better team.”

See? It would have been better if he'd just done what we do: have a cocktail, pass out, and then break down weeping five minutes into the first Disney cartoon that crosses our path later on. Damn you, Dumbo. Damn you to hell.