clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

THE VOL NAVY: THE NICEST PIRATES ON THE PLANET

New, 34 comments

The Tailgate Review of the Vol Navy is hyah. A few additional notes:

1. Tennessee women are beautiful, and our favorite outside of Florida (natch) because they seem to be there to actually eat, drink, and look casually and effortlessly hot while actually paying attention to the football game. We don't mean this in the "Yo, brah! LOOK AT THE COCK-KNOCKERS ON THAT ONE!"

No, we mean this in the most respectful, loving way imaginable: you're all beautiful, even the one with the fake tits who was clearly on her way to committing some form of life-altering mistake in the boat a row over. We wanted to give each of you a Lush bath product of some sort, a single flower, and just tell you how much we appreciated you all being gorgeous, football-loving women that you are.

2. We also mean this: the nicest fucking people you could ever hope for at a tailgate.

Expletive included for emphasis, not to suggest they were actually copulating while handing us free beers: just absurdly nice, and nicer than we deserved, of course. Normally I'm jittery and ready to start a Viking axe party before Florida/Tennessee, but it's hard to get your war on in such a gorgeous setting.

3. We want this shirt. We don't even know what it means, but we love it:

4. Yes, they duped the picture, but chicks is page views. We didn't use this one, because it didn't really fit but still deserves mention for astonishingly misused quotations: