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DOES GENE CHIZIK NOT LAUGH? NO, ACTUALLY, HE DOESN'T.

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If you do hear gusty laughter at Iowa State, it's not coming from the head coach, who reminds you that sharks do not laugh, because they (like good defenses) are remorseless killing machines. Defensive coordinators, however, may laugh when it is right and acceptable to do so.

"I think it's a little more smoothly flowing," was how linebacker Jesse Smith put it. "We can concentrate more on football rather than figure out if he's yelling this tone, if he means it. It's looser just because we don't have to figure out the coaches and we can have some fun with them now. We know their personality and their humor style."

Coach Chizik has a sense of humor?

"I'm talking about coach (and defensive coordinator Wayne) Bolt."

Thank you for the clarification, Jesse. The idea of Gene Chizik laughing at anything but the sound of a quarterback suffering severe brain trauma just seems so discordant with everything we assume about the universe. As an aside, in searching for the link in the previous sentences of Joel Klatt being gang-pummeled by Chizik's '05 Texas defense, we found an inspired Texas highlight clip...inspired in the sense that if you combine Vince Young whizzing the ball around at will with Freddie Mercury, you get something completely and utterly un-gay.

Okay, a little gay, but in the best possible way. Just watch this and you'll agree.

He threw like a drag queen heaving cantaloupes at a bouncer, but he's still the best college football player we've ever seen, dammit--Judy Garland throwing motion and all.