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Oh, happy day. Hey, Florida State's got three huge receivers and loves to throw the patented Jeff Bowden jump ball even with Jimbo Fisher's new offense. Hey, Florida's got a banged-up secondary and screaming liability freshman Jacques Rickerson at corner. We saw a woman slug down a 22oz. can of malt liquor and throw it into the bushes next to a MARTA station this morning. That's our soul up there, potentially. (BTW, we don't think it's necessary to put D in quotes when referring to the Gator 'D', as the Gainesville Sun does. That's slang for 'dick,' and if the Gators' collective penis is hurting, there's clinics and antibiotics for that.) Tim Tebow, though, will continue the tradition of being a big, evangelical, other-cheek-turning Florida quarterback by letting FSU's talk of him "going down" in the game Saturday by letting the trash talk "motivate him" instead of trash-talking back. Whatcha gonna do, Timmy, when they hit you late? Say "Please don't do that?" The Michigan head coaching search will begin with interviews with Carr assistants Mike Debord and Ron English. This is all a matter of due diligence and courtesy. Repeat that phrase eight to ten times in a row to yourselves, Michigan fans. Repeat, and rock back and forth hugging your knees in the basement like you just saw the crimson face of Lucifer himself. OBC regrets his early suggestions that South Carolina could contend in the SEC this year. "I was probably unrealistic at some point thinking that our team could compete this year. Looking back, obviously, I was wrong," Spurrier said Tuesday. "At the end of last year, playing Florida close, winning the last two, playing everybody close, I just thought maybe our team would be ready. Obviously, it didn't quite work out that way." So do we. We had them as high as six, further proof of why you never, ever, ever use a late season surge the prior year as evidence for high preseason ranking despite obvious roster holes and instability at the quarterback position. But we didn't have Michigan in their customary 3 hole, at least, so we don't feel completely stupid. Mostly stupid, yes; completely stupid...well, not yet. Finally, we blame the holiday for the double YouTubage, but the attention to detail and superb fighting technique on display in this video are both too good not to share--even if we're leery of referring to young women collectively as "poon."
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